I need someone with an open mind?

Your an idiot , hows that for open mindedness? just because your husband messed around on you gave u no right to mess around with another womans man and screw up their marriage.. then to make yourself even more of an idiot.. ur still married.. and even after the wife has found out about u, your still sticking around meanwhile the man who wants u to stick around still is sticking around with the wife lol.. sorry seems to me that although wrong of your husband to fool around, sounds like you not only screwed up your own marriage but your the type of woman willing to screw up any other womans marriage since well your fantasy dream didnt come true so why not tear everyone elses life up as well.. ur a selfish immature idiot that has no respect for yourself , or marriage.. i hope she does catch up to you and i hope she does more then smack you... and i see him using u all up and throwing u to the curb and keeping his wife, and u with a broken heart looking like the fool that u are..

Well, I'm certainly not going to judge you, but I don't believe you need someone with an open mind as much as someone with a logical and rational mind. The fact is, you're unhappy and that's why all of this is happening. You're not a bad person, but you're in a bit of a bad mess. You have now succumbed to your husband's cheating ways and are receiving threats from your lovers wife, which could escalate into something far worse than just threats. She may also tell your husband or start following you or do lord knows what to "get you back". You'll agree that this is not a good situation. No one can tell you what to do, but instead I'll ask you this; do you think this is going to be the thing that makes your life better? Is this what you want out of life; to stay in an unhappy marriage with a man who cheats, leaving you no option but to cheat yourself? There is another option. Relationships break up all the time because they're not working, and it's certainly tough to do, but you do it so that things WILL eventually get better. You can free yourself of this soap opera and anguish and live with a clear conscience. You need to believe that you deserve to be happy or you'll always settle for less. Is this how you dreamed your life would be? Or, is it something you would wish for a daughter of your own? I think the answer is no. Find out what it is in you that's having you take this road, instead of the logical one, which is to start cleaning up this mess, so you can finally be happy. You can do it one step at a time, which might be to get out of your marriage. That would need to happen independent of this affair. If you have children, they're learning from this. If not, what or whom are you trying to save? I wish you the best. A

You want someone with an open mind because you want someone who will side with you clinging to the guy, and you think an open minded person will do this.

Sorry, but just because you want to find supposed happiness is no reason to take it or the chance for it away from someone else, especially if that is someone who is in your position; a wife with a cheating husband. And just because your husband has cheated doesn't absolve you from doing the same thing. If you are so unhappy with your marriage, then get a divorce if you truly don't want to or can't work things out. Until then act like you're married, and have some respect for those who still are married.

That's one heck of a situation, you could almost write it into a soap opera.

Anyway, to me it sounds like the guy wants to have cake and eat it too. I'd keep clear of him for the mean time, if he was seriously into you he wouldn't still be with his wife. So he is just leading you on for kicks, keeping with him will cause more heartache for all parties involved.

As for your husband, seriously sit down and talk to him about your future, I don't want to judge but it does sound like your relationship is in trouble. Because of his "ways" it would almost seem smart to suggest joining a swingers group, but that's always a bad idea unless you have a very strong relationship. It would probably just distant you both at this point. After you talk with your husband and decide what to do, you could also confront the other man (if the situation ends up like that) and see what he plans to do. It sounds like he is just going to try and "play" you, so I would stay clear as much as possible. Especially with an angry wife after you.

Hope that helps you out, everyone makes mistakes.

This is not complicated. You're just making it that way. Maybe you like the drama of it all but I can't imagine that you do.

Relationships that start with infidelity will always have a shadow of mistrust in them. If a possible mate (male or female) start a new love affair while still married they may do it again.

My advice.

1) Your marriage: Fix it or break it. Anything else is living a life of cheating and lying. Nobody wants to live there life that way.

2) Your affair: Give your friend the same rule and tell him until he's free and single he's not available and neither are you.

I took the road of not getting involved with anyone new while my marriage spiraled into divorce. I'm convince my Ex was involved with many men while we were still married. In the end she was the one who looked like trash, not me.

You have to leave the married man. There's no way around it. He's being very selfish to insist that you stay when his wife is threatening you.

You have to leave your husband. You deserve better, so go out and get it.

There's no way things can turn out well if you stay married and fool around. And it makes you no better than he is. Imagine what will happen the next time he has an affair and you express your anger about it. He'll just bring up your affair and ask how you can judge him when you do the same thing.

Double adultery is NOT the way to save a marriage...not that you really had a marriage in the first place.

You are asking for someone to approve your infidelity...sorry, no can do.

I cannot blame your lover's wife for being angry!

What should you do? You should do the decent thing: STOP screwing around with someone else's husband! STOP cheating on your own husband.

As far as your marriage...it is history. Find a lawyer and get a divorce.

Now, in the future: ensure you are with a man who is truly available; and ensure the two of you are really in-love, both mature and take responsibility for being a husband and wife team.

Marriage is not a game.

unless you like being a booty call you need to cut the ties. If he loves you let him find you again after a clean break from his wife with no rebounding right into a second marriage with you.

Take a break....transfer or find another job. Leave the philanderer. And concentrate on finding you first. Find your passions and your life meaning and direction. Do this alone and give your married guy time to sort out what he is about too.

if he really had honorable intentions towards u, he would ask his wife for a divorce, and marry u, if he cared. he is cheating on his wife, and hurting her, why would he not do the same to u. in the end he will probably stay with his wife because as men get older and accumulate as setts they don't want to give the wife half. she threatens u because u are threatening her life, and her security. what your doing is so wrong. all your going to end up with is a broken heart, and your wasting valuable time on a man who probably won't leave his family, he just wants a little bit of distraction on the side, and your probably not the first women he has been with.

You need to look after yourself first and get clear in what you want.

You don't want your husband - leave him, get a divorce.

You want to be with the married guy, but you are being threatened by his wife and at the same time he asks you to stay.

He needs to either stand by his wife or by you.

I think all of you just need to separate from each other and find yourself first before being involved with someone else.

Good luck to you

If this scenario is like you describe, there is something that doesn't make sense. The wife of your lover seems to be the only one upset about this whole thing.

She should leave, and let the two husbands battle it out for the sexual

pleasures you seek May the best "or biggest" man win .

Good Luck - God Bless