single parents both guy and girl advice?

Question

i am a single dad of a 6 year old little boy. i was granted primary physical custody about 2 years ago. my problem is that i do not date much, it's not that i would'nt but i just don't. my sons mom, well let's just say that i don't even try to remember the names anymore. my son is getting to the age (actually past it a little) where he is starting to notice how men treat women.with  7 out of the last 10 boyfriends his mom has had she has told him that   they were mean to her and hurt her and that is the reason they split. now i want my son to grow up knowing the correct way to treat a woman. emontionally, physically to both friends and any girlfriends he has. problem is i talk to him alot but sometimes do as i do weighs more than do as i say. and since i do not date then what he sees comes from how the guy's treat his mom. i do not beleive they all have abused her i think it is just a good excuse she give him when the guy is not around anymore. but i am the one who gets to answer the question about why guys do that. does anyone have any tips, or is their anyone that is where i am at. i do the best i can talking to him. she sees him when the court says and the absoulate last thing i want to do is get back into more custody issues. he loves his mom and i can't stand the thought of not letting him see her. but she just can't seem to get it through her head what he sees and beleives.but really besides that there is no reason to bring up a custody issue and i am not sure that even this is reason enough. my main question is not about custody but about teaching him respect a woman without dateing myself

michelle8 · Accepted Answer

when he asks why men hurt women/his mom, tell him because the man has some problems with himself and when he gets really angry or upset, he lets out his anger in a bad way.  make sure your son knows that this type of behavior is wrong and not good and tell him to take note of how it makes his mother sad.

teaching him to respect a woman, just do little things when he's around, if you take him somewhere, hold open a door for a woman and tell him that it's polite to hold doors for women, etc. just bring him up naturally. if you know how to treat a woman, he will. don't worry too much, he'll be fine. you sound like a good father.

andy · Answer

The boy is still pretty young, anyway, there is nothing wrong with a single parent dating- but the mom shouldnt have told the son that the men were mean and hurt her- that will screw with his head. I wouldnt worry too much on how he treats women in the future at this moment. just tell your ex to stop telling him negative things about men. just say it didnt work out.

Anonymous · Answer

The source of the problem is your son's mother. Have a direct talk with her. Tell her how it is. Tell her she shouldn't let guys into her life who treat her like crap. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her that if she wants to continue having visits with her son, she will stop bringing around guys who are no good. Your son's mind is being permanently poisoned with false ideas of how men are supposed to treat women. This could lead to a lot of relationship problems for him down the road. He could possibly be more likely to abuse a future girlfriend if he is exposed to this kind of behavior at such a young age. The threat alone of taking your son away from her will probably scare your son's mother into changing her ways. Good luck. I hope things turn out well for you.

Michelle · Answer

You do not have to date to treat women nicely.  Open doors, refer to women as ma'am, be chivalrous any chance you get; and expect your son to be the same way.  Michelle

Ozzina · Answer

talk to him about it often to reinforce it in  his head what is right and wrong. explain to him.

by the way, it is hard to understand your question -- it is too long, you need to break it up and state it more simply.

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single parents both guy and girl advice?

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