My friend is being held hostage by her cat, what should I do?

OK, look you have to reason with the cat. First offer Fancy Feast - every cat lives for Fancy Feast. If all fails and the cat doesn't like Fancy Feast then offer to send it on regular cat vacations to exotic cat destinations, and failing all else, threaten to pull the little buggers teeth out, but only as a last resort as I cannot condone violence towards cats-or humans for that matter.

Maybe she should change the kitty litter and upgrade the cat food to Indoor Friskies, add a few toys. Keep the catnip once a month treat.

i does not. i like kitties. i could basically fake to be their hostage so as that they'd call for thousands of pounds of tuna fish and crimson meat rinds. Then i could help them sneak out the back, and tell the law enforcement officials I escaped the rabit p.c.. of canines interior to throw off their lead. Then my cats ought to get to mexico and lazy in the solar. i could connect up with them almost immediately there after and stay luckily ever after.

From experience i can tell you they should sit there quietly until the cat gets tired.

I was once held captive by a cat for close to a week.

Call Whiskas-R-Us, they'll be round in 10 minutes.

I would throw him out the nearest window.

call the feds.

stop having sick fantasies, thats a start