Have you ever had these kind of random thoughts?

I stayed an extra fifteen minutes here at work just to read this.

Thank you, you have made a man's night sistah!!

Hello.

Give a man a match, and he is warm for a moment. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Now if we had some Tequila and Duct Tape, this could be a real party.

(Ones I just thought of in the last few seconds)

It's like an itch at the center of your mind and all you have is a pair of salad tongs.

They say, 'you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs', can you break a few eggs without making an omelet?

I went to look up the definition of 'Dictionary' in a dictionary. All it said was, "Really?"

In the spirit of randomness, I looked up "The Game" on wikipedia and how it was started. It came from a Polar Bear Phenomena.

If you want to ask a pimp what the difference between a Smack and a Slap is, don't. The answer will hurt....

If there is a probability of everything occuring, no matter how small the odds, what happens that 1 in 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000th time that I trip and don't hit the ground?

Thank you for the humor and enjoy the random thoughts that bring the world together. Thank you and Good bye.

I locked myself out of the car. A guy comes over with a slim jim, and in three seconds wahla. I thanked him profusely then got in the car and locked the doors. Why? I already know it takes him less time to get my door open than it does for me to remember where I put my keys.

I recently went to the movies alone and found out that I'm the one who talks to the screen as if they can hear me and actually take my advice. The sad thing is I made the realization and proceeded to blame the people in the movie for being so stupid.

A gentleman said 'hello' in the coffee shop, so I answered him back feeling flattered and special. I spent the next few seconds checking myself in the mirror and deciding if he was worth my time. Turns out he was explaining to the person on his phone headset that some woman he doesn't know is talking to him.

Why do you talk with your hands when you're on your bluetooth? Only the people in the car next to you can see how emphatic you are and we mostly think you're crazy.

Insanity is inherited, you get it from your kids.

My kids and boyfriend have all figured out that when I say 'yes dear' I'm not really paying attention to them at all. They have now begun to yes dear, me, in order to get my attention.

If everyone born in a foreign country returned home for vacation, then I would get a seat on the subway.

If you freeze water and it's frozen, then why is it when you squeeze a lemon it isn't squozen?

My mind is always random. It's what makes me unique, or so I thought til I read your question. Now I just feel totally inadequate in my mindless meanderings. lol (o know i had nothing better to say) lol

This was fun. I will have to remember to keep a journal of my fleeting but insightful thoughts. Hope you post some more.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

LOL @ peace and her retards((typo))LOL

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

this is tooooooo true - OMG, im loving you so much right now !!!

I LOVE mario kart - hahahahaha

OMG this was priceless, simply priceless

thank you for making me laugh out loud and not just

lol

hee hee

Ever heard the phrase "ugly as homemade sin"? It always makes me wonder, who is the arbiter of the attractiveness of sin, and why should homemade sin be any uglier than store-bought?

My mate told me last month that my friend's perfume smelled "like a French whore's feet." I was bemused for almost ten minutes, pondering the circumstances under which he might have a) met a French whore (given that he's never been out of the Midwest) and b) had the opportunity to smell her feet.

Why do skinny white chicks dance to "Baby Got Back"? Is this as funny a sight to any one else as it is to me?

Bad decisions DO make good stories. Often funny stories, as well.

I love it when a cop stops me, runs my license and plates and finds absolutely nothing to justify the 30 minutes he spent trying to find evidence of lawbreaking.

Sometimes my children can say something to me, and though I am looking right at them and can clearly hear their voices, no actual words make it to my brain. I firmly believe that this is what allows me to hang on to the tattered remains of my sanity.

No matter what happens in life, a purring cat, a mug of hot tea, and a Dove chocolate bar will make it better, at least a little bit, at least for a while. This applies even to PMS and the death of close relatives.

Smiling

"I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to" -> been there a few times...very scary...with any type of document...

whenever I visit my brother, he's never home and I never have the keys with me...

sometimes I look in the dictionary for a word, and the moment I close it, the translation of the word slips out of my mind...

etc...

LOL. Really, it's not that I don't have anything else to say. Are you related to Stephen Wright?

hehehe... Regards!!!! Hahaha. Thanks for that. :-) I remember pretending and then one day watched someone else trying to fool those around him. I noticed how obvious it was and never again pretended. The only thing I do is have a good hard look in the wrong direction to make sure I don't want it.