What adoption question do you hate the most?

Mine are - in random order, with lots of sarcasm...

Is there someone out there who wants to put their baby up for adoption? Because me and my husband have been married for 3 years, we have lots of money, a big house, and I just want to be a mother so desperately. Any baby, please! Just make it a girl with long, blond, curly hair and freckles. She has to be gifted in math and be a piano phenom. Please, she can't have any tantrums. I don't like tantrums. But, please, please, please I just have so much love to give a child. Any child. Newborns only.

(YUCK!)

How can I adopt my boyfriend's baby?

How can my boyfriend adopt my baby?

(UM - ever heard of marriage? And - this baby already has a biological parent. Can't shove them out of the picture)

Can I put my baby up for adoption without the father's permission?

(Nope - sorry. Legally and morally you need his permission. And if he was an ax murdering, child abusing, drug addict - why did you have sex with him?)

How much does it cost to adopt one of those super cute asian babies and how long does it take?

(Pretty much all IA questions piss me off)

How do I take my siblings/friend's baby away from them? They are bad parents, and I love the kid so much I want them for my own.

(We know sweetie. No one makes a better mother than the woman with no kids of her own. Get pregnant if you want a kid. Stealing isn't allowed)

Why are people against adoption?

(Many, many reasons. All of them have been posted. Quit being lazy and read.)

As an adoptee:

"What did you do?! You must have done something pretty awful for your parents to have given you away!"

Any variant of asking if I'm "grateful" / "thanking my lucky stars" etc for my biological mother giving me up for adoption or my parents adopting me.

Any reference to my having been "an orphan."

As a prospective foster / adoptive parent:

Basically any question or comment involving the words "*those* children" -- e.g., "Do you think you could really love one of *those* children?" (Helloooo! I AM one of *those children*!) "Don't *those children* have a lot of issues / are drug addicted from prenatal exposure / etc."

Prospective foster or adoptive parents who ask about the money issue. I don't mind questions about subsidies and such when they relate to actual care of the child (like affording / offsetting the cost of significant medical or psychological care), but when they are asked for the prospective parents' own financial gain, it's totally not okay. (At the information session for the agency I am beginning to work with, there was actually a lady who asked if it was necessary to itemize their expenditures for the child, or if it was just an 'honor system.' ... I wanted to smack her.)

And it's not so much a question as a statement that I've run into a lot since I've started the process, but I absolutely hate it when people start making comments about what a "wonderful person" I am or how they think I have such a "big heart" or whatever because I want to adopt. Or when people say things about how the child will be "so lucky" to have someone to take them in. If / when I am able to finally adopt my daughter, it will be *ME* who is the lucky one, to have the HONOR of having a child in my life. Adopting doesn't make me a good person, it makes me blessed.

My top one is

'whats so bad about adoption!?' or 'why do you hate adoption?'

Firstly its been asked many times before. Everyone that asks that asks like they are bringing something new. No one that has half a brain 'hates' all adoptions. Not everything is bad about all adoptions. It would be as simple as them searching their question and there ya have it. THe answer they are looking for typed over 100 times lol.

I hate the 'were are desperately trying to adopt'. or the 'we have to adopt'. I also hate the ones where the adoptive parents already assume an unborn child is theirs & need information on a certain thing. Yeah and the money for foster care question is not only annoying but down right pitiful.

The following:

1) How much do I get paid for fostering? And is it more for different types of kids?

2) I don't want to adopt from foster care, because they ALL go back and I can't deal with that pain, so ....?

3) I really need a baby because I can't have one and GOD is telling me to adopt, so where do I start, GOD willing?

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@@Dustin: LOL. True and very funny.

All the ones Allanas said + one more:

"Was his mother on drugs?"

I adopted my son from foster care. When people ask me this, my eyes roll back in my head, my face turns green, and I develop superhuman strength so I can rip their skulls right out of their stupid heads! Oh, wait. That's the Incredible Hulk. Ugh. Either way, it p!sses me off that people think they have the right to ask such a personal question. How is that ANY of their business...and do they ask that when their friends get pregnant? I think not.

Can adoptive parents legally cut off communication entirely in a SEMI-OPEN adoption?

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201...

<quote>

My husband and I are thinking of adopting a baby. The birth parents want a semi-open adoption, which we are willing to do. We agreed to send pictures and updates twice per year, and the birth parents are free to send us whatever communication they'd like. They do not know our full names, our state of residence, etc.

My question is, if at some point down the road, we no longer want to keep the adoption semi-open and want to make it a closed adoption, can we do that or can the birth parents then sue us for breach of contract?

</quote>

Well there have been two in the last couple weeks that literally made me so angry I had to walk away from the computer before answering them.

1. Can I bring a woman into the United States so she can have a baby, then we take the baby, then we send her back..is this legal?

2. Can we close an open adoption after we get the baby from the birthmother?

both are just disgusting morally and ethically.

Other then that the annoying ones are the "we want a newborn so where can i find a birth mom?" "Why do some people think adoption is wrong?" and any question of aunts/uncles/grandparents/ ect asking if they can adopt another family member's baby because it is "god's gift to them" and apparently not the actual mother...urgh. Ah yes, and anyone who tries to argue that domestic infant adoption from an agency is coercion free and a wonderful and perfectly ethical thing.....amazing how they are all PAP's and have no clue what the other end is going through or is experiencing...

Mine include:

"I have to adopt/my friend has to adopt because of infertility"

"How much money can I earn from fostering"

"How do I go about adopting from abroad (including the UK)"

"How do I go about adopting a newborn because the mother is a bad mother/she might go back to violent partner, the mother is single and poor so is selfish to want to live off other people/will be a bad mother because she is poor"

Usually it is "Does anyone know someone who wants to give away their baby/unborn child" or "Why are people/adoptees anti-adoption/bitter"

The last few days though it has been "How do I save... err adopt an orphan from Haiti"

Lately the ones that have gotten to me are:

"Is it ok to separate twins?" Or any form of that.

"Are you glad you weren't aborted" or anything suggesting that adoptees should be grateful they weren't disposed of in any way.

Also, " Should I tell my child they are adopted?" I just can't believe that people still consider this level of deception with their own children.

Can you love an adopted child as much as your own?

Should I adopt or have my own?