Missing Condoms, Cheating?

This question is really bizarre because you seem to be of the belief that it's impossible that this box of condoms is more than three and a half months old. I don't get that!

PS - Shame on you for not using condoms - they are to protect not only your health, but hers too!

I know what your thinking. You only see her on the weekends, you have an IDEA what goes on during the week but your not sure exactly. Your at the point where you really like this girl so you don't want anything to go wrong. Now you saw an extra condom missing. Your not accusing her of cheating but your mind is making you think about it. From what your saying I think she wants to be with you and is not cheating. There can be many reasons a condom is missing but I would be just as curious as you are. I think directly asking her about the condom is not a good idea. She may think you are accusing her of cheating. I would try to get an answer from a different approach. Maybe take the box of condoms out when looking for a shirt and drop the whole box on the floor. Put a few back in and then looking around and start looking for the missing one. If she asks what your doing tell her you think you missed one on the floor. Count the box and look at the floor. Start looking for the condom that doesn't exist and read her body language. She may know what your up to or she may not. This is just an example.....You don't have to do it. All I'm saying is maybe think of another way to approach it without asking her direct. Other solution...just let it go but keep your eyes open for a while. Work on building your relationship and make it stronger.

Also keep in mind, if she was cheating on you, I don't think she would use the condoms from the box and leave the box around for you to find it. She obviously doesn't think she has anything to hide. That is why you found the box looking for a shirt............although I think you were snooping a little but won't admit it to us :)

If it bothers you SO much then it always will no mater what you'll always have it in you head and she cant read you mind to know whats going on i think you should just ask he about the condoms don't jump to conclusions if you never ask you'll never know maybe she gave them to a friend like you said 3 1/2 months is a very short time to be thinking about marriage especially if you would think she could cheat on you and if she had sex with you the first night she might not respect her self enough to hold back someone else you should really know some one before any thing big !

Hope this helps *

I notice that you don't say anything here about whether or not you even discussed having an exclusive and monogamous relationship.

If you haven't specifically committed to each other after three and a half months, then it doesn't matter what she does until you have that talk.

Assuming you did have that talk, you have one of three options here.

The first, ask her about it. If you do so, do it in a non-accusatory way. She's likely going to get a little defensive, whether she's cheating or not, but you should be able to gauge from her reaction whether there's something more going on that she's telling you. "Oh, I was looking for a shirt and happened to see that a condom was missing, do you know anything about that?" Then, whatever answer she gives, believe her unless you have evidence otherwise.

Another thing to do is to say nothing but start looking for more clues that she might be seeing someone else, changes in behavior, skipping out on dates, strange phone numbers in her pockets and such.

The last is to break up with her.

Toughy...

I would confront her about it. Not in a "confrontational" way of course. Just tell her the truth. Say, "This has been bothering me for a while and it would really ease my mind if you could explain the box of condoms in your drawer that I found when I was looking for a shirt to." She'll probably get defensive right away, but continue in a rational, soft voice so that it doesn't seem like you are attacking her or accusing her of anything. Mention that too if you need to. Say it like that too, "I'm not accusing you of anything, but like I said, it would ease my mind. You know that I want to be with you and I would like to see that we have a future together but this condom thing, as small of an issue it may seem, is pretty big."

You said that you and her stay at each others' places so I am assuming that she has stuff at your house and you have stuff at hers. To go through the drawer to find a shirt for yourself wouldn't be out of the ordinary right? So if she accuses you of going through her stuff just reiterate the truth. You were looking for a shirt.

It could be nothing. She might have had the box long before you two met. Two missing means that she might've used them before you two met.

But know this, if she is in fact cheating on you, even though you are NOT married, I would run away and run fast. Any girl that would do that is a cold hearted b--ch! I'm not saying SHE is, but if that is the case...

Worse case scenario, she has cheated on you. At least you don't have to waste your time worrying over her anymore. And at least your chances of infection are slim.

In truth, I think you might be overreacting. My husband and I have condoms and we NEVER use them. If she were cheating on you she wouldn't leave the condoms out like that. She would probably have them in her bag. But if it eases your mind then yes definitely confront her. At the very least it will show her that you care about her.

There are so many reasons that this could happen. Your best bet is just to talk to your girlfriend about it. First you need to apologize for snooping then tell her that you needed to say something to her because you want to be with her and want to make sure you're exclusive. It is possible that she is seeing other people but after only 3 months you would probably destroy your relationship with her if you start confronting her with accusations. Just give her a chance to explain what happened and decide beforehand if you can handle it if she has been seeing other people. In my opinion you shouldn't get offended if she is, unless she has told you otherwise. Good luck, I hope it works out.

Your theory and reasoning behind her cheating is lacking way to much evidence. You are most certainly jumping to a conclusion. It is easy to get worked up about something like this but, you need to re-evaluate this one. Dude, if you both never use condoms, she wouldn't use one with the person she is cheating on you with. Not only, that could be a really old box of condoms. Be honest with her, just ask her because you are concerned.

Here's my thought: even if you were snooping when you found them, I still think you have a right to confront her. Snooping is wrong, but cheating is even more wrong.

I would probably sit down with her and very calmly ask the questions. You have a right to know, especially if this is someone you want to have a future with. If you don't ask, you're always going to wonder, and you can't live yourself in doubt. At least I can't.

Good luck.

she owned that box of condoms before you ? I don't think it's a big deal,maybe she brought two and one stayed in her purse,pocket ,went thru the laundry..sometimes my friends would ask If I had a condom when we went to a club many years ago..many things could have happened..strange that you counted the condoms.I think you may have some insecurity problems..problems trusting..I think it should have been an easy question and an easy answer about what happened to the condom,then you need the explain why you don't trust and why you counted them.

I have condoms in a drawer that are probably 10 years old! I noticed them a few weeks back and the expiration date was in 2002!