Why are women allowed to have abortions, but men are forced to pay child support? (read details first!)?

OK for me this issue hits close to home with me. 3 years ago I made an HONEST to God mistake YES it happens people women are HUMAN and YES sometimes they make MISTAKES.

I had sex ONE time with the guy I was dating for almost a year. I was falling in love with him. he gave me something I wanted all my life LOVE. anyway I did something stupid. I got pregnant he gave me 2 choices.

Choice # 1 have an abortion he would pay for it.

Choice # 2 have the baby but he would NOT pay any support for the child. he wanted NOTHING to do with the baby.

I took choice # 2 he had HIS say he wanted OUT he is OUT. he pays NO child support I am NOT on welfare I SUPPORT MY child. but he may see her anytime he wants. he did meet her one time last December. she LOVES her daddy. it was MY choice to have her it is MY responsibility to raise her. which I am doing. and NO i never blamed him it was MY fault OK.

Now let me also add another thing when people say he should walk away BTW I support that idea 100%. he should have a say i agree.

but the same people then turn around and complain when there are way too many single moms. they turn around and say ALL single mom's are evil. why in the world would anyone support one thing to let him walk away then complain when the mother takes care of the child ALONE NO support NO welfare why do they support this then complain WHY? I wanted to be FAIR to the daddy. I had MY choice and so did HE. so YOU can't have it BOTH ways people when one parent walks away you will have a single parent.

Now I think soon there will be a way that men can walk away. but we need to stop fighting about this and try to help the law to be fair to BOTH parents. after all if he does not want to be father he should be able to walk away if he wants to be a father he should have a say in that also.

We all know people will keep having sex just be sure to trust yourself ONLY. protect yourself. talk about what might happen. know how each other fells about this. and PLEASE remember HONEST mistakes happen. without trying to trap anyone. this issue has no easy answers. it's a tough one and one that I know very well. but I had MY choice and so did he. my child is happy, smart and well taken care of. and YES i would starve for my child and she has roof over her head and like i said she LOVES her daddy and he can see her anytime. OK sorry for the long answer this issue is hard for BOTH parents.

Oh and ONE more thing. her daddy is NOT a deadbeat daddy. he is a good man. he is her daddy and I will never blame him it was MY fault. and NO i am not the victim here. just so you know.

EDIT: and for the record. I do care very much for the man rights to be protected. but why not try and fight for this right instead of fighting on here about this. write to your newspapers. if YOU feel so strong about this then FIGHT for it. I have been trying to write to my news papers about this. the more people that do this the more they will have to listen. but come on stop just talking about it and do something.

Well adoption is very unfair to women. If a woman is pregnant and knows she can't support the child she can elect to place the child for adoption. This requires the birth father signing off his rights. If he won't? She can't go through with the adoption. Most would think this means the father is forced to take over primary placement of the child and care for the child--- BUT IT DOESN'T! He can decline to sign off on his rights and that woman is then forced into parenthood and all that's then required from the man is that he pays his legally required child support but he never even has to see that child! So that's forced parenthood on the other side--- AND? as we all know most child support is less than enough to cover all the child's needs so then the Mother is forced to care for the child and support the child financially.

"forcing abortion" on women if there's a loop hole for a man to get out of child support and she knows she can't do it without child support is unconstitutional and forcing medical procedures on women is against every law known to man. It's also a screwing to the tax payer. When men don't pay up for children they helped create it just creates a tax burden on the tax payer to help support those women and children.

I agree. The soon-to-baby, fetus in the mother is part of two people. Because of genetics a man cannot carry the child it is still part of the guy. He should have equal say in the choice of abortion. However.....I believe that abortion should only be allowed if there was rape evidence or the life of the mother is in danger. Losing two instead of one; the math doesn't add up. Of course being a guy, apparently I have no say so once the guys get up in there and one does his thing. So that's why am picky about who I have sex with. What they can also do, is leave the guy if the decides she "doesn't love him like she used to" or only wants a baby, then can go to court and sue for child support. Not all women do this of course, but there are a vast number that do.

Agreed.

It is very diffcult to answer! I agree with u... Men can want to be fathers sometimes..And I believe there should be a simple law suit about it. It shud not be a female's chice.

But u see,as a female, if I were to have sex..and let us say I am on pills and I afterwards take a mornig after pill too. And I STILL get pregnant..

Now u shud get this into ur mind that I do not want a kid at all currently. NOT AT ALL . I do not believ having a kid untill I am financially sound is nice..so I have put off sex till then

I do not see how that is that big a sacrifice. I do not have sex till I am indepent enough to go thru the consequences. simple. nothing moral about that. Nothing religious about that.

Now back to situation- if after sex, i were to get pregnant. Now I do not want a kid cause I do not want to be with this guy, cause I am not financially stable. Note that I wud have taken the kid at any other time, but not now.

So, then even if my bf is amazing and cool and wants to raise the kid- I will NOT go thru the pregnancy. Because I do not want to go thru it. The man will not have to go thru labour pains- I will. so inspite of it all, I will kill the child. note *kill*.

I will forever feel guilty about it. but it is not the right time for me. And it is my decision cause it is my body. That is how it goes. I will infact not even contact the guy(not unless it is law that I have to), it will save the guy from the mental trouble and save me the pressure. So, yeah.

Look...I do not want to trust a guy. I am 17... and my bf wud b around 20..so even if I were to think around and deliever the kid- where is the garranty that he won't change his mind? Single women aren't allowed to be mothers till they are a specific age- so they know that they really want the chld. Bringing up a child is no joke. What if i give it birth and he can't tolerate the nights, nappies, etc and brings the kid to me? What do I do then?

And what if he is an awful father but he doesn't ask me for help, and i am sad and want to but he won't let me and I can't cause I have relinquished all control once? So, i let a kid just suffer?

What if I grow emotions for the child? do u think I will be able to lie without the kid?

So see, there are lots of was the thing can go.. It is better to not risk it. The kid might come into life and hate everybody..always feel unwanted. Is that right?

Notice that my reasons for abortion are practical and not senti or freedom thing or something. I am tlaking about the child's right to education, and stuff. and when I am 17, even if the guy is like seriously interested in becoming a father...i do not trust him. I CANNOT trust him.

so I am GLAD that he can't FORCE me to go thru pregnancy.

About the finance- I believe that if a woman is financially sound, she shud never ask for child suppost. It is wrong to do so. I wud never do it.a nd there shud be lwas in place to prevent that.

If a woman is giving birth to a kid and the guy also wants the child- then child support is must.. And if the woman has a kid against the man's wishes, then if she has no right to finance unles she is financially incapable.

And if she can't afford the child and the man can pay for it, then that is how it shud be. Men shuld INSIST on every protection known to mankind. It is wrong perhaps..but a child needs money and if the amn has money then he shud.. not like millions, just the amount required..

That is how I think. AND let me assure u i beleive in no sex untill u are mature to pay for consequences..so none of this will happen to me. I really will NEVER ask a man for child support. whatever happens. Myk id is mine. If the man doesn't want it, I do, then I have the responsibility. Personally, no teenagers shud have sex. they always create problems. I do not see why they can't wait.

Child support is not as much of a man/woman thing as you're making it out to be. I know a young man who got his girlfriend pregnant the night of their senior prom and convinced her to have their child, even though she personally wanted an abortion. He said he would support it 100%. Well, she gave birth to the child, and he took custody (they'd broken up at this point), but guess what? He ended up suing for child support.

And that is totally, 100% acceptable. Because once it's been born, it's got needs. Expensive needs. When it's in the womb, it has a direct impact on the mother's health, mobility, and other things. But once it's out, it has to be able to survive. And let's face it, the US doesn't give a lot of financial assistance to single parents. If that were to change, then sure, I'd say let the taxpayers take care of it and not the parents. But that's not the society we live in.

Just because it's a right that is available to women, doesn't mean it's a right that most women would use.

Their first option, obviously, would be to avoid pregnancy. Most women can't morally kill the baby and, no matter what, most women that have an abortion, carries a sense of guilt for a very long time.

I know...go ahead and start the thumbs down... Guilty of not always being politically correct.

EDIT: Obvioulsy, the mature thing to do, would be to know this about your partner before having sex with her. I know a lot of men that don't agree with abortion, either.

The fact remains that their union brought a child into the world. It's not a pawn, it's not a clump of snot, it's a living, breathing human being that needs to be groomed and molded into a functioning member of society, instead of a game piece between two people that have no other interest but their own in mind, complaining constantly about child support, cheating, whatever that was done to break the union, which cripples and poisons a child's mind and spirit.

EDIT AGAIN: "She should starve before seeing her child go without"...a starved woman can't take care of a child, physically, or financially.

"I just don't really see how this is equal."

It's not. It never will be. Next question, please.

This would not even be an issue of people didn't enjoy their casual sex so much. When sex is happening between loving partners, these cases don't go to court.

The rest is just an academic rights argument gone south.

What we have here is the mixing of two separate issues.

Issue #1: Parental rights

Issue #2: Reproductive rights

Now, they are linked, but in the argument for legal abortion, you cannot look at it only as a way to opt out of parenthood, the way men's rights activists always present it. Abortion does remove parental responsibility from women who terminate their pregnancies - that is true. It also absolves the biological father of the same responsibility.

But what the "equal rights, equal responsibility" crowd fails to acknowledge is that abortion ALSO exists to protect the health of the mother. It is a legitimate choice for anyone who falls pregnant unexpectedly and IS NOT WILLING to undergo the medical risks of pregnancy. Risks such as high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, placenta previa, eclampsia.....very real risks for EVERY WOMAN who is pregnant. She is allowed to make that choice to be pregnant or not. Just as no man would ever be forced to donate a kidney unwillingly, no woman should be forced to endure a pregnancy unwillingly, even if she had consensual sex.

I am ALL FOR both parties communicating before sex, and using safe and effective methods of preventing pregnancy. But if a pregnancy happens anyway, I uphold a woman's right to say "No, I will not put my body through 40 weeks of pregnancy, please terminate."

If men have a difficult time with that, then men need to be more careful where they deposit their sperm.

EDIT:

" if the child is the mothers responsibility, the financial responsibility should be hers.

NOT the man (if he didn't want the child - for equal rights sake) NOT the taxpayers "

No dear - the MAN had his fun, and he needs to participate in supporting the consequences of his actions. No one is asking him to cover 100% of the expense, just HIS SHARE for what he helped to create. THAT will help keep the burden off the taxpayer.

If a woman doesn't want to have the baby she shouldn't have to, why can't that be applied for men too? If these people are not smart enough to slip on a 2 dollar condom them PISS why are they procreating?

He shouldn't have to be a father if he doesn't want to, just like if a woman doesn't want it. But for the love of all that is MONTY PYTHON condoms are cheap and plentiful, the pill is also cheap... So lets all think, like we have half a brain?? hmmmmm. Could be a fun experiment.

SIMPLE its not equal- and until men can have babies it won't be... Its not that tthey don't have a "say" its just that they don't have the only say.

And men are the first to complain about anyone having the authority to make medical decisions for them (circumcision and parnets) why do they think they should have rights over a woman's body- one they aren't even related to........

Women do the gestating. And the once born the child's rights supersede the parents. Men can either accept those rules or quit having sex with women.

Women were given the right to have an abortion because of extenuating circumstances like spousal abuse, spousal neglect, financial hardship, health concerns, etc. Men have not been given the right to opt out because it would just be bringing on more financial hardship. Biology limits equality on this one. The rights stop where the zygote starts.