Is This New Verse Understandable Enough To The Average Reader?

Question

This is from a long, narrative poem I'm working on. But I'm wondering if how this is being expressed will be understood enough by the average reader of poetry? So, your help please?

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And how can we not mock
a city so foolish

as to squander a once grand and noble profession,
trading art and integrity for a third Rolls-Royce,
while convincing the world the puppet is more worthy
of our attention than the play, or the manikin 
on the runway is a significant second choice?

Thank God there are a few
visionary mavericks

who eschew the celebrity dribble to address
the Wallace Beerys of the world found in all of us.

(It's from a new work in progress of mine. I may change the last two lines because many won't know who Wallace Beery was or how his name would apply today. here are two alternative lines. Which would you feel gets the message across better?)

who eschew the celebrity dribble to respect
the wonders of cinema for all the rest of us.

Alberich · Accepted Answer

I frankly prefer the first; even though many if not most wouldn't know to whom you refer - it, simply "sounds" better, to me.

     Maybe not a good enough reason to retain it; but anyhow, that's my opinion.

                                                                  Alberich

Boomer Wisdom · Answer

I remember Wallace Beery. Barely. My parents loved his work.
However, people younger than their 50's will not be able to connect.

There once was a man who would be King; but resisted. Younger people will not know of whom I speak: his name was George Washington. Sad to say, but they don't know such concepts and won't be part of the communication. Communication with the audience is always Job #1.

The second version is probably more useful, though less sharp.

I believe I perceive the import of your poetry. Keep up the good work.

Jack Herring · Answer

I am not a fan of poetry, 
actually I do not like it at all, 
so don't ask me what I am doing here. 
I feel if you have something to say,
say it straight out,
If I need to think about it
it tires my brain
however I do remember Wallace Beery, 
a most likable bad guy, 
a bad guy with compassion 
a bad guy with a heart
a bad guy impossible to hate.

Blessed__ · Answer

Yes

The Mighty One · Answer

Sounds terribly pretentious.

But to write in a pretentious way about that which is pretentious is to merely include yourself as the target of your scorn.

If you were to write about the illiterate and uneducated, you would aim not do so in an illiterate and uneducated way.

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Is This New Verse Understandable Enough To The Average Reader?

5 Answers