i wrote this..but,i think its bad..share me your opinions..?

Hey, I will be honest because if i tell you a lie i am not doing any good for you.

Well, it is good but it sounds like we are reading a story, but! You can change that and make it rhyme. Once you make it rhyme post it and let me know and i will comment.

Let me tell you one thing

Never give up before i wrote a poem and 2 or 3 people said it wasnt that good you have to get used to critizism. and they are only saying this for your own good because they want you to do better

I like it, but there are a couple lines that either need to be changed or looked at.

Am I their child?

or neighbor's child? (maybe The neighbor's child)

"The I can't live without that" doesn't really work well. You are basically saying that you can live with no love or family because of the double negative. Maybe say "I can't live with that." Personally, I would like the last sentence to be different. It seems very "cookie cutter". It just doesn't seem to match the deepness of the rest of the piece.

I am not trying to sound rude, just giving my opinion. I like it though. It's well written!

Note- It doesn't need to rhyme. Not all poems do...(for the comment above me. Not being rude).

Les Miserable

I loved how you incorporated "it slaps me" and "It kicks me" which in my opinion is a form of abuse used to symbolize the feeling of being let down or unloved........right? haha.

Anyways it was really good. It appeared to be well written,organized, creative, and legit.

Good Job(:

its kinda hard to say. you've got to realize we are reading it a text and nothing pops to us like if you where reading it out loud. if you can make a poem that shows emotion. shows what you are trying to say and how you are saying it then thats a good poem.

Good job

Great!

that was accualy really good

THIS IS AWESOME