How come men are told that "they should've used a condom" , but women aren't told the same thing?

Women have three choices to opt out of parenthood after conception:

1. Women can have an abortion (without even telling the father, never mind asking his opinion).

2. Women can leave the baby at "safe havens," no questions asked (again, without consulting the father).

3. Women can give the child up for adoption. Unless the father is married to the mother, or is on a putative fathers registry, he need not be told about the adoption of his child.

What choices do men have after conception? That would be none.

If the mother decides to abort a man's unborn child, he cannot stop her. If she decides to give his child to strangers, she doesn't even have to tell the man, so he never has an opportunity to be a father to his child. If the man does not want to be a parent, he has no choice either. The woman can bring the child into the world and impose a parental role on him, whether he wants it or not.

The point is that feminists campaign vigorously for women's rights to opt out of parenthood after conception. But they oppose men having any such right. They justify this clear double standard by dismissively telling men to "wrap it."

As if they would deny women their reproductive rights on the basis that they should be more careful with contraceptives!!

EDIT: Again with the feminists saying without any apparent sense of irony that biology justifies unfairness. LOL. Here's my favorite:

"Woman have reproductive rights because someone or something made you have the sperm and us have the eggs.

If you want to blame anyone, blame mother nature. You think I want to feel like ive been stabbed in the stomach once a month? We all have reasons to blame mother nature, that cow.

(I hear she's a feminist.)"

I'm a theist, and have always been very curious about a wide variety of religious beliefs and philosophies. I don't think that curiosity is limited solely to believers. It could be that many atheists also have genuine questions about certain religious beliefs and practices. Since this is a forum on religion and spirituality, this is a good place to seek answers to such questions, not from some cold encyclopedia, but from actual practitioners of those religions. Also, many of the atheists I know have spent time studying religion, to the point that they've read the Bible, Koran, and many other religious texts, and can debate them quite skillfully. Another subset of atheists might be here to promote atheism, which is their right. I think there are as many reasons for being here, whether one is a theist or atheist, as there are participants in this forum.

Reproductive rights and parental responsibily are not the same thing so enforcing prochoice is not the same as shirking parental responsibily.Thats the flaw in this argument. Maybe if you are prolife they are but otherwise they are not. Not paying support is shirking parental responsibility. Feeding and clothing a child is compleltey different than stopping a featus from developing. Yes they should have worn condom as people who get STDs are told. Men still suffer less burden in these situations when the women do have babies given that they must stay at home and be primary carers and they also dont carry children making it hard to apply these sort of reproductive rights to them. There are people who take advantage of the situation men should be aware of that. There should be protections to ensure that the funds are directed towards the child and not siezed upon by the mother. As we all agree however it should be parents who are encouraged and allowed to acces the child.

I agree with you somewhat.

Abortion shouldn't be just another protective measure. I'm pro choice, but It should be and should always be a last option.

The laws are in place because a woman becomes pregnant. It's not sexist laws... And I'm not trying to say that carrying a child around for nine months qualifies you to be a parent anymore than a man however the laws fall down to nature and that's it.

It's not like woman would have those options it was the man who fell pregnant.

Whether that is fair or unfair.. Turn your anger towards mother nature or evolution or god or whatever you believe in.

I believe that men should have a say in abortion. I think it's the cruelest of all things if a woman were to get an abortion even though the man wanted the baby and their should be some kind of procedure in place for that. But really, it's probably impossible. You could say that the potential mother and father both must agree to the abortion.. But whats to stop a woman from bringing any man? What if a woman was drunk and can't remember? what if there is a possibility of more than one father or the father has jumped ship?

Unfair.. Human genetics.

I DON'T think a man should be able to force someone to have an abortion. That's pretty disgusting.

It's funny how we view that as killing a child.. If a woman has a miscarriage we view that also as a terrible tragedy, and justly so, But us pro choicers view an abortion as a cold sterile operation.. I guess theres a reason we call it pro choice and not pro abortion.

I don't know if I could get an abortion myself. Probably not.. At least past a certain point when the fetus starts to form. I have no religious or moral beliefs that form that uncertainty but I think the idea of 'terminating a fetus' is easier to think of objectively than something growing inside of you.

I guess it's odd like that, because I am still 100% pro choice.

I can safely say that I would not get an abortion because I would not put myself in that position, excluding medical reason or *touch wood* rape. I'm not a party goer, I don't like alcohol, And although the american government preaches abstinence only, 12 or so years of sex ed being drilled into you makes you smart enough to know not to have sex without a condom (...Common sense teaches you that as well.)

Not to judge.. People make mistakes. I understand that.

Still, It makes me angry that people compare abortion, to fathers (or mothers for that matter) who walk out on their children.

In one situation, you have that of a fetus. In the other, you have a person who will grow up with resentment issues knowing that they were abandoned, a child who will grow up ex planing to classmates why they don't have a dad and not fully knowing why. Yeah, I have some experience there as you might tell.. It may make me bias but it gives a view point of the child's perspective which is so often forgotten in the middle of 'gender wars'

Sorry for all that rambling but I'll answer your question simply and straight forward..

Woman have reproductive rights because someone or something made you have the sperm and us have the eggs.

If you want to blame anyone, blame mother nature. You think I want to feel like ive been stabbed in the stomach once a month? We all have reasons to blame mother nature, that cow.

(I hear she's a feminist.)

I've used the phrase "well you should of used a condom" quite often recently, and last three people I said it to were female. I think that both people are equally responsible for using effective means of birth control. If they opt not to then they should both be responsible for the outcome.

Men should have the same legal rights as women when it comes to opting out of parenthood. Since they do not; it's up to you to take responsibility for your own actions and either wear a condom, get a vasectomy, or go the abstinence route.

I dont know why ur going on about this. It's really simple, look:

Men impregnate women by thrusting sperm inside them.

The WHOLE PROCESS of reproduction takes place inside the woman.

Women's mental, physical and emotional health suffers during this period.

Women go through labour and have to breastfeed and later have to give up their jobs for the kid.

What exactly has the man contributed to this child other than his sperm? Who bears the 9 months and the 6 years after that where they stay home?

And to your question

Its ALWAYS the woman who is blamed for abortion.

"She should have been responsible"

"She shud have kept her legs shut"

"she shud face consequences of her fault"

"Who told her to have sex in the first place"

Ever heard all this for men?

And just for once, someone says to men that they shud have used a condom, u have so much of a problem?

Double standards.

First, it is usually the male who wears the condom. Since it would be on his body, it is his responsibility if he doesn't want to create a kid to either (1) wear a condom, (2) abstain, (3) get a vasectomy, (4) have sex with another man, (5) have some other kind of sex where there's no chance of fertilization. Girls are told that they should use a condom if they are having sex with a guy--both for preganancy protection and for STD protection. NONE of the birth control methods available to women work against STD except condoms and abstention (ok, men having sex with men works for women but it sort of goes under as abstention as far as I'm concerned). Condoms are readily available everywhere and are not costly, do not compromise the guy's health (which most contraceptives for women do), do not need to be taken for a while to be effective, do not cause a lot of side effects. It seems to me that most of the single parents I am aware of are mostly women--the fathers of the kids either refuse to claim the child(ren) or don't want to pay for their kid(s) or some other lame excuse. It is these mothers who have to do the daily childcare thing so dont' talk about shirking responsibility. Yea, they could have gone on some form of birth control, a lot of them probably should have, but these women have accepted that they will have to be provider and protector and parent to the kid. That's why women get to decide what happens to their own bodies, that's why women get to decide whether to end a pregnancy or not. When men get pregnant, then they can decide these things for themselves. Now shut up and stick you head in a condom.

Since men are the ones who are supposed to seduce the woman and then initiate the sex it is presumed that they're the ones who should have been prepared, since the woman had no idea whether or not the man would want sex.

Of course, that is some weak reasoning.

it really leads back to when men would always ask permission of the woman's father before having sex with the woman, because when you impregnated a woman you are "damaging" her father's property, since women belonged to their father's back then. It was a man's responsibility to the father to raise the child and thereby pay back the dowry he received.

All irrelevant now, it's just the way our society works, that the woman owns the baby but that by impregnating the woman the father took out a loan that he needs to pay off.

So stupid...

Yeah I agree with you completely. It's another double standard.

But personally I would never rely on anyone to keep me safe. So I would not point the finger on a guy if he didn't wear a condom. I would make sure he does. If a guy doesn't want to be a parent he should make it his responsibility to use protection not the girl to say he should and visa versa for women. There is no one else to blame but himself if he chose not to.

Unless he did use protection and there was still pregnancy. Then I can sympathies.

Go to the pregnancy category on this site and every few minutes something insulting is said to a girl who thinks she might be pregnant. Usually "close your legs" or "stop being a slut" or "should have used protection".

I think it applies to BOTH parties. Men don't have the same legal right to opt out because they don't have uteruses (uteri?). You could have an abortion if you did.