bonnieboobabe

Don't understand what's going on but lately even the older men I've been meeting are anything but gentlemen. Understand that I do frequent bars and nightclubs but that does not mean that I'm looking to pick someone up!! I love the game of pool (am on league) and I love to dance and listen to live, local music. I'd be open to getting to know someone if they approached me respectfully. Not at all interested in completely wasted, vulgar mouthed, men who have no clue how to talk to or treat a lady.

I've had this friend for four years. Actually he's managed to become a lot more to me. He is my dinner companion, my mechanic, my masseuse, and easily my best friend. Had spent the night with him a couple of times when I/he needed a friend or just needed the companionship. When we slept in the same bed we'd both roll over with our backs to each other and go to sleep. But the last few times wasn't like that at all. He cuddled up to and held me all night but never did try anything more. Over the years people have been telling both of us that we belong together, that we are like magnets to each other, etc.

I've always had a lot of male friends and I've never had a problem maintaining boundaries. The line between friendship and more has always been solid and well defined, but now it's gotten blurry and I'm not quite sure what this means, if anything. Help!

When we met he had a gf and I was going thru a divorce. We were friends for around 6-7 months. He broke up with gf and wanted to start dating me. Divorce was final but I avoided him for a couple of months knowing he wasn't over the gf. He was persistent though and when I saw him again he said he knew this was the right thing and he'd stopped drinking! We dated for almost a year. Never had an argument or an unkind word between us. Laughed constantly. Through out the time that I knew him I felt that he wanted to make me emotional. He'd tell me about the spinner he tried to make eye contact with at the bar. Go to Atlanta for 3 days without calling, etc. It wasn't a big deal to me and I trusted him and figured he was having fun with his friend. I fell for this man in a big way. I would have fought for him, just didn't want to fight with him. We'd go swimming in the middle of the night, sit in a hot tub for an hour or so, then go get coffee and to the park at daylight to fly model airplanes. I met a couple of his friends. He met some of my family and he had even mentioned to me that I'd have medical if I moved in with him. A month later his mother died and 3 days after he came over and broke up with me. Said that I cared more for him than he did me and I was too good a person and he didn't want to hurt me more later. I told him he was a good man and that I hoped he'd find everything he wanted in life because he deserved it. Then he broke down and cried. I told him don't worry about it, I'd be alright. 4 days later my Dad died. He was supposed to change my oil while we were dating but never got around to it, so I called to ask if he could. My Dad was being buried out of state and I didn't want to put the miles.... Anyway after he changed the oil, he kissed me (no, he KISSED me! the kind you never forget) and I pushed him away and he cried again. I told him that this was what he wanted and left. This man showed up in my hangouts every week or two for a year and a half and invited me to go home with him. I didn't go for a long time but finally did and he told me that he never cared about me and that I was just a good lay! I left immediately and never went back again. Yet he still continued to come around and run off anyone that seemed to want to get close to me, tried to make me jealous, etc. I just ignored him. Even after he got a gf, he would come into the restaurant with her and get up to go to the bathroom and flirt with me and signal me to call him behind her back. I never called him. He had my number. When I run into him he still acts hostile toward me.

What did I do that hurt him?? Why did he become so hostile months after he broke up with me when we had never had problems before? This has never made sense to me.

Music calms the savage beast, or so, it has been said, but

Can music soften a hardened heart or thin a thickened head?

My ex owes me money and has been ordered to pay it many times. Has been picked up on a warrant for not doing so, spent a week in jail.

Why would he go into a place where he knows that I hang out and am well known and liked? He did this Friday night. We've been divorced for 2 yrs. and in court many times since, never ending well for him. There was a warrant for his arrest and I had him picked up before he got out of the parking lot. The GF ended up going too before it was over.

Situation had to be really awkward for him because I came from a x-mas party and was dressed to kill. Although he was hanging with a well known vocalist in the area and his 28 yr. old blonde GF, no one paid them any attention at all after his 43 yr. old EX-wife walked in and stoled the show! Members of his party were flirting with me! Since the divorce he lost everything. I still succeed and own 3 houses, and he witnessed firsthand the number and level of friendships I've acquired. All nonexistent with him.

He hangs around the bar I go to even though he doesn't drink anymore. I thought it may end when he started dating this other woman, but no, he moved her in 5 doors down from my house. Neighbor says he comes to a near stop in front of my house every time he rides by.

Not so with us. We never had an argument or unkind word between us, laughed all the time, but his ex never quit calling. I never said anything. Cared enough to want him to be where he'd be happiest. He cared enough to break up with me face to face in the most sensitive way possible. "I know I'm going to regret this, but...." He wouldn't admit it was the ex. I didn't try to make him. I think he thought that would hurt me worse, so he told me that he thought I had more feelings for him than he had for me, which I'm sure was a crock. He had requested and arranged to meet some members of my family for the first time on the same night he broke up with me. That wasn't my idea! It never happened. My family cancelled on us. But when he finished his break up speech, I crossed the room to him, laid my hand on his shoulder and said, "____, I know you are a wonderful man, and I truly hope you find whatever it is you need to be happy." HE cried, said I had more class than any woman he'd ever met.