Are you a partner or a parent first?

I am a parent first. Yes, becoming a parent certainly changed my priorities. Honestly, no, one is not more important than the either but they are not equal as well, they are different. There is the unconditional love you will have for your children and the love (many times near unconditional) you will have for your better half. Comparing the necessity of the two would be like comparing apples and oranges, it's not possible. However, anyone would be a fool to ask to have the love that is held for them by their partner be held above that of the love for the children.

Matty Wright (of C5 fame, not NWHS fame) is right (as usual)! I tuned in just at this point and was pretty shocked to hear a mother say this, being a mother should change your priorities. Unfortunately not always so as this case and the callers proves. If it came to rescuing the kids or the partner out of the path of an oncoming vehicle I'm pretty sure most mothers would automatically and naturally pick their children.

If you're a mother who wouldn't do this then I reckon you shouldn't of reproduced.

Imple-say!

Love for a child is always unconditional. I would love my son no matter what happened in life. I may not agree with what he does or says, but that wouldn't change the fact that I've loved him before I delivered him. Ask the mothers of serial killers and rapists. They may be disgusted at the very sight of their kids and at what they had done, but I am sure that most of them still have love for them.

With that being said, I am a parent first. My husband knows that when we had our son my priorities shifted. It was hard at first to find a balance between the two, but it works itself out.

I think that the love you have with your child is more important because it is unconditional and that child will always be your child. If something happened with you and your SO and you were no longer together, most likely, the love would be gone at some point.

I think most women are parents before they are partners and that's why a lot of marriages and relationships break down, because they forget to work on the relationship with their partner (or don't have time). The love for a child is unconditional, the love for a partner often isn't, so perhaps they are not more important, but different meaning one is stronger for the lack of a better word.

EDIT: Yes I think you would still love them, but you wouldn't like them and be ashamed at the same time. They are your flesh and blood, that love doesn't stop just because they turn out to be something you don't like.

this is a really good question!

to me love for a child IS unconditional. even if my child were something horrible, i would still love him/her, even though i may not approve i will ALWAYS love my children and there isn't anything they can do to change that.

yes there are many different types of love, some more important then others. i love my dog, i love my mom, i love my husband and my children ALL in different ways, for different reasons. and i do not think it's silly to believe that one kind of love is more important then another, ALL kind of love are important but each kind of love has a different priority.

i don't know how some people can live without their children. for me my children are the most important thing in my life and although i try to make my relationship with my husband the best it can be i will ALWAYS put my children before anyone else. i could NEVER live without my children. if something ever happened to one of them i would die, no questions asked. if something happened to my husband a would be devastated and i would never be the same but at the same time i would be able to carry on living. i would still be able to get up ever day, go to work, take care of my daily responsibilities etc. i need my husband BECAUSE i love him, i don't love him because i need him.

but live without my children is unimagineable. even when they are grown and out of the house they will still me my #1 and i will still be there for them.

I missed that bit of the show as my daughter was crying . . .how ironic! I am a parent first, and that might be why my relationship with my partner broke down. I put my children first, love them more than anything or anyone else and cant imagine loving a man as much as i love them. I do enjoy being in a loving relationship and when i was with him, i loved my partner so much it hurt but in the end it came down to his happiness or that of my son (his step-son) and there was no competition. I had tried the compromise to keep them equal but at the end of the day i carried my children and loved and cared for them (and still do) and nothing compares to them.

Great question. I watched the wright stuff this morning, and i was horrified at what that writer said. I love my husband more than life, and i don't want to be without him, but he knows that our children come first in my life. They need me, he doesn't, but if it came to an either/or situation, i'd happily die trying to save both my children and my husband. I do believe that you need to nurture your marriage because a happy and healthy relationship with your husband leads, in many cases, to happy and secure children, but life isn't ideal. Men have affairs, and often leave their relationships to run off with their new partner, so you need to be able to survive without them because a lifelong happy marriage isn't guaranteed. I said before, that i don't want a life without my husband, but if he left or died, i'd do my damned best to carry on. If i lost my children, i wouldn't want to. I'd kill for my husband, but i'd die for my children. I can't quite see why it has to be a choice, because the love is very different, but if you won't put your child first, then you have no place being a parent. Simple. As to whether i'd still love my child if they committed a heinous crime, the answer is yes. They'd still be my child. I may not like them, and i'd loathe the crime, but i wouldn't be able to forget the fact i gave birth to them, and was their mother long before they turned to crime.. You don't get to choose the best bits with motherhood. You have to take it all. The good and the bad..

I think you need to love your child more because you are the only one in this world to MAKE or BREAK them. Mothers are very important and hold a strong place like no other. Our kids need that love. Our husbands have a mothers love. Two differant types. You still have to work like hell for your marriage still though.

what a good question! ive been with my partner 6 years and we have a daughter whos nearly 2 and i have to say that im totally a parent first children are your priority! hes a grown man and can take care of himself if needed, but a child is totally dependant on you. love for a child is always more important than love for a partner i think, you will always love your children, but you could maybe not always love a partner.

it would be interesting to hear what he thinks?

It's like Johnathon Ross said..."once you have kids everything changes and your partner comes second,.,your wife and child could be drowning and your wife would know that there was no choice and you'd save the kid." I am a parent before anything else...also...dont want to shock you here but the Mothers of MANY sex beasts and murderers have stuck by their kids. It is a love that is VERY hard to kill.