Relationship with an alcoholic?

As a recovering alcoholic of 19 yrs., I can just say it's a progressive disease. It's a killer disease, hopefully not taking anyone else along w/him! He is NOT going to stop until he reaches his bottom or wants to stop. I highly would suggest to you to go to a FEW Alanon mtgs. Just go & listen to what they have to say. A better group of people you couldn't ask for to help & support you. I also belonged to Alanon as I too was married to an alcoholic. I've said MANY times, AA saved my life, Alanon saved my sanity. Call the 800# for alcohol in the yellow pages & find the next closest mtg. to you & PLEASE GO. I can promise you you w/NOT regret it. You have nothing to loose, everything to gain. Unfortunately, if he's going to keep drinking, I can promise you it's going to keep getting worse. I finally had to accept things were NOT going to change in my case, & after hanging for 12 yrs., I had to choose to let go, go my own way & he his own way. Please tho do give Alanon a try...I wish you all the best...:)

You can't help an alcoholic. Only he can get the help he needs and make himself stop drinking.

You can't use the sickness and in health vow when it comes to alcoholism. Yes your husband is sick, but he doesn't have to be an alcoholic. He can choose to go to AA and stop drinking. He chooses to drink, even if that means loosing everything good in his life. You, his marriage, his job, everything! If you stay with him, you become his enabler and he will destroy your life right along with his own.

Leaving him is the right decision. Break all ties with him or he will just manipulate you into coming back to him again with another promise not to drink anymore. If you don't walk away and never look back, you will end up throwing away your youth and the good life you deserve to have.

1. He must admit that he is an alcoholic.

2. He must enter a 5 day detox program

3. He must enter AA and attend it diligently and work the program in earnest.

After he does this and 6 months have passed tell him that you will make up your mind THEN and decide if you are staying or leaving. If he refuses any of these things then you leave now. If he seeks help you should probably attend Al Anon in order to prepare yourself.

regrettably he's not tryn 2 do something approximately his 2 addictions. If u've been dating him for 4 yrs and he nonetheless has those themes why r u there? U did no longer say if u or him grow to be seekin medical care. U have 2 SMALL young little ones n a xtremely undesirable atmosphere. Have u ever heard that sayin" little ones study what they stay." Is that the effect u choose for 4 ur young little ones? yet of course they have been livin if now 4 yrs. C'mon if u do no longer think of lots of no longer the rest a minimum of choose for if this is a atmosphere u choose for u young little ones 2 b n. And so some distance as his daughter is worried, u c she do no longer know u bcuz he do no longer. U've been n that dating for yrs, and on suitable of bn disrespected his lazy *** do no longer even paintings. what is going to it take 4 u 2 comprehend that u r n a poor, and tormenting dating...4 him 2 b under the impression of alcohol and rigidity ur young little ones someplace, or 4 him 2 get violent w/u or ur young little ones. C'mon u r a mom...u or ur young little ones do no longer deserve that.GET OUT NOW!!!!

Laurel, go your own way. It sounds to me he has not yet hit rock bottom, wrecking a company truck will not do it. He has to admit total powerlessness towards alcohol and truly wants help. If that be the case, tell him to try AA. If he is willing, then you should consider attending Al anon meetings. It is for children and spouses of alcoholiocs. AA works for me. If he does not want help, then you should leave before things get really bad and it has that potential.

Yes, alcoholism is a horrible disease. It is powerful, cunning and baffling.

To answere you question, no the pain will never stop. Thank God you dont have kids. My ex was an alcoholic and drug addict. Well finaly we got a divorce and I got custody of our 3 boys. Funny thing is that loosing her children was not enough. She got pregnant again and did meth while she was still pregnant. Now she has lost her new child. I feel bad for her, but i feel horible for the kids. They dont know why they cant see their mom all they know is she hasnt been arround. Try getting him to go to AA. He probably wont but you should try if you love him. If that dosnt work then go. I tried to stick it out for eight years. Dont worry about what will be beter for him think about what will be beter for you.

My GF suffered with her drunk husband for like 15 years before she got the strentgh to divorce him.. she says one day she just stoped worrying about him.. and focused on her and the kids.. it's like the the clouds cleared from the skies...

EDIT: I'm not saying leave so quickly, I'm against that kind of stuff... but just be aware of what could happen, and don't get pregnant till u figure it out..

There is no relationship with an alcoholic.

The alcohol has taken the place of the companion.

The bond is broken.

Addictions are demons that separate us from truth.

You are free to go.

There is no bond

He has chosen his companion.

There is nothing you can do.

It will always hurt, unfortunately, until he turns himself around. Don't enable him. Seek support with AA, they have groups for family members/spouses of alcoholics.

He's responsibile for his life. Don't make it your responsibility. It is fortunate that you recognize you need to make changes in your life. You can't fight his disease...he is the only one who can. Live your life as a whole person unfettered by the chains of his disease.

Good Luck! Time will heal you.