Can You Answer This Question That Nobody Seems To Have A Good Answer For?

I agree with you. I'm a devout catholic, but it greatly disturbs me how we can have a marriage annulled,....and how so many easily divorce.

It seems very hypocritical to me, and yes, i can admit that.

i view marriage as a one-time deal,....others don't. I think it's too easy to just go get a divorce when it doesn't work out. I can understand in certain circumstances where say spousal abuse/domestic violence, etc,.....

It sickens me when young couples marry and take vows before God....then break them after a short while. I can also easily understand how this makes my religion look, and I'm not very proud of it. All i can do is encourage the ones I know to work through it, and try to remain faithful to their spouse , and the vows they took.

It is easy to do in society but not so in the bible. In fact Jesus spent a fair bit of time on this in Matthew 19 explaining that when the two are joined as one flesh - this is not to be undone. Even when there is a divorce (which was a concession given by Moses - not really something God initiated) it must only be in the case of adultery and anyone who marries the person who walked out has entered a relationship of adultery in Gods eyes.

The fact that modern day governments view divorce with less regard than a parking ticket is a sign that the world has strayed from God's way and the hurt it brings to this generation and particularly the children involved is immense.

Only the first marriage is sacred unless a partner dies. All else is adulterous. The partner that was wronged may remarry but not the one who brought about the divorce through adulterous behavior. There are no other grounds for divorce. This is in Jesus own words.

That's a good question actually.

I have no idea what the scripture says about multiple marriages. I would say that each time you make a promise to someone and to the Lord that it is a sacred bond - no matter how many times you do it. If you break the bond you have sinned. But all people can be forgiven.

People who marry and divorce like that are either not saved themselves or are marrying people who are not saved. They are not growing together. Marriage is sacred and people who don't buy into it with all they have and totally give themselves to one another are missing out.

I would also challenge the fact that it is easy to undo the bond. Both physically and spiritually speaking it can be difficult - I watched my parents go through it.

But I think your right - you won't find any concrete answers on that. I think God only approves of the marriages that do exactly what He says they should do. And it's not like we have a list of requirements from God telling us what a marriage is to be and if we don't do x, y, and z then God doesn't recognize our marriage - but the Bible does give us traits of what a proper marriage looks like. That's the best answer I have.

Thanks!

Your question is legitimate, and goes to the heart of the trouble today. Why exactly is it seemingly OK to re-marry after deciding the first, second, and third "trial" marriage(s) was/were not forever? Why does a society that purports to uphold marriage as a sacred trust allow easy divorce on grounds of "incompatibility"?

It is because we decided a while ago that a divorce decree is more worthy than a marriage certificate; that personal happiness was more worthy than the social good of an intact family.

I would like to see divorce limited to cases where people can prove alienation and hurt, not simply state that they have fallen out of love. A promise should be respected and a commitment honored.

That said, gay marriage is an oxymoron; there is no family in a purely sexual union, no matter the hope for adoptions. I would prefer legal unions for gays with the same rights as married couples. I dread that gay marriage will simply become a new subset from which divorce lawyers will grow richer.

I think the problem you point out is because marriage is supposed to be sacred, but it doesn't have to be.

To many people it is a sacred bond, but many have an attitude that it is not so special.

Your point (I'm sure) is that many churches are pretty lenient about divorce and remarriage and how they don't really honor it as sacred when they say they do. Of course at the same time most churches take a hard line on how gay marriage is not allowed because it breeches the sanctity of God's plan for marriage.

Churches took a hard line on marriage in general years ago, but the sexual revoloution and other social changes have pressured them to conform to new attitudes about relationships. Churches have to bend to the will of society if they want to engage them. Just look at the history of any religion and see how it adapts to the times. Churches are supposed to be Godly, but they still always have one foot in the material world.

I don't see why anyone would not answer. It's really simple.

God made laws for mankind to live by. Man decided to live according to man instead of according to God. I will not quote Scriptures only my knowledge of them.

God said He hates a divorcing. If one has to be divorced it is ONLY for adultery. That is the only reason for a divorce in His eyes. He does not like a Monday wedding and a Friday divorce. The only way a person that is divorced can marry in His eyes is if the x-spouse has an affair.

As for how many times a person can get married, there is no set # of times. If a spouse dies the living spouse is able to marry. If a divorce happens and it is for adultery then the spouse can remarry.

Divorce is frowned upon in the church so getting married is a scared bond by church standardss, but getting divorcedd doesn't go through the church. Thatgoess through the local court house in which church and state areseparatee.

I also think that if the husband or wife are cheating and plan on leaving, then what was supposed to be that "scared bond" was nothing more than a lie, fake, and obviously was not taken seriously andisn'tt really scared.

My answer is from a Christian viewpoint, and incorporates traditional understandings -- but it may seem radical in some ways.

1. Don't confuse civil marriage with a sacred bond. For example, the Catholic Church has its very own understanding of what constitutes the sacrament of holy matrimony, which is often quite different from the legal or civil status of a marriage. Even if a couple is divorced by a judge in Connecticut, the Catholic Church may still see them as married -- unless in an annulment proceeding it becomes clear that the relationship did not embody or live out what "holy matrimony" means for Catholics.

So, your example of the couple who marries on Monday, divorces on Friday and remarry different people the next week only apply on a civil level.

Why would a state make such "easy divorce, easy marriage" laws? I don't know. Ask your legislators.

2. I think the Catholic and Orthodox traditions have a valid point when they talk about whether a relationship is validly "matrimony" or not.

Not every marriage is "in the Lord" as Paul says.

You see, ideally, "holy matrimony" is *supposed* to embody the eternal love of Christ and his Bride the Church. That would mean a man and a woman who live out life as Christ did -- serving and caring for, encouraging and guiding one another, in respect and true love. Ideally, that kind of faithfulness is supposed to last a lifetime, so that it fully embodies the kind of eternal love God has.

Honestly, I think it takes *time* for most couples to *grow into* that kind of relationship!

Which means that most "marriages" in the beginning are only *attempts* to live out "holy matrimony" as a marriage "in the Lord".

Some succeed and grow into the full sacrament of matrimony.

Others do not succeed -- whether because of immaturity, inability, or plain stubbornness, it just doesn't "take". The relationship may be successful in various ways -- children, finance, social respectability -- but it may not *mutually* embody the mature Love of Christ.

In such latter cases, it is a civil marriage, but not a sacramental reality.

3. If there is a true marriage "in the Lord", if one partner strays for a while into the arms of an executive secretary or personal trainer, they will regret their actions and repentantly come back home to the one whom they *really* love and are committed to, and one hopes forgiveness will be present.

4. You did not directly ask this, but I think that a same-sex relationship may also embody Divine Love. Not the love of Christ and his Bride, but rather the eschatological Life in the Spirit, two Spirit-filled men or two Spirit-filled women may embody Love that never ends. In the age to come, heaven and earth will pass away to be re-made, and there will be no more reproduction. But Love *will* endure forever -- and two men or two women are perfectly able to embody *that* Love which is not based on the accomplishment of reproduction, but simply on the sheer Joy of Loving.

In this way, husband and wife embody one kind of Divine Love -- that of Christ and the Bride.

And two men or two women embody another manifestation of Divine Love -- that of New Life in the Spirit in the age to come.

Both relationships are living icons.

What the state *calls* a same-sex relationship, again, is indifferent to the Church. I'm fine with calling it gay marriage or something else, as long as the rights of both relationships are upheld.

5. To make it Trinitarian, there is also a third holy state, namely, holy celibacy, which embodies total reliance upon the Love of God the Father, and no human relationship, to meet one's needs. But that would not affect civil laws about marriage.

I hope this answer proves of some interest.

God does not allow divorce unless the woman is unfaithful to the man. If he divorces his wife and marries another woman for any reason other than infidelity by the woman, then both the man and his new wife will be adulterers. Also, the first wife must not remarry, even though her husband has left her he is still considered her husband in the eyes of God. If the wife remarries, then she will be an adulterer along with her new husband.

Its about the baby boomer generation.

They lost Vietnam and the Peace movement, so the sexually inept took over and create the new Right.

Hypocrisy is the new drug.It is a reaction to the sexual revolution.

They only did the gay marriage bans AFTER the divorce rate went over 50%!

America has become a playground for anti-social sociopaths. And we better grow up before its too late and China own us!