Ten points for the best Wikipedia creation myth?

One day, a little gnome named Dingledorf Haselpon von Smith was walking along the forest, minding his own buisness, when he spotted a computer. "How odd!" He wondered aloud. "A computer in the middle of the forest! Now this I must see." As he walked over, his friend Ponchan the giant saw him and stomped over. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DINGLE?" (Everyone in the forest knew him, becuase that's how forests like these work, and they all just called him Dingle.) "I've found this computer sitting on a tree stump, and I don't know what to make of it!" Being a giant, Ponchan's head was in the clouds, and he was gone before Dingle had a chance to say "Platapus". Why platapus? Dingle wasn't sure, but he said it anyways, with confidence and pride. "Platapus." That done, he ventured over the the computer. The machine was humming away, and the screen showed the about:blank page in mozilla firefox 9! Dingle was puzzled about this product placement in the forest. The only creatures in the forest with money were the keebler elves, and they were all loopy from their cookies. (as if elves weren't loopy enough!) At any rate, he went work going from one site to the next. He had a glorious time! His first stop was Google, then Facebook, where he created a page for himself, so all his gnomies could add him, then he was surprised to find an encyclopedia on the internet. This intrigued Dingle. "Hmm... A lot of the information in this encyclopedia is correct... this won't do! And he proceeded to Google where he typed "Make my own free website" He clicked "I'm feeling lucky", because just last night, a leprechaun had granted him luck in exchange for a mug of beer and a bowl of Lucky Charms. The leprechaun came through for him, and Dingle found himself on Freewebs.com! Slightly annoyed at yet MORE product placement in his day, he proceeded to make his own encyclopedia. He was having fun making templates and adding new features, when suddenly, he ran out of luck and a message came up that said, "Cannot post article 1,983, space exceeded, click here to upgrade." Dingle, looked around to make sure no one was looking, and clicked it. Using his gnome magic on the next page, he commanded someone's credit card number and expiration date to come up on screen. They did. Dingle was quite pleased, and clicked "Unlimited space". Just as he did, Jesus came down from heaven. "What are you doing Dingle? You are cheating people out of their money." He sighed and said, I will grant you your site, but under one condition... It will be cursed!!!" Dingle gasped, "What kind of curse?"

Jesus looked at him in that way that only Jesus can, and said, "You aren't in control of the articles. Anyone can come in and edit them. Schoolchildren and stay at home moms will be ruined! No one is safe from the wrath of... WIKIPEDIA!!!!" Jesus laughed maniacly and floated off. Dingle stared at the screen in disbelief... What had he done?...

Creation myths always begin with once upon a time

One day, Jimbo Wales was looking something up in Encyclopedia Britannica, but the information was already four years old, and he didn't want the hassle of having to look the subject again in each of the yearbook supplements. He fell asleep thinking there had to be a better way. He was woken up when a bunch of jigsaw puzzles fell on his head. He noticed that his daughter had inscribed letters on the back of each puzzle piece. That's how he got the idea for Wikipedia.

After Perseus beheaded Medusa, Mnemosine came along and used Medusa's hair as wire for a new Internet encyclopedia. The wire worked exceptionally well, aside from the unfortunate side effect that it poisoned the entire Wikipedia community with Meduda's desire for revenge against Perseus. That's why Wikipedia is one of the Internet's foremost battlegrounds.

The one above is my own invention, though probably someone else has come up with something very similar. This next one comes from Lis on the NCIS Fanfiction Archive:

" Peter Griffin had grown tired of his gladiator mice. "Instead of mice, I would like to put of men in a gladiator ring," Peter said.

"The boxing commission would shut it down, just like the FCC shot down PTV," the dog Brian reminded Peter. A little flashback about PTV goes here.

"It doesn't have to be a battle of the fists. It can be a battle of the mind. Ahhh...." Peter said.

"Maybe a website that purports to be a democracy, yet operates like a battleground."

"I got it!" Peter exclaimed. "An open source encyclopedia anyone can edit!" "

The warriors Hatef and Makoi fought each other for 40 days and 40 nights, not pausing for either sleep or food, inflicting on each other great bodily harm with their punches and kicks. So thoroughly had they exhausted all their physical energy at the end of the 40 days and 40 nights, that their bodies were but mere shells for their minds. But they wished to continue their combat in whatever way possible, even if only in the roughly polygonal world of VRML. And yet they recognized that given the state of technology at the time, VRML would be a poor substitute to the physicality of the combat that they had grown used to and which had rendered their bodies useless. Boseter came up with the idea of a mostly text-based combat, with the occasional image and sound, for Hatef and Makoi to continue their heated battle and catastrophic warfare against each other. And that is how Wikipedia came into being.

Or: somewhat less fanciful but still just as mythical: James Wales came up with the idea for Wikipedia all by himself and recruited all the earliest editors himself all by himself with no help from no one else.

Darth Sidious wanted to spread misinformation about the clone army and the Death Star, so he created Wikipedia.

The thing about Jimbo Wales is that he's actually a CIA operative. He was part of the team that created HIV and malt liquor. Jimbo's first assignment was to create blackplanet.com in order to make a mental prison for Black youth.

Unfortunately, a significant fraction of Black youth didn't buy it: Black know-it-alls. Jimbo's solution was to create Wikipedia.

The Cobra Commander asked Destro to come up with a way to use social networking websites to recruit mercenaries with computer skills. That's how Destro came up with the idea for Wikipedia.

There once was a man named Jimbeau,

Who wanted to woo a bimbo.

But without much of a weenie,

He relied on Wikipeedee.

And now his marriage is in limbo.

Darn, that's a limerick, not a creation myth. Oh well, you get what you get.

One day, Ganesha decided to buy a new puppy. But then Ganesha had to go on a special mission, and the puppy's caretaker arrogantly ignored the feeding instructions he was left with. The puppy pooped over Ganesha's computer. Mercury came flying by, dropped the crapped on computer into a Glad ForceFlex bag and flew it over to a volcano in Hawaii. And that's how Wikipedia came about to be.