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Ending A Relationship, while still living together?
Hey everyone first of all I am 21 so it's a little embarassing that I have to look for advice on how to do this online but all my friends are not being great help at this time. Here's the deal, I've been living with my boyfriend for the last year and 9 months of our 2 year relationship. Everything is good and he is a great man and I still love him very much. The problem is I don't know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore. Also, I see our lives going in different directions I plan on moving to Chicago to attend Graduate school in a year, he said he would go with me but I know he will not like it he would really like to stay in the country. I respect that he would be willing to go with me but I feel if he does he is going to be resentful. I want to end things I'm just not really sure how to. To make it even worse our lease is not up til May, and I don't think it's fair to wait that long to end things, so how do you live with someone after you end the relationship? I want us to be friends and for the living situation to be tolerable but I'm not sure how he will react to me ending things. Please give me good advice like I said I still deeply care about this man but I just don't think there is anyway for us to work our relationship out and even if there was I don't think I want to.
2 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Hey Meech,
Well it sounds like a couple of things,
1) You both need to talk about what you want to achieve in life seperately. Aside from marriage and kids together.
2)Most likely you love him, but were never actually IN LOVE since you're doubting being with this person for the rest of your life. @ JBay is right about not assuming how he will react to the change of scene. And about love being much more than just a feeling.
At the end of the day Love is a will. A free will decision to be the best for not only the benefit of yourself but for your best friend.
SO The longer you spend time together the harder it is to seperate. So for all intents purposes I would highly advise to make a clean break in May when the lease is up and take that time to do what you need to make amazing experiences and great friends all along way.
Remember you're only 21, so much life to live to the limit, ya know? Boys will always come and go, you're future husband/best friend will be there to stay like clockwork.
Moving in before marriage, in my opinion, only complicates and prolongs these sensitive situations. We all live not all of us learn ;) Make it a great 2010 friend.
Source(s): Love, Life , and Joy - JbayLv 41 decade ago
I think you may need to reflect on why you really want to end this relationship. This is a really unfair reason to end a relationship. He obviously loves you if he plans to go with you. He shows commitment by willing to grow and go through changes with you. He won't feel resentful because it is something you both did together. It is a decision he made based on love, not your forcing him to. The "In love" feeling comes and goes. The love and commitment part is what is important. To get a nice taste of the "in love" feeling, plan a date to just get away together from the routine of everyday life.
