Catholics, why would a widowed Catholic decide to live with her second "husband" without marrying-for 20 years?

No, it has nothing to do with the Catholic view of the afterlife, and everything to do with this woman's decision to stop practicing Catholicism.

For the record, widows and widowers are free to marry again. There's nothing wrong with it.

I am only guessing, but a lot of these relationships have to do with the fact that the woman is left with a good pension, which she looses of she remarries. The widows of career military people are notorious for never remarrying. I have heard of some swearing fidelity before God, but not following through with the civil ceremony because of the financial impact.

She's 90 years old! Who cares? I'll bet she thought she wouldn't even see 90 when she was 70. Leave her have her last years "in sin"- at that age there are so few pleasures left.

Besides... for 15 out of those 20 years, I'll bet they weren't living in sin anyways.... Viagra is only a very new discovery.

I'm not Catholic, and I have an earthly answer. A lot of older people don't remarry because they stand to lose $$ if they do. Or they don't want anyone else to inherit their money if they have adult children from the first marriage.

at her age it is possible to live as brother and sister without being intimate . so therefore no sin, and that is catholic teaching,

that way of life may suit her partner as well

I would say she needs to go confess her sins. That is if she is still Catholic.

Err....that makes them over 70 starting out. I doubt there was much sinning going on.

You should check with her, it was her choice. Most Catholics I know would not act like Protestants who would want to do the thinking for you.

Maybe she has given up on Catholicism. A Catholic can grow strong in his or her faith by praying the rosary regularly. Similarly, we can help them by praying rosaries for them. The rosary is God's preferred means for obtaining conversions.

"The rosary is THE WEAPON." -St. Padre Pio

"The rosary is the scourge of the devil." -Pope Adrian VI

See the following promises.

The rosary is explained here:

http://www.sancta.org/rosary/how.html

The fifteen promises of Mary to Christians who recite the rosary:

1. Whoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the Rosary shall receive signal graces.

2. I promise my special protection and the greatest graces to all those who shall recite the Rosary.

3. The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against Hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies.

4. It will cause virtue and good works to flourish; it will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God; it will withdraw the hearts of men from the love of the world and its vanities and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.

5. The soul which recommends itself to me by the recitation of the Rosary, shall not perish.

6. Whoever shall recite the Rosary devoutly, applying himself to the consideration of its sacred mysteries, shall never be conquered by misfortune. God will not chastise him in His justice, he shall not perish by an unprovided death; if he be just, he shall remain in the grace of God and become worthy of eternal life.

7. Whoever shall have a true devotion for the Rosary shall not die without the Sacraments of the Church.

8. Those who are faithful to recite the Rosary shall have during their life and at their death the light of God and the plenitude of His graces; at the moment of death, they shall participate in the merits of the saints in Paradise.

9. I shall deliver from Purgatory those who have been devoted to the Rosary.

10. The faithful children of the Rosary shall merit a high degree of glory in Heaven.

11. You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the Rosary.

12. All those who propagate the Holy Rosary shall be aided by me in their necessities.

13. I have obtained from my Divine Son that all the advocates of the Rosary shall have for intercessors the entire Celestial Court during their life and at the hour of death.

14. All who recite the Rosary are my sons, and brothers of my only Son, Jesus Christ.

15. Devotion to my Rosary is a great sign of predestination.

God bless!

Dave

one of the many reasons I fled Catholocism