my friend is acting mean and unlike herself should i remain friends with her?

Question

every yr before school starts my mom takes me and me little bro to the beach boardwalk 3yrs ago my mom started letting bring friends too, its an hour drive from where i live so my friends parents dont really wanna have to drive them so they go in our 5 seater car, thats means there are two extra seats, last yr i only brought my bff natalie because mattie couldnt come, this yr i invited natalie, emily, and mattie, we didnt have enough room for everyone so when i invited them i said someones parent would also hve to drive, emily txtd me and offered for her mom to drive but then we decided to go on friday and her mom worked and natalie's mother doesnt drive that far

mattie never txted me back until the day before she said she might be able o go and that her mom was gonna drive her and her bro and her dad, then her mom found out about the fire and decided they were gonna go on sunday and wouldnt change her mind

after we had already made plans there was no way for us to drive her cuz we had no room and my father wasnt going therefore he couldnt be another driver either

the night before she 3-way chatted with me and our bff natalie(we have all been friends for more than 5 yrs) we weresad she couldnt come with us and said we shold all go again together in a few weeks after about  half hor of talking i got a txt msg from emily wanting to kno wat time to come to my house, i said hold on i have to txt emily the time for tomorrow, a minute after i got back on mattie wasnt talking to us and natalie asked her if she was still here and she said ya and natalie and i started talking and then i said something to mattie and she wasnt there and we thought she must have accidentally hung up or something, it was late so we both said we would talk tomorrow, i called mattie but she didnt pick up so i thought maybe she went to bed

i didnt have any free memory on my cell phone so i didnt get my txts from the night before until the next day when i deleted some old ones, i had gotten two txts from mattie:
im surprised u gave emily a seat over me in the car considering u always talk **** abut her

im just wondering if u talk **** about me 2 emily nice friend u r

later i showed natalie the txts and talked to her about it and she said that mattie didnt kno emily was coming and we now think she hung up on purpose i txted her back and said that we were just saying how we wished she was here but she bever txted me back

also i havent been friends with emily as long as i have been friends with mattie but mattie goes to a different school than emily, natalie and i go to, so i dont ge to see her often

i dont kno wat to do on one hand i wanna txt her and ask her wat the hell her problem is and ask her why shes acting like such a ***** because i told her some of the problems i was having with emily in confidence i also texted her and said that emily was my friend too(meaning she was also invited and it wasnt like i gave matties seat away especially cuz shes never riden with us before and her ma has always driven her and her bro)

i have too many problems of my own to be dealing with friends that are less than supportive and grumpy and or acusitive, im not sure i want to be friends with her if she is going to act like that
emily acts like that too sometimes but she realizes that it bugs us and has got better and is trying to talk to us about it more rather than act mean

mattie and i have been friends since 4th grade(im going into 11th) i dont want to loose her friendship but sometimes i feel like im the only one making an effort because she never calls me to hang out im always the one to call her and half the time she agrees to hang with me and then she cancel because she decided to go do something random with her fam or she had another friend that she forgot she promised to do something with

i dont feel she has the right to act all wounded that she was excluded(through to fault of mine) and then blame me for it and lash out and throw things back in my face that i told her when i thought i could trust her

should i give her a chance to explain, tell her how i feel or move on because this friendship is not working/going nowhere?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm a little confused, but if you've been good friends with Mattie, then definitely give her a chance to explain and reason things out with you. Think from her perspective and also share your opinions. If there hasn't been any other disagreement between the two of you, then it shouldn't be that big of a deal. 

I don't think it's really anyone's fault- it was simply coincidence. From the story, I don't think she was really justified in saying "
im surprised u gave emily a seat over me in the car considering u always talk **** abut her"
since she did say her mom could drive her. There were a lot of last minute cancellations and change in plans, so don't blame her either. 

Most importantly, don't let a small summer incident ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. Good Luck!! :)

Anonymous S · Answer

I totally understand where you are going with this. My friend and I went through lots of stuff and I came so close to telling her I didn't want to be her friend anymore. I am so glad  never did. Eventually we talked and now everything is all good again.

Do not necessarily "give her a chance to explain" but you should try and talk to her. If she doesn't answer, don't let it be the reason to not talk. She is probably feeling a bit rejected. Yes, she is wrong but she is probably hurt. She probably doesn't mean it and just said it spur of the moment.

Keep talking to her though. If she keeps ignoring you, tell her if she wants to talk, you'll be there. that way when she is up to talking, she'll know you're not rejecting her.

B0uncingMoonman@aol.com · Answer

Altho experiences like this are very real and serious to you at your age, in the scheme of life, they will one day seem  quite trivial.

Just forgive and forget your friend`s outburst.  Under stress we all sometimes say things we regret. And youngsters of your age often see `insult` where none was intended.
Move on, try to forgive and forget (if there is anything really to forgive) and try to keep your friend.

Remember, good friends don`t come along that often, and once we have found one we should try to hang on to them.

Anonymous · Answer

You should talk to her. Don't just give up on her after so many yrs of friendship. Talk to each other. If you don't the misunderstandings will only get worse.

? · Answer

there is super distinction contained in the thought of boys and girls.lots of the girls are friendly loving nature.they'll artwork with adult males very heavily yet there won't be love continually.Love and friendships are rather distinctive words.there may be various buddies for a woman yet only one lover. Love has to originate from coronary heart and if its genuine love we dont might desire to tell.we are able to experience the discomfort if we leave one yet another for sooner or later.the lady you pronounced considered you as a genuine pal who can help her throughout the confusing circumstances which won't implicit that she is rather in love with you to get marriage.Now a days ladies are greater real looking and that they want protection of their lives and that they too love their mum and dad very lots.She cant deny her mum and dad want until eventually she is deeply in love with somebody else.generally the girls who works in social agencies blend with various boy and lady buddies and that they wont get fall in love with any physique so actually.the best project is that she considers you because of the fact the appropriate pal and she or he counseled you approximately it additionally.yet once you stood with your loving approach she needed to circulate faraway from you.Please circulate away her in her way and be an extremely good pal of her.somebody is waiting for you someplace.attempt to discover her.A tru love will happen whilst the two one in all them love one yet another in any different case it could smash in between.

kjast24 · Answer

i guessyou should give her a chane to explain.. because you cant live life and really move on if there are things that are not finish... deal with that matter and let her explain... in that way regardless if you want to end your friendship with her or not atleast you can move on... because you know and have heard her side.

cambiando · Answer

well, i think u should tell her how u feel.......and dont b such a hardass on her either............she has 2 know that u didnt mean it like that, give her another shot........

sweetiepie · Answer

sounds like my friend. I dont talk to her anymore you shouldnt talk to her.

? · Answer

Y'd better be far away from her I think.

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my friend is acting mean and unlike herself should i remain friends with her?

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