Is loving someone, honoring their spirit, sometimes saying stop what you are doing?

(As I write this answer, I am threatened by the thought that you have deleted this question before I finish...lol)

As they say, "All is fair in Love and War." If I have read you correctly, what you are saying is that, your personal dignity and that of the other party seems to have been eroded due to the turbulent relationship that your marriage has become. And that, you are considering "to say stop, and if that will still be an act of loving?"

It is apparent from your story that you and your partner are now, or shall we say, had been in a "rage war" for quite a time now. And is your "saying stop" a hint for a legal separation?

I am not a legal counselor, but of things I know, your case has not come to a point yet that would merit separation. It might be patched up once the real combination of events are met. Your term, "punching bag" must be taken in the context of just a "word war" between you. I must assume, there are no incidents of physical assault as of yet?

You know, the root cause of all these should be known or ascertained before an Rχ could be administered. The worst case scenario, that is to separate, demands more anomalies between you and your partner before it could be considered an option. Normally, the court would asks if the husband had instances of concubinage, or adultery on the part of the wife (this is not, of course, to disparage your reputation, or that of your partner, this is only what the courts would normally ask of everyone). Then, had there been attempts upon the life of the spouses while initiated by the other. Or, if there is a failure or impossibilty on the part of any of the spouses to carry on with the responsibilities of a married life due to reasons of mental incapacity. There are cases where physical incapacity of the husband (you know what I mean) could be grounds for separation.

But everything considered, you are lucky to have yet many things to prevent a "disconnect." Rage, or no rage, the confrontation between you and your partner might be still considered a "communication." So long as the lines are not severed, there is always hope for reconciliation. Your kids are a link that will prove quite strongly to bind you together in a responsive task.

Sometime, somehow, you will find a way. You're a strong and sensible woman, as I gathered from your narratives. Good Luck.

Ok, then if you are quickly deleting this question I am only able to give you a quick answer. The difficulty arises because of this thing we call love, it causes a split within us and with those around us as we are willing to accept the so-called 'good' within them, but not what we anticipate is the bad or negative so the whole unified person can never be revealed or accepted.

When we are not complete, or whole in ourselves there is very little possibility that we are able to help others on other than a very superficial level, because as the negativity begins to surface it will trigger us as well and then KBOOOOOMMMM and relationships such as a marriage or committed partnership are ideal for this to happen, so respond to every situation as truly to yourself as you possibly can and with as much awareness as you are able; remain quiet with awareness in those times where it is neccessary to do so and concentrate on your own spiritual development, because only when you are centred in yourself can you be truly free from the entanglements of others. Be Well xx

too much of everything is bad ,. if u will love someone too much ,the results will make u irritated. i cannot write any more. i have read the title only . can u ask the same question in other words in two or three lines, i will really help u . if u r seriously needing help u can email me .i am struggling with same type of problem ,i think .... however i will have to read ur story for more than two times ,in a free time .please wait . i will try to solve it with my best. now i read ur problem, believe me , i m also searching for the power to fulfill my peace of mind . last year i got the success ,but do u know what happened? i got the power to make any difficult task easy, but i couldnot do anything for the person to which i love up to extreme . the reason was that i wanted 5 oranges [for example ] to end my thirst ,i searched hard but nobody helped me in providing just even the address of place where oranges are available, then i left the desire truly . as soon i left the desire , i got the garden where all type of fruits were available including thousands of oranges . and i was made the owner of that garden by an unknown power of nature [ god] . i got ashamed of myself that i was weeping for 5 oranges only . i further left that garden and allowed people to enjoy the fruits ,,,,,. i was on a away where a complete forest existed having many gardens of that type ,,,,. i was gifted that whole forest . i enjoyed the way ,i was getting more and more . that way was the sacrifice of desires from heart . i keep on loving sacrifice . soon i was the king of universe.... the god . do u know what happened next ......? i was no more a normal person, normal husband, normal son or normal businessman. all world was mine .i loved all world . but the world was not understanding me except some great personalities. i joined the family of those who were already on that stage . i was enlightened by and gifted with divine knowledge . i got amazing joyness which is beyond description . what happened next ......? i had to choose the desire of 5 oranges again for returning to the normal stage of mind and real life . that was a big tregidy ......!. what i was learned by this experience that i should not go so deep in anything .i should choose 5 oranges when i was having garden . i should not seek more than my deep desire ,although the way i could do was a legal way or easy beautiful way. my guru ji [ RAHI MOHINDER SINGH ]says ,EVEN TOO MUCH RECITING THE NAME OF GOD IS ALSO BAD . so keep on loving u love ,but remain alright.

This type of behavior is obviously unexceptional and a critical reason there is a need to adopt a strong countermeasure against someone who harms you and yours, and if you let it pass, there is a danger of that person becoming habituated to extremely negative actions, which in the long run will cause that person's own downfall and will be very destructive for those involved. This delusion is a kind of prison for you. restricting you to your personal desires and affection for a few people near to you. Most sadly the verbal, emotional abuse that you and your children are receiving has the ability to leave scars that will never heal. I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn, must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed. This change will require an awareness on his part and it will be gift that will have to come from within him not from you. It will require a desire from him to be different and openly admit his wrongs before the changes are able to begin and as we know all to well growth is optional. The best of all for you on your journey.

I say this with the intention of helping....

I don't know you or anything about your life, but based just on your question here, I wonder if you use THINKING as a digression from the simple truth as a defense mechanism.

Or perhaps, your mind is conditioned to run. You may want to train it to be quiet.

Also, I wonder if you try to do to much and overplay your part. Sometimes, you have to let things change naturally.

I'm not saying my statements are true. Perhaps you should consider what I have said, but not to hard and long. If your honest, you will probably find simple explanations.

Touch lamps are highly sensitive to changes in line voltage, spikes, or drops. These can cause a touch lamp to run through its cycles. My dad had two that did the same thing. (One on the same circuit as a washing machine, the other was on a circuit that also had a motor. You can test this yourself by quickly unplugging and plugging back in the touch lamp. Everytime you do that it should change to a different setting. Personally I don't beleive in ghosts (Really, my answer is usually i don't know. It's possible, but...) but I do beleive there is something out there. and even if you think it "says" that it is your father-in-law doesn't mean that's its true without doubt. As far as i know, spirits (if they exist) they can lie too.

I agree with Isabelle and several others who have answered you. I think it's very important that you read your words, and not just write them. The answer is in your own words.

If you can, try to take some classes in writing. I think this would help you a great deal to sort out your thoughts, and you could put those writing skills into something tangible like short stories or books.

First, no amount of love can change someone who is not ready to change. You hear others saying "people don't change" but that's not true, they change all the time. But they change when they are ready, not when we say they should.

So what do you do? You walk away. If you love, honor, and respect yourself and your children you will not allow this behavior to continue in yours or their presence. Just say to him, "I love you, and if you want to continue to behave this way, it's your choice, but I can no longer be subjected to it."

We may not be able to control others, but we can control our own actions. Staying with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive is just sending them the signal that "it's okay to punch me... I'm not going anywhere."

If you really love them, then you need to do what is best for them... that's what we call "tough love." The crappy part is that often "tough love" seems "tougher" on US than on the person we are trying to help.

Where spirituality is concerned, walking away from an abusive situation with a heart full of love & forgiveness for your abuser is the ultimate show of unconditional love, and is also the sign of a highly enlightened being. Staying with an abusive person speaks of insecurities, fears, and dogma... so there you have it... make your choice.

This is not an easy problem to solve on the level you are trying to solve it. No one else has knowledge of the person you speak of in this way. The trains of though required cannot be maintained in such a disconnected medium as this. There needs, there has to be, a treatment of this issue on a personal level. Counseling is probably in order. This other person must be made aware of the disconnect. In order to do this he must be met at the juncture of separation. To find this place, and then to be able to communicate the problems in a loving way are most likely far beyond the capabilities of even we, who speak through the telepathy of this medium, have, despite our desires to do so.

If nothing else you have my empathy.

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

for love

for your dream

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow

if you have been opened by life’s betrayals

or have become shriveled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me

is true.

I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me

to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up

after the night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone

and do what needs to be done

to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know

or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

in the center of the fire

with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom

you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone

with yourself

and if you truly like the company you keep

in the empty moments.