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John D
Lv 4
John D asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Please read and comment, I'm still on the clock?

Still on the Clock

The debris of another wandering day

Washes up on the living room floor

Cushions and toys and bills left to pay

And unread magazines by the score

I start to clean half-heartedly

Time, it seems, outsmarted me.

The thumping and screaming that comes

From upstairs means the kids aren’t asleep

Before me the dishes and flatware and crumbs

Lie un-scrubbed and un-wiped in a heap.

Four hours for home work and ten hours for pay

Still leaves me ten hours at the end of the day

There’s still time for reading and writing to you

A quick note or a poem or reflections in prose

And when my love’s with me there’s time for that, too

But how we got old? Well, now everyone knows.

Two hours for me time, eight hours for sleep

If you wrap it in plastic, I’m sure it will keep.

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Clever and well written. And, every working person can relate to this. Good job! Thanks for sharing.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The flow is amazing and rare to find.

    It tells a clear story. Far more importantly, there is no choppy parts. I love the fact that I can't tell the rhymes are there. They are hidden because each one suits the other so well. When rhymes are obvious, you know its a bad piece of work.

    Congratulations, you have a real gift.

  • 1 decade ago

    Its good, but remember nothing is 100%.

  • 1 decade ago

    wow i really like this

    has alot of thought in it

    i really enjoyed this

    comment mine please!

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqDOK...

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