Love with Married woman.? Career not going in right direction. Am I ruined. ? :-(?

You, my friend, are a mess. You need to press the restart button. Move out of the country.

Sadly, I've been where you are. I was dating a guy I work with (which is a bad idea, by the way) and I fell for him - and while I believe he has feelings for me, he didn't fall in love with me as I did with him. I tried to act as if, like it wasn't a big deal (and I never made the mistake of mouthing the words to him). After we broke it off (well HE broke it off) he got back with his old gf which killed (kills) me. I still tried to act as if, but there was obviously something "broken" between us. We use to be thick as thieves, we joked that we were each other's "work spouse". Everyone thought we were secretly seeing each other anyway. He was fine keeping up that relationship between us, even tried to make me the "other woman" (even after I found out that his GF now LIVES with him!).

I had to realize that he's a selfish prick and backed off. It was like you said, little by little. I stopped forwarding emails to him (we talked religion and politics all the time and would send each other news clippings), stopped purposely going by his office (thank God he works in another section of the bldg where I have to deliberately to there to see him) and started taking the other way around. Whenever he comes to my office to talk to me and the converstion turns away from work, I either steer it back or find a reason to interrupt him and remove myself. I think he got the point because he stops only rarely and sometimes tries to bring up a topic we used to discuss - but I keep it moving. It's the only way I can survive. I'm seeing someone else but I still love him and I heard rumors that he's getting engaged for Christmas - I wonder if he'll have the never to tell me himself. Any way, sorry to go off on a tangent, but I hope my story helps you. You have to just cutt her off. There is no other way. Good luck.

Life's way too short to be throwing it away on another guy's wife. Nut up or shut up. End it completely and move on. Everything will get better for you after you send her back to her husband. Besides, do you really think you can build a relationship with each other after you started out in an adulterous one?

aw i am sorry. I think you'll be fine. If you got another job where you found another woman that could possibly fill her place, that might be somewhat of a problem solver or at least it will cushion the blow. I am in love with a married man too and i am married, and it kills me that i can't speak to him at any time i want, and only at certain times, etc, until we get this whole things settled, so, lately i have been finding myself trying to emotionally disconnect myself, since we can't be together right now. Temporary of course but maybe you can do that until she comes around and decides to be with you?

This woman is making you crazy and you probably can't focus on your work because of your feelings towards her. It is time to bring the relationship back to a professional level. She said she doesn't love you, so why put yourself through this. It is time to focus on YOU, your life and career. Let her know it is over. It may hurt but you won't die from it. Hang in there and get your head back in the game.

Just try to get out more and meet other people. Those are just feeling you are having its up to you to change your feelings by meeting someone else. Try to tell her how you feel and maybe she wil back off.

Congrates As confused as you are I'm surprised you found a woman that dumb

geez, it can't really get any worse for you, poor soul. I hope you don't get made redundant because I think that would be the nail in coffin.