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What do you think of this short one?
Dream Girl
3 Nov 2009
I know you're out looking
For me as I'm searching for you.
Surely we'll find one another
And time will stand still when we do.
So come to me in dreams tonight
My hope, it lies in you
To save me from the empty space,
Like only a dream girl can do.
There never will be another
If only your love remains true
After my eyes open,
But you're gone and the dream's over.
The 6 syllable line moves from the first line, to the second, to the third- and can be read as part of the whole, or taken as a separate thought that gives hope after eyes open.
5 Answers
- No MoreLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Kind of reminds me of a poem I wrote. I titled it "Just A Dream".
Looking for a dream love, this poem says it all... except, dreams can come true. :)
I like it and understood your way of writing it.
- ☆BB☆Lv 71 decade ago
I think you've found your muse! It's a lovely poem.
This is definitely a happier poem (though the ending has that tone of "maybe" in it...). Keep on keeping on, Chris! :) I hope it comes true for you.
- itchyLv 41 decade ago
I wish each line kept the 8-count meter. Was there subtler measurement?
Aside from that, I enjoyed it. Beautiful, purposeful ending
- Anonymous1 decade ago
That was a very beautiful poem with a very beautiful message.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think it's a bit dull.
