What is My Sister Thinking?

Both. Your sister really likes this guy and feels he's one of her best options at this "late point" in her life. This is how you can help her. Let her know that if this man thinks your sister is worth marrying he won't let money get in the way. She should ask him, "What point do you need to reach to be ready". No matter what answer he gives, tell her to say, "Okay, call me when yo get there. I am going to date in the meantime and if I am still available, I will let you know if I am still interested."

This works on EVERY man - trust me. If he wants her he will start trying to change his tune. If he doesn't, he was just using her.

When he starts changing his tune, email me and I will tell her how to go the next step.

We men are practical. Why commit if not necessary. Why be your best when being half $%%^^ will due?

No- your description is not altogether true, you are essentially dealing with a wayward teenager.

You also have someone who has admitted without her conscious decision to do so that she is willing/actively trying to "catch" him in a relationship by having his baby.

You've admitted to all of us that she is already taking desperate measures and seems to be deluding herself into thinking there's a relationship where there isn't one.

And, you can't blame the guy! This guy has been honest and if he's "not in a place" right NOW where he's at a point to be with someone and take care of himself and her then do you really think he'll be "in a place" to take care of a child he never wanted from a woman he never wanted to be with and that he'll suddenly "come around" to your sister's madness and Marry her so that she can live happily ever after?

You need to have a serious conversation with your sister- and if I were you I would use HER words against her- simply look at what I noticed about one sentence she's used in the past about something that "May Happen" (Pregnancy = His Baby = Our Baby (?)

She is somewhat delusional and in her own little world she walks and plays and talks and she WILL reveal her own madness through her the words she uses when she describes him- especially when it's a story about what may become of the both of them- together.

Keep me updated...

And the problem with people like Shugabea's (?) response is that it plays into the very problem we're trying to avoid... you don't want her to become more deeply entrenched in this man's life- you want her to be free of this obsession.

And the advice doesn't work on all men...

This is tantamount to saying that "no does not mean no..." and it is this instruction which has been offered to Americans which has brought about a sense of entitlement to all Americans, increased stalking as well as the violation of people's right to Privacy and the Right to choose who we wish to choose to be our partners.

The type of manipulation offered in the post above is the type of thinking which leads to pathological anti-social behavior such as stalking & violating the privacy of others.

No... it's a complete sentence.

If she is being led on by his interest in sex then she can cease to be led on by telling him "NO" when he wants to have sex and open a dialogue centered around what "sex" means to each of them in their relationship.

Probably lying to both of you. She's lying about not liking this guy a lot and she's lying to you about it. Maybe your sister is lonely. At 35 you begin to wonder a lot about love and companionship. It's a getting older thing, life doesn't look that way it did at 20, you'll see when you get there. Good Luck.

Does he have an abusive side? Maybe that's it. Some women keep on being with peope they're not interested with because they fear they have nowhere to go or they'll be beaten up by their husbands/boyfriends. Try to ask her why she's with him in the first place? Is it just for sex?

To avoid criticism, she may just be lying to you. Is this man around the same age as her or younger?

hmmm well it seems like shes lying to herself, and the poor thing sounds like she needs major help!

she wants a baby....guy or no guy! possibly. anyway as long as your honest with her she can lie to whoever. hope it works out.

shes lying to herself i think....but shes old so let her make her own decisions.

mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=200909...

to you. she thinks your too young

idk u tell me, do that telekensis ferternal sister thing? i thought all siblings came with that?