Telling people your good news: I want to wait, hubby doesnt...What would you do?

Question

My husband and I found out we are expecting #2 last Thursday. So today I am 4w1d pregnant. We are at odds about when to tell people the good news. (With our first daughter we waited until the first doctor's appointment, but some of my family figured it out earlier because I was quite ill).

So, I think I want to wait to tell people because 1) if something happens I won't have to deal with random people worrying, and 2) it's not so long for the other people and they don't bug me about it all the time. 

My husband wants to tell people now because 1) he doesn't like keeping secrets, 2) if something happens, then they can be supportive, 3) he's really excited and can hardly contain himself. 

We have thought about telling only close family and not everyone, and telling others later, but it's hard to say to someone, "You can't tell anyone else" and think that will stick. Also, where do you draw that line? So it's an all-or-nothing proposition. 

I want to wait until AT LEAST 10 weeks, which is only 6 more weeks. 

Anyone else solve a dilemma like this? Have any advice or insights that might help us come to resolution. 

Thanks in advance

Due March 9th, 2010 · Accepted Answer

It's not the close family members you have to worry about - it's the random acquaintances that will find out and rush up to you and ask you about your pregnancy. I have gone through two miscarriages and had to deal with it - people coming up to me in a grocery store saying "Oh I heard you were pregnant!" when I had just lost the baby. Yes, family will be supportive in the event of a miscarriage but who is going to call every friend, relative, neighbor or co-worker to tell them of the loss? It's inevitable that some people won't find out and you'll end up going through the loss all over again in the middle of a coffee shop, grocery store, or post office.

I would wait until 12 weeks or at least until you see the heartbeat on an ultrasound. We're waiting until I'm at least 12 weeks to tell family (but we'll probably wait even longer).

*Christy* ~ Mommy X 3 ~ · Answer

My husband didn't wait to tell people about our second baby. We found out at like 6:30 in the evening, and our families knew by 8:00! Friends all knew within the week. BUT we made sure to tell them I wasn't far along, and wouldn't be due until July. No one really started bugging me about the wait until May-ish. But I was a freaking house by then, so I understand why, lol! Anyway, congrats!

Kiti · Answer

i waited til about 8 weeks to tell the grandparents and my closest family and closest friends and until 14 weeks to tell Everyone else... I just didnt want to tell anyone because it is my first baby and i was afraid that if i lost the baby ppl would still be asking me about it and that would be too difficult to handle... so i waited til i was almost done w/ the first trimester (the highest risk of miscairage) to tell the vast majority

rylee&#39;smommy · Answer

my husband was the same way..i wanted to wait but he did not... i thought he was gonna wait until i was about 12 weeks but he told his brother and then it was no secret.... so everyone knew when i was 8 weeks...

i was a little upset but i figured its his first child and he was extremely excited so i let him have him fun...

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Telling people your good news: I want to wait, hubby doesnt...What would you do?

4 Answers