What to do about an annoying mother?

My father is arab and muslim, so he insisted that all his children have arab names, despite my mom being a white american woman. Anyway, my name is Latifa. Yes, like Queen Latifah (but without the "h" at the end, as you can see). You want to talk about getting black comments, well, I'm your girl!

"Oh, your name is Latifa? Like Queen Latifah?"

"Your name is Latifa? Isn't that a black name?"

"Latifa? You don't look black!"

That's because my name is not a black name, it is an arab name, and that isn't even Queen Latifah's real name. Her real name is Dana. She picked the name Latifah from a book of muslim names.

Sorry!! As you can see, I just had to rant about it. I like my name, really, I do, and despite ignorant and rude comments, I wouldn't change it. Anyway, back to your mother.

Seriously, she needs to stop. You need to talk to her about everything she is doing/saying. After you clearly explain what the problem is, say, "Mom, I love you, but if you don't stop, you are not welcomed around the family." She needs to respect your family, despite your personal decisions.

You can do what I did with my mom when she was bing a racist, bigoted wench....I cut her out of my life. And now my life is much calmer and less stressful! Your mother has no right to pick her own name for YOUR child. Ameera doesn't sound like a "black" name. It sounds like a beautiful name (my name is La'El <lay-el> and I am sure people think that is odd). It sounds like she cares way too much about what other people think of her and you, so make it easy on her, don't have anything to do with her and then she doesn't have to tell people anything! My husband is actually the same religion as my parents and the same race as my father, yet they think I should have married someone within the exact denomination they are and "whiter". They can kiss my rear. My husband and I have been married for ten years, he treats me like a queen and I never have to worry about him abusing my children physically or any other way. He is clean, sober and a great provider.....what more can any parent ask for their child? If she is unwilling to accept you and your husband for who and what you are, then to heck with her....do you want her making comments like this in front of your children (for me even once would be too much) and making your children question your life choices?

My MIL hated my daughters name and carried on about it as well. I finally had it (after 9 months of taking it) and told her if you do not call her by her name she will not call you grandma, she got very quiet and did not mention it again. As far as her skin goes I would tell your mom that you do NOT want that kind of talk around your kids and that it really hurts you and to not bring it up again. You need to gather your thought before you talk and state them calmly yet firmly and do not give in to any more conversation about it. As for the money stop taking it then she cannot hold it over your head.

Edit: by the way I think the name is beautiful!

Assalamualaikum, let Allah be with you. My family is Muslim also. My little brothers names are Abdullah and Abdul, my name is Nefertiti and my mother name is Fatima. I don't look at names as being black names or anything like that because my Grandmother is black and white, so fortunatel for me I have a biracial family. Your mother is just very ignorant and was raised by ignorant people (and I am very sorry to say) but she shouldn't act like that. Do you wrap up like a Muslim? E-mail me if you'd like... lil.devil1414@yahoo.com or nefertitibenton@yahoo.com

I think Ameera is a beautiful name. Now, if your mother is racist in her comments to you, dont you think that she will be that way to your daughter as well? You need to stand up to her for your family's sake. I dont know why you feel that you need to tip toe around your mother, if it were me and she was saying racial things about my daughter, I would not allow her around my family. Maybe that is something you should consider, tell her that if she wants to see your family she is going to have to change. Good luck.

Just calmly tell your mother that it's your decision. She had children of her own and she decided the name, nursery, ect. Now it's your turn. If she doesn't like that she can't control it, then tell her to simply leave you alone until she understands that these are YOUR children, and this is YOUR life.

Everyone is going to have their opinions Just know whatever you and your husband decide together...is the way its going to be

and her "low class" comments aren't going toaffectt you because your not going to let it

wow i would say either you accept your grandchildren they way they are or don't come around and disrespect me or my family that i love no matter what color they are. .. geesh its not the 1950's anymore..

avoid the "mother". learn to set boundaries for yourself.

I love moonshine. She is always right, you know that your should always respect your elders.