You know that guy?? that F-ing guy..?

My top 5, in no particular order:

1) Cell phone guy. You're sitting in the lower bowl. Great use of your pogey. Go ahead, call your equally moronic friends and wave at them so they can see you on television. Go ahead and wave. Your friends think you're an idiot. Everyone else thinks you're a douchebag. And yes, by all means, film the tv and put it on youtube to capture your douchebaggery for all the world to see.

2) Wannabe expert. Doesn't know the game but yet is trying to explain the nuances and rules to his girlfriend in hopes she'll be impressed by his hockey knowledge. Which is all good and well, except nobody wants to see you cop a feel and swap spit, and you have the hockey knowledge of a piece of melba toast.

3) Bang on glass guy. Again...you have rinkside seats. Nothing says "I'm a complete dope" more than banging on the glass 342 times in a game. Once or twice...okay, if you must. Beyond that, you should be getting hit with the business end of a cattle prod every time thereafter.

4) Puck bunnies with signs. Okay, I get it. Mommy and daddy didn't love you enough, and your self esteem issues are mind-blowing. So go ahead and get all tarted up and make a sign professing your love to a millionaire athlete. Do you honestly think (insert name of player) is in the warmup, getting ready for a game, sees the sign, and thinks "oh, screw this...I'm gonna marry that chick with the whorish makeup, the late 80's mullet wearing the too-tight jeans who's wearing my sweater...maybe we can live in a cottage and run a b&b while going to wine tastings!"? If so...I have beachfront property in Saskatoon to sell you.

5) Overage adolescent powerdrinker. A complete loser in life who goes to a game solely to get his load on as a form of proving one's manhood. Not satisfied with powering down 12 to 15 beers, this mental midget then has to provide his machismo by trying to get in a fight with someone while yelling at the officials, the other team, and his wretched excuse of a life in general. Yup, seeing this dipstick get hammered and start fights with anyone within eyeshot...the laydeez will be impressed.

The guy wearing a star's jersey eating peanuts and piling a heap of shells while loudly telling the players what they should be doing... all the while from the rafters (calling out to players that aren't even playing that night). And then when the team gets one goal in he knee jerks and screams for a goalie replacement.

And he gets louder and dumber after each beer.

This guy.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4YnDw-TRdE

b) The guys that yell at the opposing players as if they want to fight. They do this to impress the people around them but I know, and you know, that most would run like lil pus-s-ys if the player ever hopped the glass and went at them.

c) Fans that leave before the game is over so they can beat traffic.

d) Puck Bunnies

e) Fans that only go to playoff games.

f) People with signs. - This is just weird. It's also a sign of ignorance, immaturity and childhood neglect issues. (They usually have a bumper-sticker on their car that just says "w")

The ones who just can't stay in their seat! I can understand standing up from excitement or to show support for your team, but the getting up to go to the bathroom or to go get a snack or just to walk around right in the middle of the freaking game gets really annoying. If you're going to block my view at least have a good reason to do so.

Awesome question by the way!

The guy that seams to have taken the wrong turn at Albuquerque... He is at the Stars vs the Bruins but he is dressed in his Red Wings jersey litterally cheering for the Red Wing who are not even playing ANYWHERE THAT NIGHT!

The hot chicks using daddies season tickets... They always seam to be sitting within ear shot of me and destract me from the game with their hotness but then make me want to jump under the zam with their.. what player is the hottest conversation... and no matter how many yards of margaritas they have they never give up the details!

yea ha ha ha there is a couple at the HSBC game for almost every game and the women is just reading a book listening to music and they show them on the Kiss CAm and everyone laughs

yea and when the guy goes hey royzee thats great keep moving that puck or when briere played for us hey danny boy shoot that puck as fast as u can

it PISSES ME OFF

Maybe your hubby is a pizza guy for another pizza place. And he gets seduced all the time by ladies like you. Or maybe he fantasizes delivering a pizza to you, and you do him. Role playing.

Most of the luxury seats at The Boston Garden are empty during the regular season, yet they were packed in the playoffs.

Freakin' fair-weather bastards

The guys with the over sized team flags that stand and wave them in front of people. Not only do you miss the play but risk getting hit with their flag pole.

The guy who yells stuff at players and yells at the refs about something and what he is saying makes absolutely no sense what so ever i HATE that guy