Hows my best man speech? (Advice welcome)?

When I asked Phil how he wanted his best man's speech to go he said he wanted it to be funny, and so all the time we’ve spent together means that he’s had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, whilst I have tried to make this speech funny, it really is Phils fault if it’s not.

So Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day. It’s been an emotional day for us all, ……..even the cake is in tiers..(look at Phil thumbs up) On behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank Phil for his kind words. For once in my life, I find myself agreeing with him - they look beautiful and have done an excellent job today, and only rightly outshone by our bride, Sandra..And, I'm sure you'll agree with me guys, today is a sad day for us single men, as another beauty becomes unavailable. And well ladies, eh em moving on.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Chris. I’ve been Phil's best friend for nearly 10 years now.

I know a lot of people here are probably wondering “just what does Sandra see in Phil?”

Well I have known him a long time and too be fair….I don’t know either!

it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I just wanted to make it as easy as possible.

The obvious place seemed to be the Internet,

After a couple of hours searching I found some REALLY good stuff , but ....then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for tips on Best Man speeches and I did actually find LOADS of ready-prepared good speeches . but sadly, NONE of them were about a couple called Phil and Sandra ....so I ended up having to do it myself

Ive known Phil since College, we first met in a small pub called Quinns where we spent most of our lessons, he was the Geordie Fonz back then a bit of a ladies man always being surround by women

I think it was because he had a really distinctive taste in fashion and well, being young and impressionable, I started to copy him in the sorts of things he used to wear - until my mum went mad at me for going though her wardrobe.

in some ways over the years you could say I've been like a father figure to him. Ive watched him drink from a bottle, I watched him stagger around naked, I watched him crawl around on the floor, I've dressed and undressed him, cleaned up after him … and that was only last night!

I think me and Pete have done a great job getting Phil her today sober, on time and good looking .. well compared to what I had to work with this morning two out of three ain't bad.

My only one disappointment would have to failing to arrange his last request as a single man - due to strong protests from those do-gooders at the Stanley Sheep Protection Council. I tried my best Phil.

I do believe that marriage is a wonderful thing for Phil. It will teach him loyalty, self-restraint and control. It will him develop a sense of responsibility, fair play and so many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had just stayed single.

There is also a card from those guys from the golf club. It says, ‘Phil was useless in all positions but we hope Sandra has more luck with him later’ not sure what that means but anyway…

On a more serious note, Phil you both looked fantastic today, we have had some excellent times together over the years mate, and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You have been a great friend to me and I feel like i've gained a new friend, and it really is a great honour to be your best man, and I wish both Sandra and you every happiness for the future.

Ladies and Gentlemen, May I now ask you to stand, and it gives me great pleasure ask you to raise your glasses in a toast to Phil and Sandra, the new Mr and Mrs Miller. We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage.