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How do I help my bf threw a tough time his dad passed away?

My boyfriends dad passed away a little over a year ago while he was on the job waiting for his semi truck to get loaded. My boyfriend was in jail (for bad checks ) at the time of his passing and feels bad about not being there to support his son and his mother threw this tough time lately hes been having a lot of break downs crying and so on that he let his dad down for not being there for his mom and son and at the funeral his uncles told his mother that it was all her fault he had a heart attack the stress from her having cancer and almost passing away her self 3 months prior I dont know what to do what to say I listion to what he says and hold him but the break downs are getting worse and more frequent his birthday is next month and i know its going to hard what can i do to help?

Update:

thank you

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago

    first of all your boyfriend and his Mom need to know that they are not at fault for his death. Her cancer was probably a stressful time for all involved and not just your bf's Dad. Your bf's Dad could not have predicted his time of death anymore then your bf's rude and disrespectful uncle's. Your bf needs to know that he will never be at fault for his death or for not being there. he can't see into the future after all. Just be supportive. These trials are hard on a relationship so keep that in mind. if he is not over it in the near future or at least coping with it better then he really needs to see a psychologist.

  • 1 decade ago

    The only thing you can really do is to be there for him when he falls. Death is a horrible thing to happen to anyone close. Times are hard but you just gotta push through. Everyone has to die sometime, so just go with the flow and feel it out.

    I went through this sort of thing when my best friend committed suicide and I was the person people blamed because I supplied the alcohol that was found in his body.

    You just have to be there to support him.

    Sorry for the loss though.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry to hear this. But, you're doing a good job. You sound like a good girlfriend, dependable. Just, talk with him a lot, let him know that his dad doesn't blame him and that it's okay to cry for him. But, don't let him grieve for too long. He'll never be able to go on through life normally. Oh, let him know, that his dad will always be there with him. In life, spirit, and memory. (:

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    get a good job to help him out if u care that much.

    maybe talk to his mom and try to talk to him together. not much u can say.... cept it's not ur fault but i don't know how much that'll mean to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    all i can say is just be there for him. your comfort will help him in the long run.

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