SteveT

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'

'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. 'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. 'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!'

Dad ignored me. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed.

At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.

We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal.

It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.'

'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...

Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . ..his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

The Old Man and the Dog by Catherine Moore

'Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!' My father yelled at me.

'Can't you do anything right?'

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.'

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.

Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often.

The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.

The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing.

At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.

Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.

The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympat hetic voices that answered in vain.

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.'

I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed.

Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?'

The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. 'He's funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'

'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'

I looked at the pointer ag

: To: Subject: A lesson learned

Breakfast at McDonald's

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until

the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my

college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology..

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every

human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their

reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello

anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I

went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden

everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside

of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there

standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for

acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching .

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend.

I

realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If

they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up , they had to buy something

He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out

and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging

my every action..

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more

breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a

resting spot.

I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed

gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you.

God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat

down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me,

Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of

the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that t is s when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor,

and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

There is an Angel sent to watch over you.

In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want

watched over.

An Angel wrote:

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will

leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head.

To handle others, use your heart.

God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

Send it back, you'll see why !

A Box of gold

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

With a secret inside

that has never been told

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This box is priceless

but as I see

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The treasure inside is

precious to me

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today I share this

treasure with thee

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's the treasure of

friendship you've

given me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If this co

Two Little Old Ladies

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.

The thin one leaned over and said, Life is so darned boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!

You're on! said the other old lady, holding up a $10.00 bill.

The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

What happened? asked her waiting friend.

I won 1st prize as, Best Dried Arrangement"

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER, SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.'

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED,SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE, I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID...................' WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT.....I'M GETTING A FAX!!'

A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala

where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry'

and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far

over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and

helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,

'What's the matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he

was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,

got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked

into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was

sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,

‘Hey you!'

So the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude.....

How much water did you drink?!!'

Dogs and Gas

A little girl asked her Mom, 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.' 'What's that mean?' asked the child.

'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'

Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block..'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Belle?'

( YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )

The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American!

Mortgage Backed Securities are like boxes of chocolates. Criminals on Wall Street steal chocolates from the boxes and replace them with turds. Their criminal buddies at Standard & Poor rate these boxes AAA Investment Grade chocolates. These boxes are then sold all over the world to investors. Eventually somebody bites into a turd and discovers the crime. Suddenly nobody trusts American chocolates anymore worldwide.

Hank Paulson now wants the American taxpayers to buy and hold all these turd-infested boxes for $700 billion dollars until the turd market returns to normal. Meanwhile, Hank's buddies, the Wall Street criminals who stole all the good chocolates are not being investigated, arrested, or indicted.

Mama always said: 'Sniff the chocolates first, Forrest'.

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX

Results of recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * this is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallwa y you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; Whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me.Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

************************************************************************

Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the

fight started....

*********************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer

would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how

the fight started.

************************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license

to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my

wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have

to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt re vealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That

silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my

Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the

Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten

disability, too'

And that's how the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?'

And that's how the f ight started.....

*******************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things

just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT

HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my

order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started

Ways to Turn Down Men

Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?

Woman: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Can I buy you a drink?

Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?

Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.

Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.

Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.

Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?

Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: Shall we go see a movie?

Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is 'out of your league' bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey guys, watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the 'Star-Spangled Banner' are: 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

BONUS COMMENT

An East Texas couple, both bonafide rednecks, had 9 children. They

went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'. The doctor asked them why, after 9 children, would they choose to do this.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born in North America was Mexican, and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked, What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied,

"Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close

as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.

"

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other

side of the closed bedroom door.

Upon entering the room, he observed his

daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

When he questioned her as

to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old,

unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband!

Please, go away and leave me alone.

"

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the

groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that now familiar buzzing noise

coming from, of all places, the family room.

She cautiously entered that

area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV with

the vibrator next to him buzzing like crazy.

The wife shrieked, "What the hell are you doing?" The husband replied, "I'm

watching the ball game with my son-in-law.