To Spank or Not to Spank?

How to best discipline children can be difficult task to learn, but it is crucially important. Some claim that physical discipline (corporal punishment) such as spanking is the only method the Bible supports. Others insist that “time-outs” and other punishments that do not involve physical discipline are far more effective. What does the Bible say? The Bible teaches that physical discipline is appropriate, beneficial, and necessary.

Do not misunderstand—we are by no means advocating child abuse. A child should never be disciplined physically to the extent that it causes actual physical damage. According to the Bible, though, the appropriate and restrained physical discipline of children is a good thing and contributes to the well-being and correct upbringing of the child.

Many Scriptures do in fact promote physical discipline. “Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death” (Proverbs 23:13-14; see also 13:24; 22:15; 20:30). The Bible strongly stresses the importance of discipline; it is something we must all have in order to be productive people, and it is much more easily learned when we are young. Children who are not disciplined often grow up rebellious, have no respect for authority, and as a result find it difficult to willingly obey and follow God. God Himself uses discipline to correct us and lead us down the right path and to encourage repentance for our wrong actions (Psalm 94:12; Proverbs 1:7; 6:23; 12:1; 13:1; 15:5; Isaiah 38:16; Hebrews 12:9).

In order to apply discipline correctly and according to biblical principles, parents must be familiar with the scriptural advice regarding discipline. The book of Proverbs contains plentiful wisdom regarding the rearing of children, such as, “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). This verse outlines the consequences of not disciplining a child—the parents are disgraced. Of course, discipline must have as its goal the good of the child and must never be used to justify the abuse and mistreatment of children. Never should it be used to vent anger or frustration.

Discipline is used to correct and train people to go in the right way. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God's discipline is loving, as should it be between parent and child. Physical discipline should never be used to cause lasting physical harm or pain. Physical punishment should always be followed immediately by comforting the child with assurance that he/she is loved. These moments are the perfect time to teach a child that God disciplines us because He loves us and that, as parents, we do the same for our children.

Can other forms of discipline, such as “time-outs,” be used instead of physical discipline? Some parents find that their children do not respond well to physical discipline. Some parents find that “time-outs,” grounding, and/or taking something away from the children is more effective in encouraging behavioral change. If that is indeed the case, by all means, a parent should employ the methods that best produce the needed behavioral change. While the Bible undeniably advocates physical discipline, the Bible is more concerned with the goal of building godly character than it is in the precise method used to produce that goal.

Making this issue even more difficult is the fact that governments are beginning to classify all manner of physical discipline as child abuse. Many parents do not spank their children for fear of being reported to the government and risk having their children taken away. What should parents do if a government has made physical discipline of children illegal? According to Romans 13:1-7, parents should submit to the government. A government should never contradict God’s Word, and physical discipline is, biblically speaking, in the best interest of children. However, keeping children in families in which they will at least receive some discipline is far better than losing children to the “care” of the government.

In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are told not to exasperate their children. Instead, they are to bring them up in God’s ways. Raising a child in the “training and instruction of the Lord” includes restrained, corrective, and, yes, loving physical discipline.

Everyone thinks "discipline" means spanking or hitting. When it doesn't always mean that.

When one is self-disciplined, they have taught themselves control over their bodies- like basic things- I cannot eat all I want to- I had to learn that. I have to just discipline myself and say no to over-eating.

One has to learn they can't possibly have "everything they want" either, and go into debt over buying stuff. This is a self-control issue. Either work for things or just get along without them!

Teaching children discipline does start very young- they have to learn that throwing a temper tantrum will NOT get them their own way! Parents do not have to spank- just be very firm and put junior in his room and tell them, crying and screaming will NOT change my mind, and you come out of here when you are calmed down. Parenting isn't for sissies, because junior has tons and tons of self-will and will try to wear you down! Parents need to be together, and be unmoving in setting the rules.

The ONLY times spanking might be in order is when the kid gets outright spit in your face defiant! I remember only a very very few times, getting spanked.

I remember being snotty and doing things on purpose to my siblings- Mom would spank us for really being cruel. And I remember being older- like 12 or so, and really lipping off to my mother one day and I got the dishrag right across my face, with a "you will NOT speak to me like that!!"

When the spankings are few are far between, they have an impact when it does happen. It must not be done in anger or like a beating!

And as I said- there are other ways and means, but the parent must be unmovable once they set the limits and never let the child wear them down with their tantrums. I see older kids having tantrums, and it's not pretty. Best to set your authority when they are quite young.

I pity the single mothers, they have no one to back them up, and I know first hand how the kids can test and test and wear you out.

You don't have to spank your children for them to be well behaved. My children do not rule the roost, they are respectful, and most people comment on how well behaved they are. It didn't take spanking or yelling to do that. It took understanding what they were cognitively ready to understand and consistently controlling the situation. Not spanking takes time and effort. Redirecting isn't always fun but when the wheel turns and things click it makes it well worth it.

Not to spank.

To those that do,

You want to raise your child based on a 2,000 year old book?

Are you kidding me. Go out and read a book about proper child discipline, such as child psychology, handling punishment rationally, or operant conditioning; all up to date techniques that keep children from being the "rebels" they are. Its not much to ask, considering most Christians spend their lives reading the same thing over and over again, you would think they have the ability to do the same with information that could be of better assistance. Hitting solves nothing; that's savage discipline.

I don't spank my kids. They're smart enough to understand why they can't do something, and they're more likely to respond to restriction than violence.

My parents spanked me for every infraction when I was a kid. Everything, even the imagined rebellion, was spank worthy. Didn't teach me a damn thing, except that my parents had no self-control, and how to make pain feel good.

definitly spank. I was spanked a lot when I was younger, and I am a perfectly normal adult. Love my parents, and plan on doing the same with my kids. Don't really abuse them causing real pain, but it gets the message through loud and clear. Too many kids are running around wild with timid little parents afraid and unable to gain control. I won't be one of them.

Every decent study out there states the hitting children doesn't do anything but damage them.

Spanking is nothing but lazy parenting. It takes actual work and patience to cultivate a decent human being. It takes no work at all to beat the fear into them. To make them unsure of their decisions and to link fear and love.

Although, since Christian love their god to the point of fear this sickness makes sense.

I wouldn't beat them with anything. But a spank with and open hand on the butt is usually sufficient at getting your point across. Just use your own good common sense.

Yep, christianity is pro beating of children with "rods"

I worked in a nursing home a long time ago. And every person (without exception) dumped there by their family had one thing in common, they all spanked their kids.

You may not pay for it in an after-life, but you will pay for it.