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poem i wrote. thoughts, opinions?
thanks for clicking :]
to judge me is to judge yourself
are you that doll on the shelf?
tattered and broken with chopped up hair
wishing your smile was really there
wanting to be perfect in everyway
but your face is stained with tears everyday
i know how you feel
ive been that low
dont be afraid to let that show
together we will go so far
beautiful we truly are..
thank you again! xx
i usually find the need to say this because people think that i am much older than i am.
i am newly 13.
7 Answers
- 5 years ago
easily you wrote solid verse yet fell into your very own rhymed curse With end rhymes caught on each line do no longer holiday Mr. C, it incredibly is positive It concerns no longer the situations you have heard of affection or doubt or any word A poet properly worth his weight in ink Will discover new suggestion on the thank you to make you think of All cool such exciting to play with rhyme No injury no foul it incredibly is not against the regulation Your verse is advantageous and has solid flow capture ya later..I ought to pass
- 1 decade ago
I really like the unique quality of the doll idea. though, i think it would help to maybe use a thesaurus and vary the everyday words/phrases like "feeling low/show". also, possibly adding more description. otherwise, i really really like it. :)
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
quite nice..........i mean........really you have talent.
- 1 decade ago
WOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Can u please answer mine-http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsmZ8...
