Is it time to divorce?

Something is missing from this story. Do you really have NO idea why this started? A 100% complete mystery? Or do you maybe, kind of, sort of have an idea?

I think it is great that you are wanting to work on your marriage. Too many people these days throw in the towel the first sign of trouble. Go to a professional. Go to therapy, find out what is going on with her. Do NOT let her kick you! That is terrible.

Have a married friend going through same thing; his father is senile/helpless and at the point of moving in, but my friend's wife is very upset and their life is pure he!! And of course if her mother needs help, I'm sure she'll have no problem demanding that she move in "because she helps with the kids" or something like that. Not fair but how it is. Of course I don't know your circumstances but in general I think people in this (or any) kind of situation need to put their wife/kids first. You can always spend weekends, weeks, months, in pre-agreed (w/wife) blocks of time with your mother and still live somewhere else & build an independent life with your core family. Flights can be cheap! Marriage is hard enough and for reasons I never imagined --- but try not letting a base issue like separation from your parents get in the way. Your wife needs to be #1. Plus your wife is from another country, I'm sure she doesn't want to be just absorbed into your family and be made secondary in the core family. Go see a counselor!! That's what my friend is doing.

Years ago before I was married my father underwent chemo and I stayed with him for 2 months (in PA too); I had to start a job out of state so I moved out and got on with my life, and visited him a lot. My father recovered from a very very bad prognosis and he's been fine now for the 21 years since this happened.

This message is really centered around you and the way you feel. The whole situation is really dependent on what is going on in her life that is upsetting her so badly. My suggestion is that you talk to her about what she means by "living in your shadow". I'm guessing you are a bit like my father, in that, you make the major decisions for the family, you bring home most of the $, you are producing a "model father" image to your children, while your also teaching them that a wife is to be subservient to you.

Mexico is a very patriarchal country, and the women there are often fine with accepting the supportive role of the wife. But this isn't Mexico, man. Women in America want equality..... at the most they want a say in what happens in the household.

So maybe just communicate in a genuine manner, and not like someone who's trying to solve the problem by interrogating her to get something out of her. Know what I mean?

Her being unhappy probably has nothing to do with you, and I can understand how frustrating that must be for you. It sounds like maybe she is depressed or unhappy because of a lack of confidence and things to do in her life. I think she probably needs to find some things that make her happy that she can do to feel like she is living her own life instead of living in your shadow. Maybe you can ask her if there's any kind of classes that she would like to take once a week or something, or anything new that she would like to learn.

Basically, even though she says stuff like "i'll be fine, or I'll get over it", you guys need to sit down and have a long talk about what's going on with her. Let her know that your concerned and want her to be happy but that you don't know what to do. Encourage her to find some things that she can do to make her life more fulfilling for herself and go from there. If that doesn't work then I would suggest counseling.

Sounds as though she resents the fact that you moved to PA to be near mom and feels that perhaps you put her above your wife. A tough situation. Did she understand the need for the move? Did you discuss it with her fully before making the move? Is there a reason you have to stay for three years? Can you go back to where she and you were happy?

Consider all angles. Talk with her. Reassure her that she is still number 1 in your life. If mom is well now suggest moving again. Also, suggest some counseling as she has some anger management issues that she needs to deal with.

Without knowing it, you may have became distant to her with all the health problems your mom has been having. Try to take her out and have a good time with her. Ask her what she would like to do. Do little things to let her see that you love her. Talk through any problems that she is dealing with. Ask her what you can do to help her feel better. She could be feeling resentment that you are near your family and she is not. Maybe you could plan a trip to see her folks. good luck

A freedom or a right is a state granted permission to do something within a certain capacity that they later set with court cases. It is a joke. All of politics is a joke. Telling someone they are allowed to be free is not real freedom and is even worse being a total perversion of what a right or freedom really is.

Wow you have a situation try conseling it may help. Make her feel beautiful again, if she says she lives in your shadow that means, she feels like she loosing her self. Take her out and think outside the box. Women love when thier man gives them something that she liked in the past that she told you about, and show her you pay attention to her. Nothing worst than being in a marriage with a man that makes you feel regular....

It sounds like your wife is not happy and so she is complaining about little things. Maybe there is something unresolved in her life and both you and she need to talk about it. If she won't talk to you, maybe see if she is willing to talk to a counselor.

I have gone through episodes in my life like that. It is typically when I am not happy because I am bored, and feel neglected by my spouse. Are her needs being met in the marriage as far as does she have interests of her own as well as things the both of you do together. If not, that could be a problem.

She hates the fact that you guy moved to PA and you don't put your marriage first. did you ask her what she thougt about this? dont' make decisions without consulting her first. dont just say WE ARE MOVING BECAUSE MY MOM IS SICK. i hope you didn't or that can be the problem. you aren't giving her her place as your wife.