My friend is getting on my nerves. Should I feel bad about it?

Question

I invited a platonic friend I know from high school to stay with my husband and I during the holidays. I haven't really seen him much in twenty years but we talk a lot on facebook.

This guy has been a pain in the *** ever since he got here. First of all, I thought he was going to be here for three days and it's going to be almost a week before he actually leaves. I bought a bottle of gin for a party I was having and he drank it all himself in two days. He keeps touching all my food without washing his hands first (I'm pretty sure he's not washing them after the bathroom either). My friends and I playfully badger each other if we do something stupid, but this guy is just going out of his way for things to pick on me for. I also find him staring at me a lot which is pretty creepy, and if I look back at him he'll say something like "what are you looking at me for?" I've asked him nicely to wash his hands the first time he started to touch my food and he acted like there was something wrong with me and he acted like I was a germaphobic.  Plus there's countless of other inconsiderate things he's doing that are just driving me nuts. 

Every little thing I do around my house, he thinks he has to give me advice on how to do it better. It's kind of hard to take that from someone with no job and no degree due to sheer laziness.
I'm realizing that all these skills he talks about on the internet are greatly embellished.

I'm normally a person who speaks their mind, but I've been biting my tongue all week because I know saying anything is going to escalate into something I don't have the patience for.

I'm finally getting rid of him tomorrow morning, so I don't need advice on how to tolerate him. I just feel like a bad person for inviting this person here for the holidays and then not being able to stand him. I've had house guests before who didn't make me want to punch them so I don't think it's just me, but should I feel like a bad person over this?

ily&lt;3 · Accepted Answer

No, you shouldn't feel bad at all.

You invited somebody for a nice time, who you thought would be respecful and enjoyable to be around.
it isn't your fault if this guys a tool.

easilyparanoid · Answer

No of course not. Talking to someone online and being around them for a week in person is completely different. People change after high school, or the way this guy sounds hes digressed. Hes being completely juvenile. Hygiene man Hygiene! You cant help that this guy gets on your nerves. It happens. Nothing to feel guilty about, just dont invite him back. Your not a bad person, in my opinion your a lot more tolerant then I would have been.

Raunak · Answer

What is the point if u feel bad/or not??

End of day it does not matter. What matters is how u deal with such ppl in ur future life. Since he is leaving soon, just let that time come and jump and dance once he has left ur place. Then go back and decide that come what may, you will keep him at a distance on facebook or otherwise. Just pretend busy and unavailable to him and all others you don't want to mess up with ur life.

All the best as its all about self discipline which at times is tough to achieve. Hope it helped. Bye!! :-)

franfifi@sbcglobal.net · Answer

Good riddance!  Just write this down as a good lesson and don't make the same mistake again next year or ever again.   No I don't feel like you are a bad person,  You could not have stood this as long as you did if you were a bad person.

Dawn · Answer

Go with your gut instinct and leave her alone a bit. It's good that you recognize that you might be bothering her. I think it would be a good idea to write down on a piece of paper everything you want to say to her, like, every second, and then just put the paper in your pocket. It's kind of like tricking yourself into thinking that you're telling someone about your problems. :)

operajester · Answer

No. You shouldn't feel bad. You extended your kindness to him and he abused it slightly. You just need to show some tough love.

rosie · Answer

No it happens. Kudos to you for keeping your cool. Once he leaves you will not have to deal with this again.

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My friend is getting on my nerves. Should I feel bad about it?

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