How do you deal with not having your child?

There's nothing really you can do here other than being thankful for the fact that her APs have kept her in an open adoption because they could have just closed it.

I am really sorry honey... really sorry.

Its hard. To be honest, I had no idea how I got through. Part of it was working my guts out and on my days off I would watch the goriest or scariest movies I could find... movies I could never watch today. That was instead of drinking or anything else. These movies were the only ones I could watch that would actually numb the pain. It was and still is hell on earth.

My daughter graduates from primary school next Monday and I am going to see her. But it has taken a very long time to get here and I have had to play by so many rules. You really need to find a support group with mothers your age and who feel similarly. What you feel is valid and important. Loss is hard to deal with, I won't lie to you.

What makes you think you did the right thing? Because of what everyone else says? When it comes to adoption they will tell you that but everyone knows the best thing for the both of you is for you to have raised her yourself. They should have stepped up and been more supportive. I am very sorry you did not receive the support you needed.

If you want to email me and just have someone to hear you out, feel free to email me anytime at myst1998@hotmail.com.

Take care and all the best.

While you lost your dad, you didn't lose your child, what you did was abandon her when she needed you most.

As for coping, I'm imaging coping without your child is going to be infinitely different to coping without your dad - mainly because your child is supposed to be able to rely on you, whereas your dad is supposed to be there for you to rely on.

I can only try to help with the coping with losing your dad as that's the only part I have any knowledge of (I was the abandoned baby). My adad died when I was 25 (so 'bout twelve years ago), and while it was in this case "for the best" (he'd had a traumatisingly agonising bad back since I was seven), I sincerely miss talking to him ... and so I never stopped it. I have photo's of him around the house anyway, and often just get a quiet five minutes and spill my guts out to him. While he might not be able to offer advice now he's gone, he's still there to listen to, of you need someone there. :)

You have had a tough time. Firstly on your father, when someone dies it can be so traumatic you enver get over it. Some peole can heal the wounds over time and others never get over it. Try to be happy for your father in heaven doing whatever it is he loved best and beleive me i bet he is very proud of you and watching you and helping you without you knowing.Just because he is dead does not mean you have to die with him. Feel the pain but live his memories and look at the pictures and be happy for the live he had not mourn the death.

Your daughter... now this is difficult as it is a hard decision you made so very young. I have had abortions and regretted them at the time ( different but bear with me) but as I grew older and saw where my life was going I knew i couldnt have gave that child the life they needed. I am ready now to be an adult and got my grades at school and went on to do well for my myself. It sounds to me that you are doing some amazing things with your life.. enlisting in the military is a great thing to do for yourself and for your country. Everything in life happens for a reason.. perhaps your daughter is detined t be your daughetr but live with that other family. It nmust be so hard to se epicture sof her that as heart breaking as it may be you might have to let go and let her grow and be looked afetr by someone else. In time you will have more children and perhaps when she is 16 or 18 she will come looking for you. But that must be a choice she makes. I am sorry to say but the best thing you can do is make a great life for yourelf..not only in honour of your fathers memory but alos so whenyour daughter is old enough she have a mother that she can be proud of!

Good luck... life can be hard but you sound strong.. you will be just fine.

Seriously? One day at a time. One foot in front of the other until your child is grown.

sorry to hear of sad situation

knowing you gave your daughter the best chance at a stable life

is the best gift of all

when she is older you will have the opportunity to explain why you had to make this choice

I am sure she will be grateful for all you sacrificed for her to have a quality life

luckily is open adoption and you will get to see her as she grows

let her know she always has you there for her

give yourself credit, you have done well with out your father, that shows strong character

Happy 20th