Relationship roller-coaster. Help!?

Your problem is that you believe that you NEED to have a partner. The fact is you could survive on your own without him. You just don't want to.

So let me tell you what you want to hear. If you love him enough and hang in there long enough he will change and give you everything you ever wanted! Know that this was a lie! You already know that he's not going to change, especially not for you because he already knows that you "Feel" like you Need him so you are stuck putting up with whatever he dishes out! You are the one who showed him that so you have only yourself to blame. He knows you'd rather come last than to not be with him at all and he's going to play that for all it's worth and then move on.

If you are smart you will think about this logically. You've already been with him 3 yrs. Are you happy? Do you feel secure? Do you trust him? Think he has yours and the baby's welfare in mind? You don't even have to answer this for me because I already know the answer.

I wasted 22 yrs. of my life waiting for my chance to be happy with a man that I ended up catching with a woman who was only 5 yrs. older than our relationship! Believe me, I wish I'd used my head instead of my heart and salvaged all those extra years. I might have been happy most of those years, but by staying I didn't even give myself a chance.

Over the past five years I've had to come to grips with all of that wasted time, the fun that I allowed to be replaced by tears, the destruction of my confidence, self-esteem, pride and dignity. I've had to figure out how I was going to survive on my own, face the world broken, beaten and broke! I lost 85 lbs. in 45 days, was literally sick. My family didn't know how to deal with me. My friends disappeared because they didn't want to get caught in the middle. I literally started over from scratch. Made all new friends, went to work, managed to almost double my income.

The one thing that I know now that I wish I'd always known.... MY own worth! Now I control my life. I determine how I want to be treated and if someone can't handle that then they are welcome to avoid me, etc. Now that I expect more, I get more. Now that I don't tolerate abuse and am not dependent, I am meeting men of a higher quality and have for the most part been treated like the lady that I am. The men who choose to try to treat me like a naive little girl, I simply walk away from. I owe them nothing.

I just hope that it doesn't take him moving on without you or 22 yrs; to learn!

tell him what you said... "I'm happy not having his stress around, but I do hate being home alone, and I'm sorry but I have needs (even though it wasn't all that great, it did the job, ya know?) I mean, like last time we broke up, all of a sudden he is nicer to me, and tries to be more attentive. But what about the job thing, and the respect thing, and help, etc. I need to have a partner, not another CHILD, ya know? What do I do?"

You never once said what was in your heart. Look there and then maybe you can find some answers. Love can overcome a lot of barriers. If you do really love him with all your heart..... and if your working isn't it better that your son be home with his dad than at a daycare/babysitter. There are lot's of dad's being Mr. Mom's out there these's days. You have to decide it's not easy sometimes.. Good luck.

WOW!!! I so would not take him back.You have given him more chances to change than I could. I applaud you for doing your best to try and keep your family together. But I think if he cant change after all the times you've given him chances, I just wouldnt do it anymore. All he is doing is taking advantage of you and you shouldnt have to put up with that especially with all the responsibilities you are already dealing with. I hope everything works out in your favor.

And of course he'll treat you better if you're not with him, and he wants you. But if he wanted you THAT badly, wouldn't he have treated you like gold in the first place? He would have also actually KEPT a job to help support your child together. By the sounds of it you have given him more chances then he deserves. In the end, it's up to you, do whatever is best for your child...don't just settle with someone like that, unless you don't have much respect for yourself.

He's your ex for a reason so stop going back. If you are on again off again obviously the relationship won't work. Time for you to find a real man that can be a good role model for your son and teach your son how to be responsible.

You'll always be raising two children as long as you keep this immature, foolish man around. Honey, concentrate on your happiness, because if you're not happy your child won't be. Your baby doesn't need the stress any more than you do. Kick your loser ex to the curb.

You can fulfill your own needs. Hun, you are settling with this guy. He isn't going to wake up one morning and be a better guy with ambition and sudden goals. He is always going to be like this. He didn't shape up for his son, he let you work pregnant. Sorry hun, but move on, you deserve to be respected and treated better. This guy is a parasite

It sounds like you are not sure you want to commit to him. Seems you keep trying to get away from him and he keeps chasing you all over. Save both of you further heartache and commit to leaving or working it out. I didn't have a pot to piss in when we got married and we have been together 13 years. I'm still a big kid.

Life is too short to go through this much turmoil. Kick the guy to the curb and move on. He is lazy and good for nothing bu