I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and not sure if we should break up, we are both in our 30s?

Question

I don't want to be alone and I love my boyfriend he is a nice guy but I'm not sure if we are right for each other. I want to get married and have another kid (I have one from a previous relationship and he has 2, none of them live with us but visit), so I decided since he's otherwise great to overlook those things. We have been living together for 3 years and financially I can't support us both and he doesn't pull his fair share, he says he is always broke from child support and when I ask him to help with bills he procrastinates and gets an attitude about how much his life sucks and he's always broke, I literally have $10 in my account at the end of the month so I'm broke too. He never wants to go with me unless its with his family and friends and not mine, if I do drag him somewhere he will play with his phone, pout or sleep the whole time. He is frequently grumpy and moody and I often have no idea why and feel like I am walking on eggshells too often. I had a cat when we got together and we agreed to get a dog, I then found abondoned puppy and wanted this dog bad but he complained for months until I got rid of it, now he says our apartment still stinks and I have until this evening to get rid of my cat I've had for 8 years and our dog we agreed on because one of them had an accident in our apartment and he's sick of it. It annoys me too when they have accidents but pets are sometimes annoying just like children and you can't get rid of them everytime they make a mistake. We do have a litter box for the cat and take the dog out frequently but she's 7 pounds and can't hold it very long if we are sleeping, I can't put her in crate all night because then he freakd out about her whining. I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like nothing I ever do is right. He's so unhappy all the time, he broke up with me on halloween because I wanted to stay at a party and was being "unsympathetic" because he wanted to leave as soon as we get in the car he says I feel better, let's go to my friends house (I said I would stop by to say hi if he insisted but would rather be with my friends I don't see that often because we are with his friends all the time) this turned into huge argument and we broke up, he then said he loved me and wanted me back, he now is complaining all the time again about the apartment smelling like pee (even if I clean and I don't smell anything) about work (he wants to quit but we can't afford it, and I have a very stressful job too where customers yell at me all day and the rules change weekly because I work in government), about the dog (having to take her out, her barking at people when we take her out), the cat (she sheds too much and coughs up to many hairballs), about me getting stressed out about work (my job is high stress all my coworkers feel this way but got to pay bills), about being broke (although he doesn't help me much all he does is buy grocieries sometimes, pays some bills if I make him by refusing to pay them), about how we don't see each other much (I spend Saturday and Sunday with my kid and he choses to not go), how he works more hours then me (I can't work overtime), how he cleans more than me (he's here more making more of the mess), and about my driving, he wants to live in a house and I can't afford it unless he helps me more etc. My family and friends love him and say they are happy I'm finally with a nice guy (have dated some jerks) but the constant nagging, moaning and unhappiness is starting to get to me! I feel stressed, unappreciated and bad about myself, I don't know what to do.... I gave up talking to him about it because he gets mad yells at me and leaves :(

C-Nasty · Answer

okay, i went through this when i was 16 lol, but minus the living together part.and i think you should leave him. he sounds like he doesnt treat you well at all, and i feel that if you got married, then he would still do the same thing, and if you did have kids together, i think he would complain more about a newborn crying all night and changing dapers. i think he would not want to change diapers, and want to leave when the baby got too "annoying" for him. i don't know him in person,but i think that you should really leave him if he complains that much and doesnt respect your wishes or ever want to do what you want to do with out sleeping, or being on his phone the whole time. i think you deserve better, and that age doesnt matter. my mom is 35, and was just recently married again. she had been single for about 8 years before she married again. and what the other person said to you is just plain rude ! your never too old to find love. and it soumds like this guy is not good enough for you at all. ESPECIALLY if he wants you to get rid of your cat, that you've had forever ! i am a huge cat person, and that would really tick me off. you can do so much better, and i bet your friends and family agree, and probably miss hanging out with you with out your boyfriend being there and being unhappy, and ruining your time and making you leave early for his friends.

thefallen · Answer

Hi! Please don`t be depressed anymore. It is time for you to move on dear. He is a no good vampire who is sucking you dry for everything you got. You deserves so much better, and they are out there!
Tell him that you don`t wanna have it like this anymore, and you will kick his *** out the door if he don`t pay at least half of your bills etc. There is no excuse for not doing that. He should wake up and smell reality, and not be a whining little kid. I don`t find much to like about him anyway, so if I were you I would start looking for a new and better man right away. I can`t believe how kind you are to that jerk of a man. He does not deserve that at all my friend. A partnership is all about sharing and caring for each other, and I can not see that you are getting yours at all. He is a no good vampire my friend, get him out before he takes all out of you. You need someone who loves you as yo are, and tells you that all the time. One who actually don`t fall asleep around your friends and respect you 100%
I wish you the best of luck with the future, and that you may have a great x-mas! Peace and love from Norway

kailua77 · Answer

He sounds like a big child.  You should live your life & do all the things that make you happy, whether they include him or not.  

You will know when you've had enough bc eventually this will have to come to a head if u want to get married and have another baby.  Ask him if you can have a civil, adult conversation with him & spill your guts when your ready.  Communication is key to this problem.  No yelling or leaving.

Paris · Answer

Oh hell no. What are you doing with this guy. He doesn't sound marriage material let alone b/f or bedmate. Look, as my aunt used to always say, its better to be alone then be with someone you're not compatible with, it just makes life so much more complicated/frustrating and difficult to live. Eventually as you get older your attitude will change and you will bring in that attutide to a new relationship that may be worth more then this one. So think about it. You're still young and the only crap you should put up with is with your child until he learns to socialize himself. This man doesn't seem to be.

confused · Answer

it sounds like you need to do you for a change and not do stuff that dosent make you happy. i would break up with him and find someone that will make you happy and further more if you really like your cat keep the cat and get rid of him shoot he complains about the dogs and the cats and you he needs to look at himself with the bitchin he does he is acting immature. you should not be the only one doing everything thats alot to be put on someone get rid of himand start doing you

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, before you are too old to meet someone decent.

Rachel · Answer

yes girl break up with him before its too late

Rick · Answer

KEEP THE CAT !!!

Trending News

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and not sure if we should break up, we are both in our 30s?

8 Answers