need advice about a single mother?

I find it excruciating to go out and have fun without my boys (ours actually). It's not that much fun really. Plus we agree they are too young, both under 4.

I know people recommend to couples to get time on their own every now and then, and sometimes it sounds like a good idea. I guess that you could offer to pay for a sitter and whisk away your girl friend to a nice restaurant. Maybe the daughter can stay with relatives for a week-end, having fun with cousins.

One day, we'll get a babysitter and go to the cinema. We've been saying that for the last 4 years!

None of those answers were cold and bitter! A mother feels guilt, it's a natural thing, whether the child is in day care or she is out or working or whatever. Don't worry it will get better but it can take a lot of time. Enjoy her daughter too! And have fun when the daughter is in bed!

I don't think she should feel guilty about having fun without her daughter being there.

It's not as if she's neglecting her daughter by having a night out on her own, once a week or so.

I probably wouldn't have coped so well with being a mum if I didn't get some time to myself, and didn't have my nights out with my friends. It makes me more relaxed if I'm able to go out and have fun.

Have you tried just booking something (like a nice restaurant), then telling her it's booked for Saturday night, get someone to watch her daughter, and you're taking her out?

It's a package deal Honey. If you are serious about her, you need to realize that it is going to be a "family" situation. Although, it would be worth a discussion about having a monthly date night. This way you get your special time with her and maybe her daughter can have a special night with another family member, a movie or skating, something fun for her. You have to be considerate of her feelings for her daughter though.

well maybe you can find some thing to do that you can bring her daughter along with you. and if you wanna be alone alone then suggest a very trusting friend or relative to watch her for you guys to go out. tell her its not like your planning a weeks trip or anything you just want a few hours of her to yourself :)

Why not suggest a date night once a week? surely she can't have a problem going out for some 1-on-1 time with her boyfriend once a week.

Sorry Daniel, kid comes first. Do something fun with both of them and then, as mentioned already, after bedtime, have some time alone.

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depends how old the kid is but just reassure her that she would not be a bad parent for having some fun just the two of u.

Wait till the baby goes to sleep.