I feel horrible for feeling the way I do?

This is a very sad story. Especially since you were not in a marital relationship. Unless you've been to family court to establish custody of your son, you will always be paying homage to this ex-girlfriend. You'll never be able to move on because this chick is all about the control. You need some tools in your arsenal to combat her toxic ways.

First, you need to establish that you are the father to this child. Get a DNA test and file it with Family Court in your district. Second, find a lawyer who will help you get legal visitation with your son.

Once legal/joint custody is established things will change. You will be obligated to pay child support until your son reaches the age of 18. You'll also be entitled to have someone from Family Court/Social Services facilitate your visitation. This means you can ask for a mediator/counselor to be appointed to your case. He/she will meet your ex at a designated drop off point and accept the child. He/she will then notify you of where they are and you will pick up your son without all the drama your ex is so fond of.

Some other things will also change, including your ex's caretaking of your son. She will be moderated/visited by a Family Court/Social Services appointee every month or week depending on the stipulations of the judge. They will ensure that her child support is going to the care and upkeep of your son.

Trust me, when a control freak finds herself being controlled by outside sources, her toxic behavior toward you will change. She will understand that you can make her life as much hell as she's made yours. You will no longer be powerless. You can start over with some measure of assurance that your son is being taken care of and that you will be a part of his life.

Hope that helps.

Don't feel bad about ur feelings, it's a normal reaction to what ur going through with her. I totally understand for I too was once (long time ago), in such a relationship, almost identical except I had custody of my child. I was a strong person before him but, with the constant putting me down etc...I too eventually believed me stupid/ugly etc..I had no family to turn to but u do, so,please find a way to talk about this with them or find a counselor. There might also be a way for u to change on how the parenting should be, or even on how it can be arranged for u not having to see her when picking up ur child.

Don't resent ur child,(I realize sometime u can't help that when ur in so much inner pain), just love him and in time he will see where the trouble really comes from. Do get help and contact a Legal Aid.

Good luck, better times are ahaid, PRAYERS WILL HELP!

Important: after going through this, I became an even stronger person and u will too, hang in there. I can read btw. ur lines above that, ur a really nice man with a generous heart and as u get stronger, someone nice will come along and help u with all of this. God Bless!

Aaron this is an easy trap to fall into and you don't realise how far you have become entrapped until one day a light goes on in your head and you analize it the way you have laid it out for all of us to read today. I really feel for you. It is not only men that do this to women. Women do this to men all the time ( I am woman by the way). This is a lot more common than what you think.

This woman is a weak person because she has to control everyone and everything around her and she will try and do this to your son as well. I can't tell you strongly enough that the little boy is the innocent one in all this and he will grow to have his own personality. Don't back away from him because of her. Beat the ***** at her own games. She still wants to control you but don't let her see that she can ever do this to you again. She thinks she can because she did this to you during your relationship and she was the one who chose to end the relationship so therefore she feels she can do anything to anyone she likes and get the upper hand.

People like your ex are the UGLY ones inside and outside....it shows. You can bet the guy she left you for is getting any better treatment than you did. It will happen because that is the way that bitches like her are. They are weak little people. Don't let her get the upper hand. Stand up to her.

You have a right to be involved with your son and your son has a right to have you in his life. Don't let her win again. It will give her the shits if you continue to be calm, show strength in character and insist that you see your son.

If she challenges you on this...say to her...well we will see what the courts decide, you have no reason to keep my son from seeing me and I will let the courts know of my concern due to your abusive nature.

Gain character references for yourself now just in case this does go to court. She will try to attack your character and accuse you of all sorts of things. Be prepared for such an attack with your written character references.

There will always bullies like this woman and unless people are prepared to stand up to them, they will continue the push and shove routine that they have been getting away with all their lives. Let her know that you don't and wont put up with what she does any longer as you don't have to, and let her know that this is the case no matter what she tries to pull....tell her it wont work and never let her anger you.....she will hate that she can't get a bite from you. Your son will see you as the better parent when he is old enough to sort out who is right and who is wrong. I hope everything works out for you but I also know you have a long long road ahead and it is not an easy one.

I think what your feeling is perfectly normal especially after going throught hell with that woman....but you have REALIZE wishing you never met her and ur son didn't exist is a WAIST of time because u did meet her and you two already have a son and that's NOT going to change....I recomend going to court and getting legal visitation rights...that way she can't hold him hostage and play as many games with your head

Always remember 'love your son more than you hate her'

I wish you good luck and 1 day u will meet a woman who respects you.

Been there, done that, my friend.

If you have proof that she cheated, you might be able to get sole custody in a divorce.

You are divorcing her, right?

You were married, weren't you?

Well, even if not, maybe you can still get custody. The child is as much yours as hers. Talk to a good lawyer.

Well it sounds like you are bisexual. But that isn't an excuse for cheating. Just don't do it again. And don't hurt your girlfriend by telling her just to get it off your chest. Just resolve never to do it again.

Thats sad...but your son is an individual and he is NOT her......if you really love your son dont let what she does, get to you...why dont you try to get full custody...if she is really irresponsible perhaps she doesnt mind giving him up....have faith and stand up to that devil woman, for your son's sake.....i also have a son and i love him with all my heart...i see him as a person and not part of his dad...gd luck

Well, at least you didn't marry her. Pay your child support and deal with her in court about visitation issues with your son. GET SOME COUNSELING.

The best revenge is living well. Good luck.

HAH u actually let her only give u ten dollars a week of your own money?? man not only are u weak but u are ... i dont even wanna say.

GROW SOME BALLS

You should have wrapped it then if you didn't want to be stuck with a woman. No since to blame your kid though, it's not his fault you couldn't keep it in your pants.