Is Being a Literary Fan Dangerous?

That link is *brilliant*, my day has been made. I thank you.

a) Our reek of pretentiousness is potentially toxic to non-literary fans...and indeed everyone around us.

b) We can cause grievous injuries to the toes of others if we deign to drop our heavy books on them.

c) Let's not forget papercuts!

d) Ignorance is bliss; reading teaches us things; therefore reading is to bliss as sex is to virginity.

e) Dan Brown fans can cause serious upset to those of a religious disposition.

f) What if books have the same effect on behaviour as video games purport to have? There'll be Hamlet-style poisonings across the globe...

How about the ever present problem of absurd expectations? I don't know about you, but I've never yet been able to get into Narnia, no handsome prince or wizard or knight has fallen desperately in love with me, no cute little tollbooth has mysteriously shown up in my room, and I have never met strange, but lovable ladies who take me into space so I could help save the world. That's just the tip of the iceberg. What's truly distressing is pulling your nose out of a book and having to get reacclimated to the real world. It's doubly so when you come to the conclusion you would certainly appreciate, and therefore deserve, Rhett Butler more than Scarlett O'Hara did. Oh, woe is me.

Seriously, now, you could injure your nose if it is stuck too far into the book which you are forced to close hastily to avoid the accusation "you're not listening to me!"

This reminds me of another potential danger of reading: all too often some strange people may consider you antisocial for choosing to read instead of going out with them. Non-readers seem to think book characters aren't genuine people. Imagine that!

Being startled by the phone or doorbell ringing while engrossed in a book can cause a head injury, the severity depending on the weight and shape of said book. Smacking yourself in the face with it when you jump is nearly unavoidable.

If you pace and read, as I sometimes do, there may be a problem with inanimate objects getting in your way. Apparently, they expect YOU to avoid THEM. The nerve.

Lack of sleep is another dangerous side effect of the bookworm lifestyle. It is one most of us cheerfully embrace. After all, how can you go to bed when you've gotten to a really exciting part of the story? It is so odd that many people consider sleep more important than reading.

Clutter is another peril, if you happen to purchase a lot of books. There is the tendency to start shifting things around to make room for your ever growing collection. Money shortage goes hand-in-hand with this.

That article was fascinating. No wonder some people don't like bookworms.

As you can see, my answer to your initial question is an unqualified, "yes!" Fun question, cole i (and some hilarious answers).

The link that you gave, Cole, is probably one of the greatest articles I've ever read.

Well, there are many dangerous things about being a literary fan. Though most of the people before me already named most of them. The person above me listed the one that has happened to me more times than I can count:p

Just yesterday, when I was in school, I was reading Pride and Prejudice during lunch and some idiot spilled chocolate milk all over my book! (Yes, the idiot was me.... but it wasn't my fault!) In my frustration, I yelled out "Crap! You stupid!" mostly to myself. Well, unfortunately, there was this big, bad, mean looking gangster sitting right across from me, and she thought I was talking to her. She raised an eyebrow saying "Just who do you think you're talking to?" words can't describe the fear pulsing through me at that moment. I managed to spit out the following words, "I... this book.... Jane Austen... good book spilled chocolate milk...." Thank goodness a teacher picked that moment to come over and ask if there was a problem, otherwise I would have come home with a black eye and a few teeth missing. That was scary.

So yeah, that and all the other examples that everyone else came up with pretty much sums it all up:)

I don't know if any of my answers would be able to match these other ones you've gotten (they're all so funny!), but in the case of the books in the Hogwarts Library, anyone could be beaten to death by a book if they mistreated it.

It could happen, guys.

And if you looked outside and saw how nice and sunny it was and wanted to be out there, reading, well it might not be a great idea because the pages of the book will most likely catch fire from the intensity of the sun. And then the fire would spread and very bad things (other than your book being on fire, of course) would occur.

Really, it could happen.

And if you happen to be the type of person that loves your books so much that you allow them to be a part of your entire home (i.e. letting them collect on the stairs, floor, etc.) and also happen to have hardwood floors, disastrous things could happen. Such as stepping on a book at the top of the stairs, slipping, and falling to a very awful end at the bottom of the staircase.

Yeah. It could happen.

Edit: I'm adding on to that last one. If you *don't* happen to have hardwood floors, disastruous things could still happen. All it takes is a little faith, trust, and a stack of books sitting next to the steps on which to trip over.

You get a gold star from me, Mister. Nice question. ( :

My answer goes to twilight.

Yeah, I'm a Twihard, and damn proud of it. You can ask me any question about twilight, and i can answer it in .000123 seconds. I'm not as obsessed as I used to be, but basically,

at one point, after reading twilight, it was all that mattered and i loved it more than my family. That is one of the dangers of reading. Obsession. Also, getting into fights with other people. I have gotten into about 34 fights with people about twilight, whether it be a simple debate or a fist fight. That, obviously, leads to trouble. And the pathetic part is, i can't explain it. The books are so wonderfully enchanting, but at the same time, they're poorly written. The second book, new moon, didn't even have a plot... but basically, what i'm getting at is, Twilight will consume your life, that's what I'm sure of. But was it worth it? I think so.

Most of mine seem to come from being too interesting in my book to notice the world around me.

Things like refusing to take your eyes off the page of a book but still performing mandatory functions like going to the bathroom. If you can't take your eyes off the page, you're likely not able to aim straight (I can't claim that problem personally). Health and safety hazard. Or if you were too absorbed to notice the grease fire that's caught while you were cooking (I can claim this one).

How about hiding in the bathroom so you can finish your book? Sit on the karzy long enough and you'll cut off the circulation in your legs; that can't be good for you.

And deadly battles between fans over which book series is better. In this house it's the battle of LOTR and HP. Actual sparring has occured over this.

Edit - After reading this there was something else I remembered. A while ago my husband made the catastrophic mistake of lending out a book of mine without my permission to his friends girlfriend who then battered it to a pulp. That book happened to be a mint condition rarity that I can only find one of on the internet. I've since threatened to insert whatever remains of my book into them. I don't even want to see the corpse, it's too painful. It's like that quote from Out of Africa: "Denys was furious. I said to Denys, 'You wouldn't lose a friend for the sake of a book'. He said ‘No, but he has, hasn't he?’ ".

Fun question, cole, thanks!

Some are:

Getting caught at the library when you're supposed to be on the racetrack with friends.

Skipping parties to read some widely-anticipated novel that's just been released.

Getting whacked on the head after using some sharp-witted comeback line stolen from a book.

And, what just happened ...

Getting caught researching books online when you're supposed to be cleaning you room.

Dangerous indeed, but worth it in the end :D

Luthien

You could cause your peer's heads to explode when you tell them that vampires aren't vegetarians in any sense, that they don't sparkle, that they have no feelings, and that Dracula looked like Christopher Lee.

You could give someone a heart attack by explaining to them that you don't read Stephenie Meyers because you're too busy delving into Bradbury, Hugo, and Hawthorne.

You could traumatize someone by explaining to them that the Phantom of the Opera looked nothing like Gerard Butler. Or you could be traumatized by discovering this tidbit of information yourself. Not that I'm complaining about Gerard Butler.

You could anger rabid fans by attempting to explain why Robert Downey Jr. Looks absolutely nothing like Sherlock Holmes, and why the trailer for the movie shouldn't look like a period retelling of Transporter 3.

You could cause someone's jaw to be injured by telling them that you read Les Miserables--unabridged--at sixteen.

You could be the first to experience death by Mechanical Hound when we start living the plot of Fahrenheit 451.

A great question! With already hilarious answers.

In my own experience my bookworm tendencies have earned me the laughter and jokes of my family. And in one instance a verbal fight in the middle of Wal-Mart over Twilight. I was advocating burning all copies when my sister's friend happened to over hear and proceeded to drool over 'how totally amazing' it was. The poor deranged fool. Lol.

Hooo yeah. High-risk lifestyle right here. If I keep reading instead of being active, I could be at risk for HEART DISEASE.

And after I finished The Road, I nearly caught depression.

Not to mention my near-brush with Swine-Flu after importing a book from Mexico.

Book-reading while driving is also potentially dangerous. Especially if you're reading Rand.

Carrying a lot of books in your backback can also make you a prime candidate for drowning. If you ever fall into a river or something, there's no way you're going to be swimming out of that one.

Carrying too many books can also lead to spinal mal-alignment.

Bringing your holographic copy of "The Andalite Chronicles" around your friends could even lead to something called "ridicule".

Holographic covers are also dangerous in the way they reflect light. Let's say you're de-fusing a bomb and the cover shines in your eyes and you cut the wrong wire.

Opening old books can cause sneezes which may gross people out and cause them to beat you in retaliation.

I would flat-out avoid the things if I were you.