So I am correct in leaving my married lover?

It really shouldn't matter what others think. Although you are the 'other' woman, if you are comfortable with the situation then stay. If you are happy then stay. I don't know what you expect people on here to say. If you do not expect more than just being with him when you can, then its fine. His wife probably knows he's having an affair anyways. However, you may eventually want more than he gives and that most likely won't be possible. Do what's best for you, because he is doing what's best for him.

Men say that all the time, and have no intentions of leaving their wife. He says he's not sleeping with her - Are you sure? How do you know? My suggestion, if you love this man, do the painful thing and walk away. If he loves you, he'll end his marriage, and come after you. If he doesn't, well, you'll know it was never meant to be.. Men will say anything to get a lay, and you need to know that. The grass is always greener on the other side where men are concerned.. Take pity on his wife and children, and stop inflicting unnecessary pain on them.. FInd a man that's free to love you. You deserve more than the sloppy seconds he's handing out to you.

A man is with the one he deep down loves, simple as that. No kids will not keep a man in a marriage where he does not want to stay. Me and my husband had a good marriage , good relations , nothing missing , no big arguments, unfortunately he fell actually in love with a co worker, he did in fact leave me and our 5 children which he loves with all his heart, sadly for him she was a player and broke his heart leaving him with nothing. The point of my story is , that if he loved you more than his wife , he would be there living with you, It is my guess based on much experience that he is quite happy with his wife and loves her very much in his own way, but you are a nice bonus on the side, someone he can feel young and free with...but not someone he loves deeply. This type of man is basically selfish, he wants to satisfy his needs and believe it he will lie to get what he wants, not in an evil way but in a self centered and immature way. he no doubt lies to his wife too, I am sorry but a man never waits for the children to leave home, by the time that has happened he will be looking forward to settling down and enjoying retirement..not divorcing and losing half of everything he owns!!

Leave him? You should have never been with him. This man is selfish. This man can tell you anything. I'm quite sure that he and his wife are still having sex. Did you not know that marriages that are on the edge, sex is the LAST thing to go? Do you want to actually wait for this man to leave his wife (which will NEVER happen)? To predict the future a bit, unless you leave him for good, this man is going to continue to tell you that he is eventually going to leave her. O,K., he is now using the children as a means for staying, after they have grown up, he'll be using some other excuse. By this time, you have spent years with this man, when you could be with a single man. Worst scenario, this man could have his fun with you and have all of the sex he desires with you until he gets tired of being with you. You know the end of the story. He tells you that he and his wife are going to try to work things out.

Honey, yes, I know it would be very hard for you, but you would be correct in leaving your married lover.

I don't know an easy way to say it, but no matter what you feel for this man, and no matter what you think he feels for you, he's just using you.

Not only is he using you, but he's also using the oldest lines in the "How-to-Keep-your-Bit-on-the-Side" handbook.

If he really loved you, he would have told his wife that he had found someone new. This thing about the kids is yet another tip from the philanderer's handbook. He could help support his kids even if he were with you. He could see his kids even if he were with you. He could be a dad to his kids even if he divorced his wife and moved in with you. And remember that if he really cared about those kids, he would not be cheating on their mother and living a lie in front of them.

The painful truth you have to come to sooner or later is that this man probably has no intention of ever leaving his wife. The reason he says wait for the kids to grow is to keep you as a mistress for years to come and still have his family. He stays with his wife because he wants to stay with her. He's the kind that wants to have his cake and eat it.

Don't be his dessert any longer. There are so many available men out there that would jump at the chance to have a genuine, honest relationship with you - one where you don't have to sneak around - one where he will be proud to show you off in public - one where you would be wearing his wedding ring, and not thinking of it wrapped around someone else's finger.

It might be one of the hardest things you ever have to do, but walking away from this man is the only way you are going to walk into the right man's arms.

Short answer,yes.

Longer answer, I'm assuming that you knew he was married reasonably early on and you certainly don't seem to have ended it as soon as you found out he was married.

I don't think that anyone's covered themselves in glory here.

He will not leave.Men in that situation never do for the other woman's sake.

He may get kicked out and turn to you but if he wanted to be with you he would be.

Using the kids as his cover? Nice

If he was the sort of bloke who respected either their wife or prospective new partner he would have finished the marriage straight away and taken baby steps with you .I bet he's promised the world to you.

Honestly my sister was in this position and my cousin actually is now.

If he was going to leave he would have already.

How can you believe anything he says when one half of his life is a total lie?!

I'm sorry but he has his cake and is eating yours.

I'm a bloke and have been in that situation and no , I didn't leave .

I'm not proud of my behaviour at that time of my life .

I acted that way because I could.

Here's a poem that I remember reading years ago , it's from memory so forgive me.

I don't know who wrote it but it just stuck with me.

Stay away and meet someone who is worthy of you.

He is lonely without anybody to staunch his lust. Wonder how he feels at home with his family, or maybe other women who will do the same as you. It must seem like a challenge to take somebody away from their committed relationship and a prize. Some people are like that with cars- we call them car thieves. Drop the dude. He is a cheat and you're the one he's cheating with. If you had him and didn't give him his way every time, he'd be off with some soft hearted woman who would fill your place. Get someone all your own and be happy to not have to worry about all that. You're wasting your time waiting for his kids to grow up.

When will we learn?! How many times are men going to play us like this before we wake up and stop being such fools. He is lying. His wife is sleeping with him no matter what he tells you. She is not ignoring him, she is living in the real world. He is not going to leave when his kids are grown up, its just a noble excuse to make him look like a martyr. He is playing the lonely card so that you feel sorry for him and it justifies his cheating. Would you be attracted to him if he met you and said,"Hi, my wife is pretty cool, we get along well and have pretty good sex. But wouldn't it be neat if you and I met occasionally to have sex and you could tell me how great I am?" Of couse not. You would think he is the *** that he actually is.

I'm going to give you advice from a man's perspective since all the other people who have answered this are women. (By the way ladies, men are not the only ones who cheat)

What you have to decide is what you want more.

Are you willing to share him with another woman until he decides that he's ready to leave her? Remember, people will say anything to get you to stay - but when the time comes to pay up they have a tendency to suddenly change their minds.

Are you willing to be alone most of the time waiting by the phone or computer for some sort of word from him? Remember, he can't schedule anything for you. His priorities lie with his marriage and children, you will always come second.

Are you willing to never really know what's happening? Extra-marital affairs are based completely on lies - lies to his Wife, lies to his children, lies to you, and even lies to himself.

The reason I'm telling you these things is because I have experienced them. Leaving someone you love is supremely difficult (there is absolutely nothing harder in life), but the pain will fade eventually. After all, whom do you love more? Him....or you?

If you need any more help, email me. I know exactly what you're going through.

Sure, stay with him. The three of you make a lovely couple.

If things were that bad he would leave. People divorce everyday with minimal effects. Ask a divorced person how happy they are they got divorced. Most, if not all, are thrilled to be rid of the person. Don't fall for his BS story about what an awful wife he has and how he isn't loved. That's the oldest line in the book.