is this the same as cheating? Would like to here from both men and woman please.?

I don't think it is cheating because of the dynamic of your relationship. I personally would never hang out with other guys out of respect for my husband, but our marriage is great.

Marriage is in the heart... it is not just a piece of paper, so if in your heart you are divorced and ready to move on, then you should.

But don't hide it from him, have enough respect for your husband to tell him what is going on. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is the respectful thing to do.

Good luck

What does your husband think about this? Have you told him yet? First of all you are suggesting talking with this "other guy" because of things you are not getting at home from your husband. You and your husband need to either seek counseling or call it quits. The fact that he makes you feel like **** or is an alcoholic does not justify your actions with this other person in any way, shape, or form. It is not a solution to your problem.

And I do not believe you when you say "No sex No romance just hanging out". That right there is a trap. You might start off with the best intentions but your initial actions by design lack an sort of integrity so its no small leap that once things start to progress they get serious and then you do what most people end up doing...cheating.

I suggest you do the right thing and either try to fix the marriage or call it quits. This road you are walking is a dangerous one and lacks any real sense. It is very typical situation that almost everyone tries at some point and gets it wrong. I speak from experience on this I have seen it happen too many damn times. Fix it or get out period. Maintain your integrity.

You are desperate for companionship and fun. Your husband has deserted you just as much as if he had moved out of the house and moved in with another woman. He is not there for you sexually, emotionally, or socially. His mistress is alcohol and he is addicted. As a wife, you should be focusing on how to get him out of this hole. Get some counseling and go to the support group for the spouses of alcoholics. Learn how you are contributing to the problem by being codependent. Decide on the right course of action for your life and quit worrying about Christmas parties.. It is important to have friends, but you are fooling yourself if that's what you think this is. Your husbands trouble has created a huge vacuum in your life and this fellow is being sucked into the hole at light speed. You are not a helpless victim, you are an adult woman with a brain and a job. You don't need rescuing or pity, you need to get information, healthy support and you need to take control of the direction of your life. Do not tell your husband about this guy. There is no predicting what a drunk will do. It could be dangerous. Wake up and do something to help yourself. There are resources out there, you just need to find out what is available and take the first step. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better and you need to take advantage of the relative calm in existance right now before it's too late.

I think you probably already know the answer, and that's why you are asking. You are hoping people will encourage you and make it feel or seem right. Any relationship with the opposite sex has the potential of leading to sex. Would your husband think it's cheating? Does he know every detail of your relationship with this other man? It is sad they you don't have this connection with your spouse. It is almost as if he is cheating on you with his alcohol. He needs help, he is sick. You really need to speak to him about the neglect you are feeling. Ask if he is willing to get help, if not... make your action plan. Let him know your plan. Make changes to make it possible to get out of the relationship. Alcohol is the Devil, but I am a firm believer in doing whatever it takes to hold a marriage together if both parties are willing. Especially if you have kids.

No. Not at all. I would tell you. I have rather stuffy moral views on many things. This is not cheating in the least.

Allow me to get you clear on something; when you accept unpleasant treatment that makes you unhappy then THAT is betrayal. You are betraying yourself. That is the cheating.

Cheating is when you act against yourself. When you betray a friend and when you betray a husband then you have cheated yourself out of a trusting relationship. The person who pays the biggest price is the cheater.

Here you are taking care of yourself and not hurting anyone. There is no betrayal. In fact, quite the opposite.

You may wish to read this book

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Sin is when you act against yourself.

Let go of things when they stand between you and your happiness.

It's not cheating if you're just friends, however, you shouldn't keep it from your husband either. If he knows that you're just friends with this guy then hopefully he'll allow you to hang out with him without throwing a fit. There is a good chance that he might get jealous and refuse it, but maybe you could invite your guy friend over to your house to meet your husband first so he can get to know him and trust him with you as well.

It's not easy for a husband to let his wife go hang out with another guy, even if the friend is gay and ugly, but talk to your husband about how you're feeling and if he doesn't want you going out with this friend all the time, then maybe he'll finally be motivated to show you a good time again.

You are looking to fill the hole your husband has left in you with outside sources. That is not okay. Either go to counseling or separate from your husband, because with the way the way you're talking and thinking you are on your way to having an affair. You are trying to justify your actions, so that already tells you that you know what you are doing isn't great. Take care of your situation now.

Regardless of his sexual orientation, you could be walking on thin ice and cause more problems with your husband than it sounds like you already have. Being friends with this guy seems like it is a diversion, or a bandage to deal with larger issues. If there are money issues, aren't they being made worse by the fact that your husband is going to the bar every night? It sounds like you have been through so much. You deserve to find a way to take of yourself and be genuinely happy. You sound too aware of your situation to allow yourself to get stuck...good luck.

I would not consider it cheating. I have heard the opinion many times that it would be, and have never understood that. I believe that that opinion comes from insecure individuals (women in general) and from individuals who don't trust their spouse in the first place. Believe it or not men and women can actually share in a platonic relationship. If at some point it should start to develop into something more than that, then you'll have a decision to make. Good luck and happy friendship.

not really, if you think he is gay then hey he is, no wonder you enjoy his company. gay friends are sometimes fun,. you like the same things, and look at guys, is like hanging with girls. as for your husband is you are tight in money why the hell is he going everyday to the bar? he is not telling the whole truth!