Ahh, gotta love Little Johnny jokes?

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor first putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

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Little Johnny's father said, "Let me see your report card."

Johnny replied, "I don't have it."

"Why not?" His father asked.

"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their

parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The

next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their

stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying

hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on

the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and

all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"That was a fine story Kathy," said the teacher.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen.

Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane

got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had

was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank

the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she

landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed

seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of

bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the

blade broke and then she killed the last ten with her bare

hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral

did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Don't mess with Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."