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My daughter is dating a guy with a questionable step dad?
My daughter have been dating this guy, Cody who is 24, a mixed martial arts fighter and kick boxer and also owns a large aquarium store that also do pond construction. He also runs a side business out of his own home, selling various tea mixes on line.
Cody seems pretty decent so far. My daughter seems to be totally in love with him and is totally open with him which I’ve never saw her being that way with other guys before.
However what really bothers me is, this Cody’s step father is rather questionable. His step father is a neighbor of a coworker of mine who regularly host a card game night. This man was a tunnel rat before he got into SOG during Vietnam War. After he got out, he made some attempt to box and kickboxing professionally and worked as FBI agent for a long time before he met Cody mother.
Cody was only 3 at the time. They eventually have a son and daughter. But he was in and out of their life due to job until Cody was ten. That’s when he finally settled down and works for local police department.
From what my coworker told me, he told me to keep eyes on Cody for in case he show any exhibition of his step father’s bad side. He told me a lot of things about their relationships. He told me that Cody could end up being like his step father but he hope Cody got lot of his mother (whom is very sweet and caring) good side.
Cody’s step dad was very strict on some subject and very loose on others. Once Cody got caught sneaking into a abandoned factory and was taken to detention center. Step dad didn’t even say a word besides telling him that he’d have to deal with it by himself.
On other hand, when Cody set part of the house on fire playing with a gun powder. Cody thought he got off easy when his step dad didn’t do a thing only to found himself woke up in middle of the night and dumped in a forest 30 miles away and being told to find his own way back home and to think about what it’d be like to be homeless.
Once when Cody was fifteen, he and couple of his friends got drunk and stole his friend’s father’s sport car and totaled it. His mother and step dad nearly divorced because his step dad nearly sent Cody to hospital after beating on him for this.
But he also have done something that is rather questionable such as letting Cody work for a year then help him with paying for his very first out of the country trip by himself for the summer. Cody turned seventeen at the time he was in Europe.
Since I don’t know Cody that well, I can’t help it but feel a bit uneasy about him. I already can see he doesn’t tolerate people too well, is usually rather aloof, hardly show any emotions, extremely cutthroat when it comes to business, and other things that his step dad also exhibited. To make things worse, Cody doesn’t seems fond of children at all!
But my wife says that Cody show lot of his mother’s side toward her and my daughter and is incredible gentle and loving toward my daughter. He also never tried to stop her from living her life. She even told me that once when my daughter told Cody that she’s thinking about doing student exchange program, Cody encouraged her to and helped her look into it.
Should I be worried about him?
4 Answers
- ABCDLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Frankly, while his father was severe, he provided discipline for a difficult child (stealing and setting the house on fire!) and demanded that he grow into a good, reponsible man. Would that more fathers took their jobs so seriously! The beating is unfortunate and I would look out for signs of violence or controlling, but it doesn't sound like dad was controlling, just demanding.
As for the trip to Europe, that's pretty awesome. My parents made me work for them and sent me to developing countries to learn about the world. As a result, I have a kind of self-confidnece that is rare in a woman.
I say WAY TO GO DAD. You should be thrilled, not worried. People who coddle their sons make life hard for the wives of their sons. People who teach them to be responsible are too few indeed.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Worry, no...it solves nothing. concerned enough to keep a wise eye on the situation, yes. I'm not saying that genetics does or doesn't play a part in Cody's actions in the future. But he has a clear choice in which he has chosen to get rid of these negative feelings by kickboxing. If he stops this, he will take his anger out in other places...perhaps your daughter. Cody could use EMDR therapy to get at the place to where he is so damaged quickly.
- Precious GemLv 71 decade ago
No. Your daughter can bring out the gentle caring side of
him and help him in other ways. He sounds like a nice
enough guy. Please take the time to get to really know this
guy before passing judgment. Take all gossip with a grain
of salt. I am sure Cody's mother instilled enough caring
abilities in her son to make him a gentleman. The step-dad
had a military mentality which can be a bit rough around
the edges. Sounds like he was trying to raise Cody to
endure because life can be harsh.
Source(s): a mom - 1 decade ago
He seems like a decent kid. He exercises (MMA is a great workout). And he seems smart with his money. Moreover he seems like he wants to work for his money, instead of scamming people. That’s huge. As far as the step father vs Son stuff/ I think you have very little to worry about. organized and straight laced is not a bad dea. And if your daughter isn't getting hit, or lying about her black eyes or bruises, seems like a nice enough guy. One warning though. As someone who went through this ordeal: Tell your daughter to use protection. They are not married, and don't have to spend the rest of their life's together. But if they get pregnant... well that's hard to walk away from. Good luck