Missed our "window" for trying insemination procedure...?

Question

Okay, this is more of a rant than a question.  I'm just so frustrated right now with my fertility specialist!!  He has been charting my cycles with blood tests and ultrasounds for the last 4 months.  The first month he said he didn't think it was me & to have my husband's sperm checked.  We did this and he was right.  My husband has healthy sperm that don't swim well.  I don't fully understand how the lab could call them healthy if they don't swim, but that's a whole other rant.

Anyway, the next month we tried just timing BD based on the doctor's guidelines through the tests.  No BFP.  So last month I expressed a desire to try something else, namely interuterine insemination (IUI).  This way his sperm is closer to my egg and hopefully can get the last little way on their own.  The doctor agreed that this was a next logical step.  But we were out of town the weekend that I ovulated on a trip that we had planned back in February.  Aargh!!  So we just BD'd everyday that weekend hoping to get lucky.  Again no BFP.

So last week I went in on cycle day 9 per my doctor's request.  I know through OPK testing for the last 7 months plus the doctor's tests the last 3 months that I ovulate on day 15 or 16 every month (I have a 31-32 day cycle).  He did another ultrasound and had blood draw for more lab tests to find out where my hormone levels are & what size the follicle might be.  He insisted that I come back today (cycle day 16) even though I reminded him that I have been ovulating on cycle day 15 or 16 for the last several months.  I didn't want to come in too late and not be able to do the IUI.  Well guess what?!  My hormone levels indicate that I've ovulated & so we can't do the IUI this cycle.  

Why don't doctors listen to their patients?!  I tried to get him to see me on Monday or Tuesday, but he insisted that Wednesday was going to be the best day.  Well, now that Wedesday is here he was WRONG and I have to wait another excruciating two weeks just to see yet another BFN.  We've been trying for too many years to go through this for very nuch longer.  We tried for 10 months before my husband went to Iraq.  Plus it's been nearly three years since he got home that we've been trying.  That's a total of 5 years of wanting another baby with 4 years of actively trying.  I just want to see that BFP.  I wanted my kids to be closer in age, like 2-3 years apart.  If I get pregnant this cycle the baby would be born right around my daughter's 7th birthday.  I don't want them to grow up feeling like two only children.  I feel guilty complaining about not being able to conceive a second child when I know plenty of women in this forum are struggling to have thier first child.  But I feel like something is missing from my family.  We somehow are not complete.  My husband has said he feels it as well.  We want another baby to finish our family.

I guess I just need some kind words and support from women who know how I feel.  Thanks to all who have taken the time to read this and listen to one woman's frustration.

Vaginal Guru is a mum! · Accepted Answer

We can all relate, we're all frustrated.  And most of us are frustrated with our doctors too.

Demand an appointment with your doctor, sit him down, say this is greatly effecting your quality of life.  Make it clear that when he pushes back appointment dates although it might be convinient to him, your body can't run on his schedule, and his mistake made you waste an entire month.

My doctor originally tried to tell me that I had issues with my eggs and that I couldnt get pregnant naturally (after I had already had 2 miscarriages).  I found out 3 days after he told me I would never get pregnant naturally that I was in fact pregnant.  When I miscarried that time he said he was right and it was an egg quality issue.  I had to sit down with him and explain to him that if it was an egg quality issue I wouldn't be getting strong heartbeats and proper developement, and that with my health history, and the way I was miscarrying that autoimmune seemed to be the only thing that fit.  No doctors here believed me, I had to go out of the country to get testing done to PROVE that it was in fact autoimmune and not an egg quality issue.  So frustrating.

I know it's infuriating.  Make notes about how you feel, what you think the issues are with your treatment, and sit down and read them to him.  Doctors generally will listen as long as your knowledgable, calm, and especially if you bring up your quality of life.

Have they done an HSG to make sure your tubes are open?  Also next month consider trying instead cups along with IUI.   Instead cups are normally used for menstruation, but can be used when ttc to keep sperm against your cervix for up to 12 hours allowing many more to swim in.  Also orgasming will increase the number of sperm that make it to your uterus.  Or you can try preseed, also another product (sperm friendly lube), that can help with slower swimmers.

Good luck.

dudik · Answer

i admire the fallacy that they by some potential ought to be "top qualified" or "experienced", whether as none of those scammers are regulated then those words are completely meaningless! that is incredulous that some gullible sap could entrust their existence to a white-lined hoaxer who revealed a pretend cert off their workstation basically hours in the previous.

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Missed our "window" for trying insemination procedure...?

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