It's 1-14-10 and my 30 yr old daughter has not given my granddaughter her presents from me?

Um, I am having a really hard time understanding (truly, not being sarcastic here) why/how you even have a bond with the child of your own child if it sounds like you don't have a good relationship at all with your OWN child. Forgive me for thinking this, but your daughter sounds like a Xitch. Does she actually say to you out loud that she will not let you see your granddaughter whenever she gets angry? And why should she get angry b/c you are upset that she has not given her child the gifts from grandma? This is really enough to make her so angry that she would cut off your relationship with the granddaughter (and it sounds like she'd be included in that deal)? Your daughter has a lot of growing up to do. Her way of seeing things (is she a spoiled brat? -- sorry, but that would be your fault) sounds egocentric and dysfunctional just from this one statement.

The question you must ask yourself is: If I have no power in this situation, how can I gain leverage? Unfortunately and painfully the answer is not one you will like, though I believe it will be effective in changing the dynamic b/w your daughter and you in the long run. You must stay away from her. This is very similar (though different) from when a guy is giving you the cold shoulder. When a man doesn't want you and thinks he is IT and is calling all the shots, you must choose to walk away, not call, not visit, not whine or complain, not beg for acceptance, love, forgiveness, or favors, and remove any appearance of desperation or anxiety about the situation. It is amazing how people come around and change their tune when you stop feeding in to their own idea that they are the boss. If they are playing russian roulette with your emotional relationship, it's time to call it quits. Let them feel your absence, let TIME PASS so they can re-think what they've done, and you'll see that things will change. Bad news? You don't know how long that will be so you would have to decide to be strong and consistent. Think about it: Your grandchild is not YOUR child, so you don't have to worry that she is not being raised or cared for by someone. They don't sound like the ideal parents, but you did not indicate you believe they are unfit to raise this child either. At this point, forget about the Christmas presents. Next time you must answer this question, tell her that mommy has her presents and to ask mommy for them. Keep repeating this until the little girl gets it and stops making YOU feel guilty for not having them. Plus, remember, they're only toys. I know the meaning is that they came from you, that they are a gesture of your love, etc., but the child clearly has no idea what's going in in Adult Land. No need to fill her in, just tell her to ask mommy for them.

If the playing it cool and aloof from your daughter doesn't work (or is not possible for some reason), I would sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. I'm not sure if you have no backbone as a mom or if you consider yourself a 'strong woman,' but don't take the coward's way out of this. You must express to your own child that you do not appreciate that she has lied to you and to her child about these gifts, you don't understand what has kept her from doing something as simple as handing a box over to her own daughter who is excited and anxious to receive it, and you hope that this discussion will not lead to her taking it out on your or her daughter by denying you time with her, or punishing or verbally abusing her to get back at you. You know better than me what all those little punch words and essential statements are that you must make. If you are to stop your daughter from behavior like that, you must first get her to admit that she does it. And...if there is a reason you did not disclose -- or perhaps are not aware of -- as to WHY your daughter has such a hard-line response to you, then you need to examine yourself and your own motives. Excuse me for saying this, but I have a mother who I love very much, and yet I have seen in her and in countless other mothers, the ability to smother their children, want to control them, want to be "in their business," and think they are just doing what's right or what they should. If your daughter is sick of you butting in or...whatever else the issue might be...don't skip over acknowledging that for your own sake. Although your situation was relayed with little detail and seems kind of ambiguous and VERY problematic, it sounds like there is much more to the background that would set the stage for such an extreme reaction to such a benign request. Take care, good luck, and be honest with yourself and with your daughter. It's your only hope.

treten to call te cops if u cant c her and if they still refuse call the cops and get an escort to there home or next time u c your granddauter bye her a new one gl