Does anyone have an EX that won't let go?

Question

I left my now ex husband over 3 years ago and stayed at my brother's place. My husband at the time begged me not to file for divorce that we would fix things. My ex told me I was crazy, nuts in the head whenever I didn't agree with him. He once raised his fist to me and said it might knock some sense into me. He instead chose verbal and physical abuse of unwanted grabs which once was so hard it left a purple mark on my thigh. When I finally left 9 years later he told me I must be mental for leaving him. He still to this day whines about what I did to him leaving with HIS kids. Less than a month after leaving I received papers in the mail for not only the divorce but a bitter child custody battle as well. He had told me if I left him he was going to get back at me by fighting dirty.

Fast forward until now:

He recently told me this, I'm still pretending to be happy without him. I have a wonderful boyfriend now and my ex told me I'm not capable of a lasting relationship. His words "no guy will ever do as much for you as I did". I told him my boyfriend has done more in 8 months to help out than he ever did. My boyfriend does not live with me but it's a LDR so he stays at my house quite often. As soon as I quit putting out (his words) it will be over. The ex worked but at home was mostly too tired to help out and criticized me for not keeping things neat enough while raising two kids. Now he keeps his house full of clutter. He has been alone since the divorce over 2 years ago even though he told me I could be easily replaced. I have dated a few guys and he makes me out to be just having fun but will eventually be miserable without him. When I dropped off our two kids for the weekend he whined some more about how could I do that to him, I am despicable for taking his kids away. He told me I'm proud of myself for doing that. He was especially upset with me because it's my turn to have the boys for Christmas morning. This started all the cry me a river rants again. Whenever he has other plans he doesn't mind not seeing his two boys for weeks other times it's the most awful thing ever to not see them all week. He gets three weekends a month visitation plus I let him visit at my house if he is in town.

He acts like he's the only guy with kids to ever go through a divorce. Will he ever just LET GO?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This isn't about the kids for him. This is really about being rejected and the fact he is a control freak. For nine years he controlled you, abused you, and berated you. I wouldn't take his crap anymore. If he calls you and wants to harrass you tell him that you have moved on and he needs to do the same. Then ask if he would like to speak to the children. If he continues let him know that the only relationship the 2 of you need is one about the children and hang up. Do not allow him in the house naymore if he does this at your home. I would keep an eye out for the safety and feelings of your children as his behavior does not just end with you. Document his behavior in a notebook because you may need it one day. If he makes any threats to you or the kids call the cops. Unfortunately, you are going to have to be on your guard and treat him like a child. If it upsets your home or life, do not allow it. Stand your ground and be firm, not rude.

Miss~E · Answer

Probably not - he's trying to convince you that you need him because he needs you. What a loser. Keep enjoying your life. He's still trying to abuse you by putting you down and making you feel less without him. It's not working so you're on your way to getting rid of him in that way. The kids will always be a tie but you were smart to leave. Enjoy the happiness you've found.

~Best Wishes!!!

? · Answer

Honey, you should finally face data - besides the undeniable fact which you like him, he does no longer love you. enable me repeat it - *he does not love you* you should face this easy certainty. If he enjoyed you in any respect, he does no longer cheat - and shop dishonest - and initiate yet another relationship. whether he's finally unhappy with this different lady, in certainty that his relationship with YOU is likewise unsatisfying. it fairly is in all probability his faults, and the end results of his subject concerns, so do no longer beat your self up questioning "oh, if only I did this greater advantageous, or exchange into prettier, or did no longer nag as plenty, then he'd love me and stay with me." that is not something you do, that is that he the two won't be able to take excitement in what you provide, or does not want what you should provide. so which you should be the single to stroll away right here. tell your self which you deserve a guy who loves you, no longer a guy who strings you alongside. ensure that, stressful because it fairly is, you should shrink all touch with him till you recover from your thoughts for him. tell your ex your won't be able to shop up the pretence of this "friendship" till you're completely over him, so if he cares for you in any respect, he ought to admire the hot distance between you. Then circulate on which incorporate your life. clarify to your son that he can nonetheless spend time together with his "father discern," yet you are able to no longer spend time with the guy and don't prefer to hearken to too plenty approximately him, because of the fact it makes you unhappy. tell your son that the guy isn't coming abode, and he will ought to get was a pseudo "divorced baby." (there are a number of useful baby's books to help him with the aid of this transition.)

**Nevaeh · Answer

sorry but the answer is NO!
he's the father of your kids and has the legal right to see them unless he is unfit.
so you will need to be civil with him and see him. But that doesnt mean you need to take his crap!
if you dont want him to keep verbally abusing you (which he seems to enjoy doing) then you can always get someone to take the kids to meet him that way he cant see you and try to put you down.
if you must speak on the phone then explain that as long as he acts like an adult you will answer his calls but as soon as you hear something negative towards you that you will hang up! put your foot down girl! if your strong enough to leave him I'm sure you can be strong enough to have him respect you. men only respect a woman who respects herself. know that you are a strong and brave mother/ woman. your kids look up to you.You teach your children with your actions! let them see that its not ok for a man to act this way and that a woman needs to be respected always. especially if you have girls you need to be the good example so that they dont fall into the same cycle one day! I'm glad you left that man and now you just need to stand up for yourself!

Anonymous · Answer

Since the fist was raised I say that you made a wise choice by leaving.

Jessica · Answer

Honey he physically mentally hurt you!! i would have called the cops and make a report. If i were you i would have kick his *** a long time ago. fight for your kids cause he cant just do that

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Does anyone have an EX that won't let go?

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