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The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Can you think of any other comments to add to?

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run..

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. However, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly...

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they

(1) eat less

(2) don't ask for money all the time

(3) are easier to train

(4) normally come when called

(5) never ask to drive the car

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people

(7) don't smoke or drink

(8) don't want to wear your clothes

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .

Update:

To James T: (Cut & Paste....lol)

13 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Love this post, I am still LOL read it out-loud to my brother, he printed it off...

    Also, you can add to the bathroom scenario thing.

    The toilet paper is there for me to stay clean, it is not a roll toy, not to be pulled and unrolled down the hall.

    Yes, Nikki my new Akita pup did this, it was funny, but was whole new roll, what a mess....all off the roll and the end not broken, left hanging by the end of the roll.

    Our babies are just that, aren't they just amusing...

  • Oh Papaw! That is beautiful. My cats are my family and my 3 kids brother and sister. I am laughing and smiling. My cats try to race me on the steps all the time! And the bathroom, if one gets in there they do all you say and look anxiety stricken at the same time, yet they dash in there when they know I'm going in. It's so silly.

    Plus, people who get upset about their fur because it gets on their clothes. I never thought about it like that, thanks for the laugh...it's true!

    I LOVE this question. I read it to my husband and he and I had a good time with it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I like it and I agree with quite a lot. I would also add for my dog: why are you walking in front of me but also looking behind you so that you can see where you need to follow me to. You can just walk behind me and it's a lot easier that way.

  • 1 decade ago

    Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    Dont spend hundreds of dollars telling a shrink how you messed them up as a kid

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  • Dizz
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Hi Papaw :)

    I love the pic of you *smiles *

    That's so funny .

    I have no dogs BUT cats have always fascinated us .

    They adopted us & we just served them .

    Cats own us & not us them .

    Happy Eve dear friend .

    D :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Amen brother, Amen

  • 1 decade ago

    I love my pets and agree with what you wrote but Damn dude! Are your fingers blistered from all that typing?

  • 1 decade ago

    That covers all the bases I think,whats to add?

  • 1 decade ago

    No !

    & Excuse me~

    I think I just heard my coo-coo alarm go off.

  • 1 decade ago

    fantastic lv.. now if i go woof. woof when do i move in .... sounds a good life...

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