Women's opinion, should I dump her?

Question

I'm very close in dumping her, don't misinterpret me of asking yahoo as being stuck. I merely would like opinions and maybe sharing their own stories to answer my question: Is it possible that this girl is really faithful, yet cautious and very friendly/social type?

I'm in a relationship with this girl, she's about 19. Her lifestyle revolves around a Cal State University, semi-party, and likes to go out and drink with friends-- or at least go out on her free time. Thats a taste of her personality.

As for our relationship, it is semi-long distance, about 40 minutes drive. But her family and close friends are from my side of the map. She comes up to visit me at least once a week, as I do the same for her. I broke up with her 3 times, she ends up wanting to get back the next day, while telling me she loves me. 

The dilemma: Some things just don't add up.
She just started a new job and exchanged numbers with a guy co-worker who she knows his intentions as wanting to get with her-- she said she told him that she has a bf and he stopped flurting. She said her reasons for getting peoples numbers at work was to be friendly and develop a good relationship.
One time I peeked at her texts, it had 19 texts from that co-worker, same week they met. Then on another day she brings two of her friends to his house with his friends to drink. She tells me that theres nothing wrong with hanging out with co-workers and socializing by drinking. He calls sometime, during the nights around 11-12. She calls him around that time, once in a while-- both sides only talk max for about 2 minutes. 

When I asked to look at those 19 texts, she shows me 5 and shut the phone-- She tells me she doesnt want a relationships where bf/gf checks each others phones. She also thinks I am dumb, by saying she needs to delete her texts or else new texts will not get through.. She also erases her calls from time to time. Last time she erased calls were Oct.5-- there was about 4 calls to and from her Co-worker since then.

Oh, looking at Firefox history, she looks at his facebook more than mine.

Her very good girlfriend told of her own solution to their relationship, which is to erase texts and calls before she sees her boyfriend. Could it be that she erases texts and calls to avoid arguments? Could it be that she really is friendly, and very sociable? She does tell me where she is going, she tells me if the Co-worker is there and she also told me that she went to his house... Does those acts of honesty prove anything?

I thank ahead for any serious inputs.

All the way · Accepted Answer

Dont act on it unless your POSSITIVE. Obviously he likes her and maybe she only sees him as a really good friend, and if you dump her that is just excellent for him and he will be there for her and then maybe something will happen. I think you should just stop and be her bf.. actually have fun with her, do something romantic, just remind her that YOUR special. She may be worth it and if she isnt, well then atleast you won't ever wonder. Dont give him what he wants.

? · Answer

Ok, it sounds like there isn't any trust in the relationship. If you want to have a good relationship and continue to go out, you need to talk to her seriously which probably won't help much and somehow get to a point where there's a more loving situation going on. Where there isn't trust, there isn't much love. You aren't trusting her either though. You have a right to be suspicious, but maybe she has a right to have other friends besides you. It sounds like she's acting suspicious and distrustful, but you're acting a bit jealous. If you want to know the answer, I would suggest talking to her friends or seeing what she's doing without prying too much.

Dee · Answer

I am also very social and friendly. I hug and kiss my friends and do this in front of my bf. I want to be honest with him at all times. To me that is what she is doing with you. She is telling you where she is going and if that co worker is there. I would say that if she were trying to hide her calls that she would just erase all of them. Its alot easier. 
You knew how she was before you started going out with her. It sounds like this is just her personality. 
I don't think that she is doing anything wrong. But it sounds like yo have made up your mind that you want to brake up with her. Just remember that you have done this several times now and one of these times she isn't gonna come back, so be careful. Good Luck

fairlady · Answer

To be fair you did really dig in to her privacy.  I'm the girl in the situation (gave number to guy that wants me, hang out with said guy, text said person at night sometimes...).  I'm more of the social but cautious type so I never did anything... 19 texts from the coworker is not that much in a week.  Something is amiss, and your instinct may be right

xninjagrrl · Answer

wow if anything i think this girl needs to dump you and hook up with this co worker, you come across as a crazy person stalker, if you dont trust this girl, leave her, dont spy on her and make yourself look crazy and desperate

also, my phones have all been the same way, if i dont erase texts my inbox gets full and i dont get new texts..sounds like this girl may just be trying to avoid an argument with you HOWEVER i bet she has a crush on this co worker, heck they may have hooked up, you will never really know so stop trying, either live with it or leave her and find a girl who lives closer so to so you dont have to worry all the time

Amber · Answer

ive found out for myself that if there is reason for doubt,you should throw 'em out.Being in a relationship you should have complete trust in your partner and shouldnt have to torment youurself all day.The relationship sounds really unhealthy.While there is nothing wrong with opposite sex friendly relations,i read more into.Instead of basically calling you paranoid,she should be proving her love for you,and assuring you she is not cheating.I would find a new one,me saying this with the upmost respect,of course.

schzelle · Answer

if ur that untrusting and have tot snoop  and u have broken 3 times already i belive its not going to work iwth out trus thtere is no relation ship break uop move on but before u do get help

missryanair · Answer

wow this is complicated but from what i have read there is no trust in this relationship so if you dont have trust how can you love each other.. maybe you dont need to break up maybe you guys just need a break and see what happens.. hope this helps

Cody · Answer

i wouldn't don't want to hurt her feelings

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Women's opinion, should I dump her?

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