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I need critique, and possibly some help naming this?
Make me feel like I’m something better than nothing.
Like I matter somewhere to someone more loving.
I’ve got nothing to show for the life I’ve lived.
‘Cept some empty pockets and the love that I give.
It’s not much till you need it and you realize it’s yours.
Then you’ll realize you’ve wasted it but you’ll feel no remorse.
You’ve taken it for granted. And you feel no shame,
No grief in the pain that you’ve caused from your game.
I’m a pawn on your board of black and white checker
A piece to be played when you’ve got nothing better.
You’ll use me once, twice, then cast me away.
Then you’ll pull me back into this game that we play.
You want to feel like you’re something better than nothing.
Like you matter somewhere to someone more loving.
You’ve got so much to offer for what you’ve been through
You’ve got the charm, the smile, the money too.
You can get anything you want, but you choose to stay.
Like you enjoy the pain that’s caused from our game.
I’ve taken you for granted, I feel no shame,
No grief in the pain that I’ve cause from my game.
You’re a chip on my table of green and white velvet
In a game I play where I raise the steaks when I can help it.
I’ll gamble with you life, your love, and your pain
Cause I’m on a streak, the more you lose, the more I gain.
I’ll take you for granted, and you’ll do the same,
Cause there’s pleasure in the pain that’s caused by our game.
4 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It is one of the deeper ones I have seen on here. It is nice. You name it though. You deserve to name it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Someday this game will become all too real,
You'll find that you get back everything you feel.
There is a pattern being constructed
Your mind has been corrupted
By something yet unnamed.
You should both be ashamed.
Ir you rally want love you must give it;
Your life evens out in how you live it.
I only advise thus because of my heart...
Words such as yours rip it apart.
- 1 decade ago
My first thought was Sadomasochistic tendencies
Then realized you were not searching for any kind of remedies
Who are we, to set your norm?
Knowing we all don't fit the standard form
So no more words to written nor to be spoken
No need to repair, what you believe not to be broken
Source(s): Original thought - a_phantoms_roseLv 71 decade ago
This is very good! I would say" "on your board of chess, A piece to be played when you have nothing left"
Name:Something Better