what would you do?? please help?

Question

alright so im 20 and hes also 20 we've been seeing each other for about 4 months solid now about two on and off before that...i see him everyday he stays with me at my apt every single night and on top of that he just moved his computer into my apartment he has a tooth brush here and a few other things but we still arent officially bf/gf which is really irritating but i dont want to push him into something he doesnt want?

so a few weeks ago he was at my apt with my roommate and i wasnt home yet...so he decided he was going to have a conversation with her.....so they were talking and blah blah blah eventually my roommate asks "so what are you and brandi" and his response was "friends at the least"

so katie (my roommate) was like ??? do explain he said i just dont want to put a title on it i mean im committed to her but...i want to be able to give a girl my number and not feel guilty

so ofcourse she told me about this and i was pissed...so a few days later i texted him and told him i knew about the conversation and i was upset i told him that i was developing feelings for him that i have never had for anyone else and i needed to know if we were wasting our time....and predictably he said no i dont think were wasting our time...so i let it go and just kept doing what i was doing

so a week or two later me katie and him are sitting on my bed just hanging out...he leaves the room so katie grabs his phone and starts looking through it (i love that girl!) she starts forwarding me all these text to some other girl?! and again i was pissed i left my apartment to go cool off

so i was sitting in my car like a blubbering idiot...i decided to text him i said you need to explain so some words were exchanged blah blah blah and he says what do you want me to do ...so i said you cannot do this to both of us and thats your decision to make...

so im still in my car realllly upset he texts me and says come up here so we can talk so i go back to my room and sit down and he says well i met this girl last night and ive been seeing you for a few months so im pretty sure you know what my decision is....(lame right)

so were sitting there for a while and i told him that our whole being in between a relationship thing is bullshit and it needs to end, and he said so are u saying i need to make you my gf right now? and i said no because if thats not what you want then were gonna end up in a worse situation then were in now

so i asked what was with the whole relationship thing? he said i dont really know i think im waiting for something like a feeling or a click idk its kind of an anxiety thing.....which i totally get but now im sitting here waiting for what??

he continues to talk to girls on the internet...and not just talking like verry flirty nothing really that sexual though but it bothers the piss outta me

but while hes doing this were still getting closer and more like were in a relationship but why wont he make it official...its like were in a relationship and he doesnt know it....he does just about anything he can to make me happy when im upset but i just dont get it why would he continue talking to other girls if hes committed to me and treats me the way he does (very well)

i dont know what to do ive never had such strong feelings for a guy before...he fits my man profile almost to a T

what would you do?

is he just waiting for someone better to come along? maybe im just a placeholder???

ps( i dont want to leave him i know that seems like the obvious thing but i think im falling in love with him )

Chris · Accepted Answer

maybe he's not sure. if u guys been dating for 4 months and aren't gf/bf that's a lil weird. cus i know ppl who met jus met each other and r now engaged, and another couple they talked for a few months and they're bf/gf. if u love him then stick w/ him and see where things eventually go. i hope everything works out between you 2. 

can you answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsZy87ZuQHlS_HFdXABZnhfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100113145739AA6azR8

Little Miss Cant Be Wrong · Answer

You said it yourself.  He is just waiting for someone better to come along.  I am sorry because I know this hurts to hear this.  But looking from our stand points, it's easier for me to tell you this.
He has got everything any man would want right now.  A girlfriend, plus the right to give out his # and talk on the computer to other women.  He stays at your place.  Does he help you pay rent?  Is he considerate of you?
Think about these questions before you make a permanent decision.  I don't doubt that he cares for you but I think you are getting set up for a fall.

? · Answer

What you are doing is allowing him to have his cake and eat it to and thats not cool. He's keping you around just in case he cant find some one better.

You feel like you'r enlove, so I wont tell you to brake up with him, but I will say you need to play his game and beat him at it. Since there is no real commitment, do your own flirting, talk to guys online, and be obvious about it. You dont have to be flirting with the hopes of getting a new guy, just have fun. If he has the same feelings you have for him, he will get jealous and finally lock you down.
If he dont. than you will see for your self that he isnt really into you, and you can drop him.

Katlady · Answer

When someone won't commit, it means that they're looking for someone better.  If he won't make the commitment you want, what he does as far as other girls is none of your business, no offense, because choosing to be with him without a label means you have to accept his behavior, so either accept it, or leave.  BTW, and no offense meant again cuz it's true, but you have to have pretty poor self esteem to fall for a guy who thinks of you as only a friend when you are this intimate.

? · Answer

Hey girlie, he's sponging off you:  you're giving him the booty but why should he buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free??  You're right, once he gets a chickie warming up in his bullpen, you'll be history.  If I were 20 years younger, I'd come there and steal you from him because you're definitely a keeper.  Give this guy the royal flush, he's out of your league.

JENN · Answer

You two should sit down and talk about this until you reach a decision bad or good one. Then you won't feel to bad because you tried everything to make it work while he didn't try so much.

your mom · Answer

You probably don't want to here this, but I think your right with the placeholder thing.
He may like you and everything but it also seems like he doesn't like you enough to commit.
If this continues, you can't do anything about it. It seems like your already trying hard enough that he should get the message, and if he doesn't commit after you talking to him about it then he doesn't want to.

? · Answer

he can't fit to a T.  he would do what your "to a T" dude would do - he would make it official and you wouldn't be having this problem.  i think you should take a break from him - it will help you clear your head and hopefully give you time to look at this objectively.  

and obviously you need to talk to him about it once you've cleared your head.

Samy · Answer

you should tell him again that your feelings are growing.
and then you should have ur roomate do her thing some more when she gets a chance.  ;)

? · Answer

SOUNDS LIKE HES USING HER YOU NEED TO KICK HIS *** OUT RIGHT AWAY

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what would you do?? please help?

11 Answers